AITAH for hand picking my kids school schedules?

In a bustling high school office, a parent sifts through class schedules, tweaking periods and teachers to craft the perfect academic year for their kids. As a staff member, they’ve long enjoyed the perk of nudging their children’s electives like Drama and Esports into place, a task that feels like a victory lap until friends call it unfair. What seemed like a harmless advantage now stirs unease, as whispers of favoritism ripple through casual chats.

This Reddit tale dives into the murky waters of workplace perks and parental privilege. The OP, proud of securing their kids’ dream classes, faces backlash for leveraging their position in a way other parents can’t. With schedules reshuffled and class sizes stretched, the story sparks a debate about fairness, leaving readers to chew on the fine line between opportunity and overreach.

‘AITAH for hand picking my kids school schedules?’

I work in the office at the high school my kids go to. We are working on the schedules for next year. I don't make them or have anything to do with scheduling, but I am close with the people who do. So they have always allowed me to hand pick my kids schedules. My kids will be a junior and a senior.

Since the school is small, there is not a ton of options for what classes are offered each period, for example AP English 12 is only offered 1 period of the day. Normally when schedules don't work out due to conflicts with the classes the kids want, we will have a few days before the school year starts

in order to have the kids come in a pick new electives or whatever as the core classes always come first. This isn't too common because we do make them pick backups incase their first choices don't work out and if a backup is assigned then we won't change the schedule.

Yesterday, I was called in to the assistant principals office, saying neither of my kids schedules are working out, to help her figure out what I wanted to do with them. My senior is totally into Drama, she loves that class and has been in it since freshman year. With her core classes they kept bumping her from Drama.

So we had to take her out of AP English and put her in regular and then move her from regular Gov/Econ to AP. In order for her schedule to allow Drama. My juniors was a mess, he wanted a class called Esports, like this was his only real request.

We had to take him out of a special English class (basically it combined the History/English into a 2 period class instead of them being separate). We had to move his woods class to a different period and the assistant principal, had to add more room in a history class to get him in a certain period.

Then he couldn't take ceramics and had to go back into JROTC, and I wanted him with a certain teacher for Physics. In the end he got his Esports and all the classes he needed and the teachers I wanted. I was hanging out with some old friends of mine and just telling them about this. Just kind of mentioning what a PITA it was.

They said that I am kind of an AH because, the school wouldn't spend that much time on any other kid to make the schedule work and would have made the kid not take Esports or Drama. That I was taking advantage of the fact that I work there and my kids go there, they shouldn't have advantages due to that.

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I just see this as a perk of working at the school. Plus the assistant principal was willing to do it for me. So AITAH for taking advantage of the fact that I am able to hand pick my kids classes and teachers because I work at the school.

Hand-picking a child’s school schedule, as this parent did, taps into a perk that feels like a win but smells like favoritism. Ensuring a senior’s Drama class and a junior’s Esports slot required bending rules swapping AP courses, expanding class sizes, and cherry-picking teachers. While the assistant principal’s cooperation smoothed the process, the adjustments gave the OP’s kids an edge unavailable to peers, raising questions of equity.

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School scheduling often strains resources. A 2022 report by the National Education Association notes that 55% of U.S. high schools face overcrowding, making class size adjustments a zero-sum game. By enlarging a history class and dictating teacher assignments, the OP’s actions burdened educators and potentially displaced other students’ needs, amplifying perceptions of unfairness.

Dr. Sara Rimm-Kaufman, an education researcher, states, “Equity in schools hinges on transparent access to opportunities—special treatment undermines trust”. Here, the OP’s privilege, while not malicious, risks eroding community faith in the school’s impartiality. Bragging about it to friends further fanned resentment, as it highlighted an advantage others lack.

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To address this, the OP could advocate for transparent scheduling policies that prioritize student needs over connections. Discretion about such perks is crucial to avoid backlash. If adjustments are made, they should minimize impact on others, like avoiding class size increases. This story prompts reflection on how workplace advantages can skew fairness in education.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit users largely branded the OP YTA, criticizing the unfair advantage their kids received through schedule manipulation. They argued that expanding class sizes and hand-picking teachers crossed ethical lines, burdening educators and sidelining other students’ needs. Many saw the OP’s actions as nepotism, unavailable to parents without school ties.

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The community also slammed the OP for openly discussing the perk, calling it tone-deaf and risky. Some acknowledged that workplace benefits exist but urged discretion to avoid resentment. A few defended the OP’s intent to support their kids but stressed that such extensive interference, especially at others’ expense, was unjustifiable.

caffeinejunkie123 − At the very least keep it yo yourself and don’t brag about it to your other Mom friends.

accordingtotrena − I would be more concerned about the teacher finding out that you had their class size increased in order to fit in your kid.

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JKristiina − I am gonna go against the grain. NTA. When you work in a certain place, that might get you certain perks. Maybe you can get your child a summer job, maybe you can influence their hs schedules..

RoRoRoYourGoat − I think you were okay up until this point the assistant principal, had to add more room in a history class to get him in a certain period ... I wanted him with a certain teacher for Physics. You used your position to change the size of a class and then hand-pick a teacher. That's a step beyond making sure they get the classes they want.

Most schools are pretty clear about not letting parents pick teachers, and parents certainly don't get to change the size of a core class so that their kids can take their favorite elective. I'm kinda okay with making sure your kids get their first picks, but not if you have to play 4D chess with other people's schedules to do it.

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NewEllen17 − The part that I believe makes you an AH is that they added your son to an already full History class adding additional work to an already overworked History teacher all because he wants to Esports.

Lazuli_Rose − YTA for complaining about it. I'm sure all parents would love to 'hand pick' their kids school schedule and the teachers the parent wants. But it was such a 'PITA' for you.

And what your friends said was true they wouldn't spend that much time helping another child who was having issues getting the classes they wanted. You should be grateful that you can do this for your kids instead of acting like it was so much trouble for you.

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melancholypowerhour − You need to recognize that you get an incredible privilege that others need and are often denied. I was the kid who was failing math class 3 times over (I have a learning disability that was unable to be accommodated due to class sizes being too big)

and I wasn’t able to have my schedule adjusted to accommodate retaking the class as part of the school year. I did summer school 3 years in a row for math classes just to graduate high school. This isnt a reflection of my abilities, I am now working towards my masters and doing well since I have the needed support.

This situation was because of my high school not having the resources needed to support me. My parents couldn’t help me because they weren’t well connected and we were poor.. NTA for helping your kids, YTA big time for bragging / complaining about it.

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Positive-Ad-2643 − Im going with YTA: partially for getting your kids preferential treatment over their peers, and partially for being a helicopter parent. These aren’t young kids, they are a junior and senior in high school.

They are probably old enough to be driving. Are you going to arrange their schedules for them in college as well? They need to begin tackling these things for themselves now or they are going to be woefully underprepared in the future.

SpokenDivinity − Edit: changing to YTA. You’re kind of TA for complaining about the opportunity you were able to give your kids when there are literally no similar arrangements to be made for other parents.

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Take the opportunity if you want to, but be aware that the second you let yourself hype yourself up too hard to the wrong person, someone is going to pitch a fit and you’ll no longer have those options and could potentially lose your job.

I would not be spreading around info about participating in the nepotism. Nothing would make parents start pulling their kids out like learning that faculty members can make sure their kids get everything they want without a fraction of the effort for others.

Federal-Ferret-970 − YTA for openly talking about the preferential treatment your kids are getting. Yes its a perk. But if you continue to talk about it that perk will be taken away when someone starts grumbling to the right people.

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This high school scheduling saga stirs a spicy debate about privilege and fairness. The OP’s knack for crafting their kids’ perfect schedules, a perk of their job, feels like a flex until friends cry foul, exposing the cost to others. Have you ever leveraged a workplace advantage for family? Share your take where’s the line between perk and unfair play?

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