AITAH for dropping out as a bridesmaid after the Bride made me feel humiliated?

In a softly lit dress shop, a 24-year-old woman stood vulnerable, her body altered by chemotherapy, hoping for a moment of joy as a bridesmaid for her longtime friend April. Their 15-year friendship, forged in childhood gymnastics, promised a shared milestone—until a dress fitting turned into a public humiliation. April’s stinging words about her weight, dismissing the effects of cancer treatment, shattered the moment, leaving the woman reeling from betrayal.

The dinner that followed, meant to celebrate April’s upcoming wedding, became a stage for cruelty. A harsh comment about pasta and a “whale” jab exposed April’s lack of empathy, pushing the woman to drop out as a bridesmaid. This Reddit story dives into the pain of body-shaming and the courage to walk away, pulling readers into a raw clash of friendship and insensitivity.

‘AITAH for dropping out as a bridesmaid after the Bride made me feel humiliated?’

I, 24F, have been friends with ‘April’, 27F, for close to 15 years now. We met at gymnastics as kids and formed a close bond. It seemed natural for us that I would be a bridesmaid just as we had always planned. The wedding was delayed a lot due to covid and then I received big news.

When I was diagnosed with cancer I was lucky that we caught it early so I had surgery followed by chemotherapy.. April was supportive throughout all this, she made appointments for dress shopping to fit around my schedule.

When we picked the bridesmaids dresses April said she would be paying for them and alterations, she said it was her way of thanking us for being there for her. We chose to buy mine a size up from what I wore because chemo could cause weight gain. Unfortunately I’ve had to go through more rounds than first predicted.

Three weeks ago we went to a fitting and my dress wouldn’t close. I was embarrassed, I didn’t want to leave the changing room but April talked me into coming out as the other girls hadn’t seen me try it on and they were excited.

II came out and explained the problem to April, apologised and offered to pay her back for the dress and to pay for the alterations to make it fit. All that needed doing was for it to be let out, it had been taken in at my previous fitting before I had more chemo.

The seamstress said that it was easy to do and that it wouldn’t damage the dress as we had bought a size bigger in the first place. I thought everything was fine until we went out for dinner with a few of our friends to celebrate it getting closer to the wedding.

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When I ordered a pasta April gave me a strange look then made a comment about how it was no wonder I didn’t fit into the dress and how I couldn’t just say the weight gain was from the chemo.

I was in shock about it and didn’t know what to do then when someone told her it was a horrible thing to say she started saying I would ruin her wedding pictures and it was already bad enough that she had to buy a size 10 dress just so I would fit into it and now her pictures would be ruined by a ‘whale who can’t stop stuffing their face’.

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I didn’t think it was fair as I’ve been on a diet ever since my diagnosis to combat any weight gain from my treatment and I lost it. I did raise my voice, I told her that I can’t believe anyone could be as cold

and heartless as to say that and considering how she’s been there throughout this whole thing the only conclusion I could make was that she’s a narcissist who should be given an Oscar for her acting talents. I said not to worry about the pictures because I wouldn’t be there at all

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and that I’m glad she can’t get a refund on the dress then told her fiancé he should just contact a divorce lawyer now to save time because it would be sad to be stuck with her then I left. I’ve been told I was harsher than needed and shouldn’t drop out this close to the wedding but I don’t see why I should have to be there after I was humiliated.. AITAH?

This heartbreaking story reveals the sting of betrayal when a friend’s cruelty targets someone battling cancer. The woman’s decision to quit as a bridesmaid was a stand against body-shaming, especially cruel given her chemotherapy-induced weight changes. April’s comments, dismissing medical realities and mocking her appearance, reflect a lack of empathy that shattered trust.

Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor on vulnerability, states, “Shame is a soul-eating emotion, particularly when it comes from someone we trust” . April’s public attack weaponized shame, ignoring the woman’s struggle and prioritizing superficial wedding aesthetics. Her fixation on a size 10 dress as “ruining” photos reveals a distorted view of body image, amplifying the hurt.

Body-shaming, especially during illness, is a growing concern. A 2021 study by the National Cancer Institute found 40% of cancer patients face stigma over physical changes, impacting mental health . April’s behavior mirrors this, undermining her friend’s resilience. The woman’s fiery response, though sharp, was a defense of her dignity.

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For those facing similar insensitivity, setting boundaries is key—whether by confronting the behavior or stepping away, as she did. Support groups or therapy can help process such betrayals. This story urges readers to prioritize empathy, especially for those navigating health challenges, and to challenge toxic beauty standards that harm relationships.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit users rallied behind the woman, condemning April’s cruel remarks as heartless, especially toward someone fighting cancer. They praised her for standing up for herself, with many calling April’s body shaming narcissistic and urging her to cut contact.

Some noted the groom’s silence as a red flag, while others sent support for her treatment, emphasizing that no one should endure such humiliation. The community’s outrage reflects a shared disdain for insensitivity and a call for compassion.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. F**k that, that's not something you say to someone *regardless* of cancer or chemo. That's f**ked.

Kirstemis − NTA. She was cruel and rude, and also very very wrong if she thinks a size 10 is anything like fat.

PeteyPorkchops − NTA. Slow clap. You go girl.

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literallyrosie − NTA They are definitely not a true friend. Size shouldn’t matter. I’m sorry your being treated like that. Drop them immediately

princessofdamnation − NTA. 1. What kind of friend fat-shames her own friend. She worried about her weddind photo, what is her problem with how you look and eat? 2. How can you say those things to a friend that has cancer and goes to chimo.

Not only that the weight changes because of the treatment, but her whole appearance.. 3. Good advice for the groom. I say your friend is the MEGA AH. I hope you get well soon and don't feel guilty for her, she dug her own grave with her words. Edit: wow thanks for the award. First time getting one.

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witcher_rat − You're NTA, for both your response and dropping out of the wedding.. Once the 'whale' line came out, turning into a shark seems reasonable to me. And you shouldn't be in a wedding party with someone who says that about you. Tell them to have a whale of a time.

[Reddit User] − NTA. my brother gained 30+ lbs during cancer and no one mentioned his weight gain. *wonder why /s* heads up: April will try to get you back in the wedding party after people hear about the comments she made at dinner.  keep her blocked. or she’ll lie about what happened, but thankfully there were witnesses. what a garbage bag human.. sending encouragement re: your treatment.

nznomad42 − NTA. And she thinks a size 10 is big? WTF is wrong with her?. Well done for saying what you said!

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TheAuntMingy − NTA As someone undergoing chemo, I’m sending you hugs. The fact you have an appetite is awesome! Cancer sucks, and your friend is no friend. I’m sending you all my best wishes, because your weight will fluctuate. You’ve got this!

DifferentZucchini3 − NTA that’s a disgusting comment to make. What did the finance say?

This story of a shattered friendship exposes the deep wounds of body-shaming, especially amidst a cancer battle. The woman’s bold exit from the wedding party sparked a conversation about loyalty, empathy, and standing up to cruelty. How would you respond to a friend’s betrayal during a health crisis? Share your thoughts below and let’s explore this emotional journey together!

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