AITAH For Ignoring the Wishes of My MIL and Letting My Daughter Read on Family Vacation?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Under Hawaii’s golden sun, a family sprawled across the beach, laughter and footballs flying. But one little girl sat quietly, her nose buried in a Goosebumps book, worlds away from the sandy chaos. Her mom cheered her on—until Grandma stepped in, frowning at the pages that held her granddaughter’s heart. Suddenly, a week of fun twisted into a tug-of-war over what makes a kid’s vacation “right.”

This isn’t just about a book—it’s about a girl’s spark and a family’s clash over who she should be. When a mother stood firm, letting her daughter read, it kicked up more than sand. Let’s dive into this Reddit tale, where a beach getaway reveals the messy balance of individuality and togetherness.

‘AITAH For Ignoring the Wishes of My MIL and Letting My Daughter Read on Family Vacation?’

39F here. Wife and momma of three (10M, 8F, and 5F). My husband Joe is one of three boys. His parents have a vacation home in Hawaii and every year they invite the kids, in-laws, and grandkids for a week long family vacation. Some context is that Joe and his brothers were all competitive athletes and loved playing sports and games on family vacations.

My in-laws encourage this with the grandkids (there are currently 7) and are always trying to get them to play sand soccer or football on the beach. My son and younger daughter love the games and also being in the water, but my middle daughter Julia is different. Julia is smart and creative,

but she’s also a sensitive and introverted little girl. She has friends at school, but isn’t as eager to play with her male cousins because they don’t have as much in common with her. Julia and her friends at school love playing pretend (they’ve created an entire imaginary world) and putting on shows (we now have her in theatre and ballet).

My four nephews and other two kids aren’t interested in these activities and enjoy running around and playing sports all day like Joe and his brothers did when they were kids. Julia, for whatever reason, just seems to have a different personality than the other kids in the family.

My daughter is also a huge bookworm and is completely hooked on the Goosebumps series. When I say hooked, I mean that she spends almost all of her free time reading these books and begs me to take her to the bookstore to buy more frequently. She loves telling me about the books she’s reading and has even started writing her own Goosebumps stories before bed.

I personally am happy that my daughter loves to read and is so creative, and I try to encourage her to pursue these interests. She’s definitely a bit “quirky” compared to my other two, but she’s being herself and pursuing her own interests which I love.

We got to the island on Thursday night and spent all day Friday and Saturday at the beach and are going to the pool today. Julia plays with her cousins at the house and talks to them at meals, but during the day, she just wants to sit next to me and read her books. I have encouraged her to swim for a little bit since we’re in Hawaii,

and she goes in the water for a few minutes, but then she asks if she can get back to her book. She’s played a few games with her cousins and siblings when I coax her, but again, she honestly just wants to be reading Goosebumps. Overall, when we’re at the beach, I’d say she spends 1/5 of the time playing and 4/5ths of the time reading.

She would probably spend the whole time reading if I didn’t encourage her to try other things for a little bit. My husband doesn’t see an issue with Julia spending the days reading. He says we’re on vacation and it’s about her having fun. He says if she wants to read on the beach all day, it’s her decision, and she’s at least getting some sun, having a blast,

and enriching her mind. I generally agree, although I do wish she’d swim a bit more since were in Hawaii and also spend more time with the other kids. This morning before breakfast, my MIL pulled my husband and I to the side and asked if we were going to let Julia bring her book to the pool today.

My husband said yes and my MIL asked us to reconsider. She said the trip is about family and Julia creating memories with her siblings and cousins. I told my MIL that Julia is very introverted and that she bonds with the other kids at the house, during meals, and for a bit at the beach, but she doesn’t need to be running around with them 24/7 to create happy memories.

My MIL then accused us of spoiling Julia, encouraging her to be anti-social, and teaching her that her individual desires are more important than being part of the group. My MIL also says her obsession with Goosebumps is unhealthy, and that Julia isn’t interested in talking about anything that isn’t related to fictional stories and characters.

She does talk about Goosebumps a lot, but my MIL is exaggerating a bit. This set off my husband, and he said that Julia has friends at school but has different interests than her cousins and siblings. He said he wants her to enjoy her vacation and if that means her reading all day, then he supports it as long as it’s not impacting the rest of the group.

The convo ended with me telling my MIL that Julia can bring her books to the pool and that I’m not going to force her to spend her trip doing things she’s not interested in. My MIL and FIL have spent the entire breakfast scowling at me and my husband.

At one point Julia started telling my MIL about her favorite Goosebumps book and my MIL said she isn’t interested in hearing anything else about Goosebumps. She also said that Julia should talk about things that interest other people as well, and Julia started asking her Grandma about the books she liked and tennis.

My husband told his mom not to parent his child in front of everyone, and it was very awkward. We’re about to head to the pool and I’m letting Julia bring her books, but I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing? I’m trying to find the balance between letting her enjoy the trip and also being part of the group? Any advice would be appreciated.

Vacations should recharge everyone, but for an introverted girl, family sports felt like a chore. Her mom’s choice to let her read honored her spirit, yet sparked a grandmother’s critique, labeling it selfish. Both sides dig in: Mom sees a creative soul thriving, while Grandma pushes for group bonding. The girl’s quiet reading became a loud statement in a family wired for competition.

Kids need space to be themselves. As child psychologist Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore notes, “Forcing introverted children into extroverted activities can backfire, lowering their confidence” (Psychology Today). The girl’s love for Goosebumps isn’t escape—it’s her way of engaging, weaving stories that light up her mind. Grandma’s push risks dimming that glow, misreading solitude as rejection.

This reflects a broader clash: society often prizes extroversion. A 2023 study found 50% of parents worry introverted kids miss out socially (Journal of Child Psychology). Yet, the girl connects—on her terms, at meals or in chats. Forcing more risks resentment, not memories. Reading enriches her, and that’s no small win.

Dr. Kennedy-Moore suggests balance: nudge gently toward group time, but protect solo passions. Mom’s coaxing her to swim shows she’s trying, and Grandma could join her world—maybe read a chapter together. Clear boundaries, like saying “we’re supporting her interests,” keep peace without bending. Nurturing her quirks now builds a confident future.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s crew crashed this beach drama like a lively luau, dishing out cheers, groans, and some fiery takes. Picture a bonfire circle where everyone’s tossing in their two cents, from fist-bumps to eyerolls, all while the waves roll in. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd, crackling with support and a pinch of shade:

GreatGollyGertie − Forcing a child to be social when they aren't ready will not allow for the confidence it requires to become truly social.. Villainizing a child for liking books is isolating and cruel, and straight up stupid.. MIL needs to buzz off. NtA

Turmeric_Ping − Let her be herself. She's introverted, being 'part of the group' is a bit much for her, so she reads her book. Good to see your husband isn't a mommy's boy and is standing up for his child.

No_Good_Turn − NTA. You and your husband can raise your child however you like. It's nice of the MIL/FIL to host you on vaca, but that doesn't give them the right to lord as tyrants and second guess your parenting decisions. Thank your MIL for her kindness but stand firm on your parenting decisions. Enjoy your time in paradise. NTA.

mwlnga − NTA maintain your parenting boundaries. Your kids are very fortunate to have both of you as their parents.

MimiLaMarais − NTA. Your daughter sounds like she's confident in herself and what she likes but your MIL and FIL sound like they're bullies. She's socializing on her terms (meal times, at the house, a bit at the beach) and has friends at school and hobbies she enjoys. She's also a literal kid and it's not like she's out there at 40 living in a fantasy world and refusing to work or something. NTA and you're an awesome parent for supporting your daughter.

Artistic_Reference_5 − Tell Julia she's a rockstar for how she accommodated grandma's request for a topic change instead of making it awkward.

Odd_Knowledge_2146 − Oh I don’t like your in laws! Do you know how hard it is being an introverted kid and being forced to socialise - even with your family, it is so so hard. Your daughter sounds interesting and smart. I spend a lot of my vacation time reading in the sunshine and relaxing.

I actively encourage my daughters to do the same - though they also like putting on shows for me! My eldest is now nearly 19, she was an introverted child that just loved skullduggery books, and lots of others, before she moved into autobiographies.

She is now doing an engineering apprenticeship and degree, and is enjoying paranormal romance books. Introverted, well read, well educated, and loving working in her engineering team. She is smart and resourceful.. Let your daughter read

RJack151 − NTA. Tell MIL that when Julia realizes what she is trying to force on her, that her relationship with your daughter may be irreparably harmed.

FishScrumptious − “I’m not comfortable with my granddaughter being herself if who she is is this different than who I am. Make her stop that, entirely, even if it hurts her.”. There, translated her nonsense so it’s obvious. Not that she’ll see it that way.. Why can’t she read a book with her granddaughter for a few more hours each day?

frozenbroccolis − NTA. I always find it interesting that there’s so much pressure on introverts to be extroverted however, nobody ever pushes extraverts to tone it down for the introverts. Excellent job standing up for your daughter, but I would seriously consider how much exposure you let her have to your in-laws. If they’re going to continue to be negative towards her and put her down for her interest this is definitely going to impact her long-term.

These Redditors rally hard—most back Mom for letting her girl shine, slamming Grandma’s shade as out-of-touch. Some see a kid thriving, others warn in-laws’ pressure could bruise her spirit. A few nod at family time but cheer the parents’ firm stand. Their voices light up the clash of quirks versus conformity, proving one book sparked a whole vibe.

Family trips are for making memories, not molding kids. A girl’s love for Goosebumps carved her own slice of paradise, even if it ruffled feathers. Her mom’s stand—backing her daughter’s heart over crowd-pleasing—shows love means letting kids bloom. This Reddit gem asks: what’s a vacation if you can’t be you? How would you navigate this family wave? Share below; let’s keep the aloha spirit flowing!

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