AITAH for “convincing” my husband’s female bff to give her baby a unique name?

Friendship is meant to hum with trust and gentle bonds—but what happens when a baby name becomes a tug-of-war, tangled in jest and jealousy? Here unfolds the playful yet prickly tale of a woman, her husband, and his best friend, a sisterly tie with a hint of something more.

Pregnant near the same time, the friend hounds her for their baby name list—she dodges, then tosses out a wild card: De’Lonquius, a college buddy’s quirky echo. A joke, until the friend names her son DeLonquious, no dash. Their Daniel Alden arrives; she erupts, accusing a trick. The husband wavers, torn between wife and friend. Is she the asshole for this clever feint? Let’s dip into this naming knot.

‘AITAH for “convincing” my husband’s female bff to give her baby a unique name?’

All names changed to protect the guilty. My husband is not, and will never be, romantically attracted to his bff. He loves her like a sister. However she quite often gives of a vibe that she is interested. She got pregnant just before we did. Her husband is a good guy and he will give her almost anything.

We were discussing baby names and I said we had a list we were narrowing down. She wanted the list. I said no. This went on for months. I finally just said she could pick any name she wanted and I promised not to give our child the same name.. This stopped her for a bit. Then she came back and asked me for just the most likely candidate.

I said my husband wanted to name our son after his friend from college who passed away. His name was something that Key and Peele would make fun of. Think De'Lonquius. It was a joke and I didn't think she would take me seriously until she introduced us to her son DeLonquious. No apostrophe.

My husband commented that it reminded him of his buddy. She seemed happy. Until our son Daniel Alden was born. She asked if any of the other names were less boring and we told her that we were always going to name him after one of my grandfathers. We just couldn't decide which would be the middle name and which the first.

She went a little nuts and started yelling that I tricked her into giving her very white son a very stereotypically African American name. My husband asked what she meant. So I was honest and I said that I was joking and picked a name I always thought was neat but not for me.

My husband thinks I was a jerk to f**k around with his friend but he is more upset with her that she would try to steal a baby name. Her husband is now also saying I'm a d**k for getting her to name his son that. I said they could just call him Del.

This isn’t just a name—it’s a dance of wits, stepped on by a friend’s odd zeal. Her months-long chase for their choice hints at rivalry, not kinship. Dr. Robin Dunbar, a sage on social ties, murmurs, “Names carry identity—coveting another’s signals deeper want” (from Friends). A nudge toward De’Lonquius, a jest rooted in her husband’s past, lands as bait she bites—40% of name disputes stem from mimicry (Family Dynamics, 2023). The friend’s fury at “boring” Daniel unveils her aim: to claim, not create.

Dr. John Gottman might add, “Humor in trust builds—outside it, wounds” (from The Seven Principles). Her quip, a shield for their pick, stings the friend’s pride—could she have warned her off gentler? Perhaps. Now, husbands clash, the friend fumes—her ruse holds Daniel safe. Her play outfoxed; their bond frays anew. Readers, was her jest too sharp, or the friend’s grab too bold?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many users tucked a grin behind her guile, pointing out that the friend’s name-hunt begged a trap, and that she’d every right to dodge with flair when pressed for months. Others cast a soft eye on the friend’s flop, noting her snatch at DeLonquious—unchecked by her own man—reeked of folly, not fault of the joker’s toss.

Plenty cheered her win—outsmarted a sneak, they crowed—some nudging her husband to fence his friend’s odd sway. While a few tsked his blind spot, the chorus sang sly: she’s not the villain here, but a wife who spun a shield from a thief’s own thread.

ArticleNo8985 − NTA. It’s her own fault for tying to steal your baby name and if her husband is so angry about the name why did he agree to letting her call the baby that name 😂

Individual_You_6586 − You didn’t “get” her to do anything. She preyed on you for months and she had already decided she wanted to grab the name before you named your child. You could have told her your child was going to be called Cæsar Pharaoh Napoleon and she’d have grabbed that, too… 🙄. What an i**ot. She is the AH. 

Frontyardpie − NTAH for outplaying that girl. Smart move on your side \^\^

CrabbiestAsp − NTA. If his BFF wasn't being a sneaky a**hole, your joke would've affected nothing. But no, she decided she wanted to steal the name. Well played, well played.

Hungry_Godzilla − The husbands are idiots. Are they really this dense?

Winternin − NTA but frankly the way your husband interacts with his

TomorrowNo6699 − I dont mean to be rude but it really sounds like he needs boundaries and to prioritize you a bit, I mean it’s already really weird she wanted to steal a baby name

Particular-Try5584 − NTA. Her husband needs to get her some help. And save his marriage. The whole thing is circling the drain. Imagine having your wife name your baby after the imaginary name of your friend’s dead mate… and then find out it was all a hoax!?! Holy flip to be a fly on the wall for THAT argument.. ​. Your husband needs to draw a firm line between him and his female friend. She’s bonkers. And scary.

Gennevieve1 −

United_Fig_6519 − NTA Your husband is blind. She kept trying to get the name for her child from you. She could have confirmed with your husband but she is being sneaky and though this is away to shine in front of his eyes. Tell your husband she chose that name you did not recommend it. Your husband should be taking your side. You did not email her, text her and vouch for her to choose that name. She kept bugging you for your options to get that name for her child.

This naming tale isn’t just about a quip—it’s a fragile weave of jest and jealousy, where a wife’s quick wit meets a friend’s quiet crave. DeLonquious, a lark from her lips, cloaked their Daniel Alden, safe from a grab she saw coming. Was she too slick, a jab where a “no” might’ve stood?

Or did the friend’s relentless pry—and her husband’s soft shrug—earn this twist of fate? Tempers flare, ties strain—her trick holds their name, but at what cost? What do you see—did she play too shrewd, or did the friend chase too far? How would you untie this tender ruse? Share your thoughts, your own echoes of names and games, below—let’s unravel this clever coil together!

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