AITAH for inviting my kids to dinner because they never contact me or their mother?

A 62-year-old father and his wife are struggling to understand why their three adult children have completely stopped communicating with them. Despite believing they were good parents who provided everything their children needed, they now find themselves ignored, hurt, and confused by the silence.

Hoping to reconnect, the couple attempted to bring their family together with a dinner invitation, only to be met with no response at all. The rejection left the wife deeply saddened and the father increasingly angry, prompting him to question whether they were somehow at fault. The situation raises uncomfortable questions about parental blind spots, emotional accountability, and whether love and provision alone are enough to maintain lifelong family bonds.

‘AITAH for inviting my kids to dinner because they never contact me or their mother?’

The father opened up about feeling abandoned despite years of parenting.

Me (62m) and my wife (59f) have 3 kids (31m), (26m), (24f) but they never talk to me or their mother at all. They never call us, text us, come...

and my wife and I both really hate this because we've been great parents. We both get that they are all adults but they could at least say hi even...

It's extremely hurtful as a father, and my wife feels the same way we love our children, and we did the best we could to raise them just to be...

If we were bad parents that did something horrible to them I'd understand, but we were never bad parents so both my wife and I just don't get this.

Attempts to reunite the family were met with silence.

We decided that we wanted to plan a dinner and invite all 3 of them over so that we could be a happy family again because we miss them, but...

My wife was sad about this, but I was mad at this point all we wanted was for us to be a family and they all rejected us.

The frustration turned into a painful reflection on effort and expectations.

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We raised them, gave them a home, food to eat, a bed to sleep on, paid for their education, healthcare, clothes, and in return this is what we got. Are...

From the parents’ perspective, providing stability, resources, and care feels like clear evidence of good parenting. However, adult children often evaluate their upbringing based on emotional safety, communication, and how conflicts were handled, not just material support. When multiple siblings independently choose distance, it often points to a shared experience rather than coincidence.

The parents’ desire for reconnection is understandable, but the framing of the issue centers heavily on what they gave rather than how their children may have felt. Viewing communication as something owed can unintentionally push adult children further away, especially if past interactions involved guilt, dismissal, or lack of accountability.

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On a broader social level, this situation highlights how estrangement rarely comes from a single incident. Repair, if possible, requires humility, curiosity, and a willingness to hear uncomfortable truths without defensiveness. Rebuilding trust starts with listening, not convincing, and accepting that reconciliation cannot be forced on a timeline that only feels fair to one side.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many users questioned the lack of contact and suspected missing context.

Careless_Welder_4048 − Sir all 3 kids ignore both of you? ??? Come on I know something happened that they cut contact. What was it? ?

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[Reddit User] − Oh yes, what are the ? I imagine there are plenty of holes your children could fill in that would easily explain their unwillingness to communicate with...

Careless-Ability-748 − I find it really hard to believe that all 3 of your adult children are no- contact and you have no idea why.

butthole2043 − If none of your kids even responded to your invite, then you must be the a__hole. There are two possibilities:

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1. You did something to your kids that makes them not want to contact you. 2. You did a s__tty job raising your kids and they are all assholes.

CrystalQueen3000 − Bad parents rarely recognise or acknowledge that they were bad parents.

You met the bare minimum requirements of having kids and housing and feeding them but if all three ignore you and don’t respond to your invitations then you might need...

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Some responses were blunt, focusing on accountability and reflection.

DJ4116 − *’We raised them, gave them a home, food to eat, a bed to sleep on, paid for their education, healthcare, clothes, and in return this is what we...

Well, some of those things you provided are mandatory to provide to children that you chose to have. Lol.

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Now, as far as all three kids not talking to you…. that’s not just a coincidence. You had to have done something for all three of them to just ignore...

Amesaskew − If none of your kids speak to you then there is definitely a reason. I'll take it on faith that you're not being deliberately obtuse. In that case,...

I mean ask, not demand, not phrase it in a guilt tripping way. "Please tell me what we need to do to repair our relationship with you and how we...

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A few commenters shared personal experiences or offered calmer guidance.

Wonderful-Set6647 − Ok I am going to pretend you and your wife were good parents( I highly doubt it for all 3 kids to have no contact with you ).

How many times have you or your wife texted them, called them, went to visit them? The phone, texting , driving goes two ways.

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Don’t expect them to do all the work just because your the parents and your owed their time because your not! Are you putting any effort to make them think...

Do you randomly text/call them asking how they are? Or do you only text/call to berate them for not coming to see you? For not calling you enough?

For never visiting? Because if you’re just calling to give them a lecture/guilting them about how they are not contacting you enough. I can se why they avoid you. They...

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My guess you expect them to put you and your wife first I. Their life’s. And that isn’t realistic. So if you have truly not done anything to cause them...

You and your wife have raised your kids now enjoy the freedom. Stop focusing on how much attention your kids are not giving you and focus your attention on your...

Travel, find a hobby, find friends, get out of the house and enjoy life. Let your kids know you love them. But stop sitting around and waiting/demanding they show up.

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Start living for your selfs. If you think for a minute that you or your wife caused this apologize. It may be too little too late but the first step...

This opens up communication and don’t be rude or defensive when they tell you what you done. We are parents we have all made mistakes alone the way. It’s when...

But at the end of the day you can’t make your kids visit. So stop guilting. Let them know they are welcome anytime and you’re always there, but don’t keep...

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Until then get out and make some memories with your wife and enjoy your life. Stop sitting there stewing on things you can’t change and become resentful and hateful.

thatkoets − I am NC with my DNA donors! They will never admit they did anything wrong! Instead they would hold all the things they did for us above ours...

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shzan1 − The fact that all 3 of them feel the same way must be a reflection of you / your wife. Time to self-reflect and analyze.

My parents are not perfect- definitely passed down their generational trauma - but all 3 of us (ages 37 with children, 30 and 25) come home often, plan vacations and...

Although not just because they’re our parents but bc we actually enjoy their company, love being around them, it’s always good vibes and positive energies

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This situation highlights the painful gap that can exist between parental intent and a child’s lived experience. While the parents feel rejected and unappreciated, many readers saw the silence as a sign of unresolved issues rather than ingratitude.

Is it possible to rebuild relationships after years of emotional distance, and what does accountability look like when parents and adult children remember the past differently? Should parents focus on reconnecting, or on letting go and redefining fulfillment later in life? Readers are invited to share their perspectives.

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