AITAH for kicking my houseguests out 11 hours before their flight is scheduled to leave?

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He prides himself on being the perfect host: spotless home, local tours, home-cooked meals, and a return to routine only once his guests depart. But everyone needs downtime, and for him, the Monday after a weekend of hosting is sacred—a buffer to recharge before facing the workweek.

When his friend—aware of this plan—booked a red-eye that still left him on the hook until Monday night, his patience snapped. He offered one final 8 AM airport drop, drawing a hard line between hospitality and personal boundaries. Now he wonders: was he unreasonable to reclaim his day of rest?

‘AITAH for kicking my houseguests out 11 hours before their flight is scheduled to leave?’

My friend and his wife have made plans to visit us this summer for a weekend stay. The flight is two hours, so not a really long journey for them. We have our home professionally cleaned regularly and go all in to be good hosts to our guests. However, with any good thing, some people try to take advantage.

I usually will take an extra day from work after guests leave to get rest or even tidy up the house a bit. It’s just a peaceful time for me to return to the normalcy of our household after being in host mode. Before my friend booked his flight, my husband let it slip that I will not be working the Monday after my friends’ stay with us.

Next thing I know, my friend tells me that they will be flying out on a red eye the Monday I took off for rest. This means they will arrive early Friday morning, and leave late Monday night. To that I responded that I will be taking them to the airport as early as 8am Monday morning so I can have my day of rest like I planned.

My friend tells me that he doesn’t understand why they can’t just hang out at our place or have us show them around town more on that Monday since they have a late flight. I explained to them that the day off is for me to rest, not to continue to be their host. I told them that they are more than welcome to leave their luggage here if they want to go explore on their own, but we will not be hosting them or playing tour guide after Monday morning.

He goes on to admit that it was cheaper for him to book the later flight on Monday and that it’s not a big deal for him and his wife to just hang out at my house all day until it’s time for them to fly out. Keep in mind that I will have to take them to the airport or pay for rideshare because he refuses to pay.

I will also have to feed them. I told him that they are welcome to visit and stay with us, but staying at our house all day Monday is not an option and he needs to make other arrangements. He’s now accusing me of being a horrible friend and his wife says we’re AHs. Your thoughts?

“Boundaries are the true test of healthy relationships,” says Dr. Harriet Lerner, a clinical psychologist. In her view, hospitality loses its meaning when it becomes obligatory rather than generous. Hosts who can’t say “enough” risk burnout and resentment, which ultimately damages friendships rather than strengthens them.

Psychologist Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Languages of Appreciation, observes that hosting is a gift—but like any gift, it carries the implicit promise of the giver’s comfort. When that promise is broken by extended demands, the result can feel like emotional exploitation. Recognizing when one’s goodwill is being stretched too thin is essential to maintaining mutual respect.

From a practical standpoint, experts in etiquette advise setting clear expectations before guests arrive: confirm arrival and departure times, discuss meals, and outline any off-limit days. This proactive communication not only avoids misunderstandings but also invites guests to take shared responsibility for logistical details—transportation, meals, and downtime.

Finally, conflict-resolution specialists suggest framing firm boundaries with empathy. A statement like, “I’ve loved hosting you, but Monday is my personal rest day—here’s your 8 AM ride, after which I won’t be available,” balances honesty with kindness. This approach preserves friendship by treating both parties’ needs as equally valid.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and unfiltered:

treehuggerfroglover − “Keep in mind that I will have to take them to the airport or pay for ride share because he refuses to pay. I will also have to feed them”. No you don’t. You don’t have to do any of that. And if you chose to I think it would be a mistake. Simply tell them you are offering a ride at 8am and they can take it or leave it.

If they don’t accept the ride you will be locking them out of your house promptly at 8am. They will not be welcomed back in at any point for any reason, and you will not be providing transportation past that time. They can decide if they want to pay for their own ride or just remain stranded in a city where they have no place to stay. Shouldn’t change your plans at all either way.

Edit: for everyone responding saying this is sooo rude and they wouldn’t be my friends anymore after, that’s kinda the point. My friends don’t blatantly insult me and disrespect my time, effort, and money. If they did I wouldn’t consider them friends. I wouldn’t want them in my home. So you can stop responding that I’m a horrible person with no friends. I’m happy with my friends because they’d never do this.

Worth-Season3645 − NTA….He refuses to pay for a ride share? Oh no, no, no. Not only would I stick to my boundaries, I would also tell them you have fed them for the weekend and hosted them. They can figure out their own way to the airport.

And it may be no big deal to them to stay at your home. Of course not. They think they are at a hotel.. It is a big deal to you. And if I understand correctly, this trip did not even happen yet? It is for this summer? Well guess what? They just lost their free place to stay. No one abuses my hospitality and calls me an ahole.

Ok_Sea_4405 − ESH. Your friends are not being unreasonable by asking you to spend Monday with them or just let them hang out, but they are being unreasonable by not taking no for an answer.

But you sound like the least gracious host in town. Like, why have people visit if the thought of spending 12 extra hours with them causes you such trauma? Using the term loosely of course. It shouldn’t be traumatic but you are making it so.. You sound exhausting.

Quick-Possession-245 − This is so weird. Your friends are weird because they decided to stay an extra day instead of ASKING if they could stay an extra day. You are weird for making such a big deal out of kicking them out of the house. Why can't you just tell them that you have other plans and it's not convenient instead of climbing a hill to die on?. ESH

Working_Routine9088 − I am confused. Are these your actual friends? Because if they are, why wouldn’t you want to spend as much time with them as possible considering they live a flight away? Do you really need a full day of rest to recover from a few days with them?

I agree they should not have assumed they could stay Monday or that you’d drive them. However as a friend I’d be glad they could save money and to see them longer. Maybe compromise and take them to the airport early afternoon. Or just let them hang at your house on Monday but don’t “entertain” them.. This sounds like a strange friendship.

AngrySquidIsOK − So they're no friends of yours really.

Otherwise-Abroad-959 − YTA they shouldn’t feel entitled to your time or transportation but intentionally taking them to the airport as early as possible and expecting them to sit there all day is an a**hole move. There should have been a lot more communication involved in the planning process but I would never want my friend to sit at the airport for hours so I could “rest”

ubiquitous_delight − YTA I would never dream of treating my friends like this. If you're going to do all that then you just shouldn't have them over at all. It seems like you don't even like these people.

ekm8642 − ESH. Your partner should know why you take the day off after having guests by now, and shouldn’t have said anything. They should have asked permission to stay through Monday. That being said, having boundaries is great, but being totally rigid and inflexible is also somewhat unreasonable in this circumstance.

I can see taking a day off if you had say, extended family staying for a week. Kind of seems like overkill to die on this hill over weekend guests. There are also so many compromises that get you some alone time, and also don’t make you look like an a**hole.

“Hey, I did have some things I need to do Monday afternoon - how about we grab an early lunch and then head to the airport? There are luggage lockers there if you want to drop your bags and Uber into town to explore more.”. Do you even like these people? Sometimes we have to extend ourselves for friends/family.

SmallHeath555 − ESH - kicking your guests out is crappy. I don’t see the big deal in letting them hang. On the flip side you don’t need to be their tour guide or feed them, let them hang if they want and DoorDash some lunch.

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect reality?

Hospitality is a dance of generosity and self-care—and sometimes stepping on your own toes is the only way to teach proper steps. Drawing limits doesn’t make one selfish; it safeguards the very goodwill one hopes to extend. Have you ever had to enforce boundaries with friends or family? How did you communicate your needs while preserving the relationship?

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