AITAH for leaving my cheating fiance and then cutting financial support making her family go back to poverty?

A nephew’s birthday party took a devastating turn when Paul caught his fiancée, Andrea, kissing a family friend in a secluded corner. What started as a joyful celebration ended in heartbreak, unraveling a relationship that began in high school and forcing Paul to make tough choices that would change lives.

Paul, a 33-year-old IT professional with a stable career, had been the financial backbone for Andrea and her struggling family. From funding private school for her sisters to covering medical bills for her mother, he gave generously. But when trust shattered, Paul pulled the plug on all support, leaving Andrea’s family in financial turmoil. Was he too harsh, or was he right to protect himself? This story will leave you questioning where loyalty ends and self-preservation begins.

‘AITAH for leaving my cheating fiance and then cutting financial support making her family go back to poverty?’

Paul and Andrea’s love story began in high school, a teenage romance that weathered challenges like long-distance during Paul’s college years.

So I come here for advice because everyone on my family and friends circle thinks I'm overreacting and need to forgive and the usual b**lshit so I want to know...

Let me get you the context first I Paul (33m) meet my fiance Andrea (32f) in high-school both were (15) at the time of and since then we both stay...

but when I finally got my studies done and was able to work at the town we both are things got better... To this I have to add Andrea comes...

and a zinc roof gotta bless South America standars so knowing this I was mostly the provider of our relationship it didn't bother me I love to take her out...

and see her smile same when I take her to car rides on my father car as time progressed the things I could afford got better since I study in...

Paul’s kindness didn’t stop at Andrea; he opened his home and wallet to her family, offering them a better life.

To this that I got myself a nice place to live that I rent from a old man that my parents knew we are talking one of those ranch houses...

then one day she ask me if her parents and 2 of her sisters (12f) and (14f) could come live with us that their living conditions are really bad and...

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Fast towards then and I "help" pay for a private school for her 2 sisters plus some medical treatment her mother has going through I must say the rest of...

but mostly have day to day jobs and you know how the economy is a hellhole down here so it never bother me helping them since I could...

What should’ve been a happy family gathering turned into a nightmare when Paul stumbled upon a painful truth.

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Now comes the famous D day we got invited to a birthday of one of her nephew and told her she should go first then after I'm out I'll go...

I walk there and I turn the corner to see my fiance hugging and kissing one of her family friend she sees me we both lock eyes of course she...

but her family pick up fast something was happening as she start banging on my glass windows and screaming as I turn the car on and then drive off I...

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After a week I had to face her of course and return home to see a whole congregation basically all her family was there imagine 2 parents 8 f**king siblings...

I could see past her betrayal we kinda fight a little but of course I was o**rwhelmed then I ask the question if the cheating was going for long she...

I ask her to talk alone told a couple of mutual friends to help us and we set a meeting then as I areive first explain to them then told...

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and I don't wish to know so you get the idea that the moment I learn about that information i drop the meeting send her a message saying is canceled...

and had to face each and single one of them trying to convince me to forgive their sister mistake but I end up blocking them and putting my foot down...

and bla bla then what hurt the most was both my parents saying that seeing me like that wasn't right and perhaps I should forgive and fix "our" relationship and...

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I was doing only our relationship to wich I end up cutting ties with most of them besides some of my best friends and my parents on a low contact...

After ending the relationship, Paul faced intense pressure from all sides while Andrea pleaded for another chance.

Now 2 months after the whole ordeal I paid the last month then cut ties with all payments the house I was renting gone the private school gone her mother...

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and a house wife who barely finished nurse school you get the idea when the bill came to her she lost it all and came running to my parents to...

and to give her another chance if it's not for her for her mother I said that I had no attachment more to her or her family and drive off......

and of course they say I shouldn't be this cruel that i have the money to spare even again my parents why let them suffer after all this time that...

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and possibly k**ling grandma because I stop paying or care that they go back to their s**thole house because they can't pay the other one... Tldr: fiance cheated so I...

Edit: First of all, I want to apologize to all of you for reading such a mess of a text. I wrote it on my phone, but that's no excuse....

I was really o**rwhelmed here around me, and I really needed someone else who could understand my point of view. Besides a couple of best friends, the majority was to...

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and block for my parents I'll stay low contact since I do understand why they kinda side with her but I don't wanna hear what they have to say and...

but right now I feel like s**t and I don't wanna know the whole story of why and when perhaps one day when I get the courage I'll humiliate myself...

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

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When trust is shattered, should you still carry the weight of someone else’s family? Paul’s story raises tough questions about love, betrayal, and financial duty.

Paul poured his heart and resources into supporting Andrea’s family, from housing to medical bills. Her infidelity, especially with an ex, broke that trust, prompting him to cut all ties. Psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Betrayal is a deep wound because it destroys trust, the cornerstone of any relationship” (The Science of Trust, 2011). Andrea’s refusal to clarify the affair’s duration only deepened Paul’s pain, making reconciliation feel impossible.

At the same time, Paul’s circle argues he should continue supporting her family out of compassion. But prioritizing his mental health isn’t selfish—it’s survival. Beyond that, the pressure from his community highlights a broader issue: society often judges actions by their outcomes, not their causes.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Social media erupted with opinions on Paul’s dilemma, ranging from fierce support to witty jabs, offering a glimpse into how people view loyalty and responsibility.

Many users backed Paul, arguing he’s not obligated to fund Andrea’s family after her betrayal.

Not-a-Cranky-Panda − Nothing is stopping the people who say you should pay for everything from paying for everything.

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walDenisBurning − NTA. When people say “this isn’t what it looks like” a majority of the time it is exactly what it looks like. It’s not your responsibility to support...

Cut ties. And move on with your life. It seems that you’ll be better off without the weight of the “family” dragging you down financially.

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armadillocan − NTA not your responsibility.

mofa90277 − NTA She put her own family back into poverty. She cut her mother off from medical aid. She kicked her sisters out of private school.

Crafty_Special_7052 − NTA you are no longer obligated to pay for anything. Y’all have broken up. Why would you still pay for their s**t? This is the consequences of your...

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Some felt Paul’s decision was too harsh, particularly given the impact on Andrea’s mother.

youneedbadguyslikeme − You’re dumb af for paying all that.

A few users used humor to highlight the absurdity of Andrea’s expectations.

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CloudNinechiga − Ah yes, the classic 'I cheated but can you still support my family? ' move. I mean, if only there was a course on how to be both...

Emotional-Hair-1607 − One of the first rules when dating someone who is paying your bills is to not f**k someone else.

Others offered nuanced views, questioning Andrea’s motives and the affair’s timeline.

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[Reddit User] − Bro she CHEATED ON YOU why is this even a question

Tiny-Relative8415 − Her and her family are using you as a cash cow, so she got caught and now she is sorry. You are not in the wrong. Cutting ties...

maybe since you were in School hoping to make your lives better. This is no longer your problem. Your friends need to respect your decision and respect you more than...

Most users rallied behind Paul, emphasizing that he’s not responsible for Andrea’s family after her betrayal.

Paul’s choice to walk away sparked heated debate, but it underscores a key truth: trust is the foundation of any relationship, and once broken, setting boundaries is crucial for healing. What do you think of Paul’s decision? If you were in his shoes, would you forgive or move on?

For those who want to read the sequel: [UPDATE] AITAH for leaving my cheating fiance and then cutting financial support making her family go back to poverty?

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