AITAH for canceling a trip because my fiancé ex and her baby are coming?

Picture this: you’re dreaming of a sun-soaked Mexico getaway, margarita in hand, with your fiancé and his adorable son. But then, like an uninvited seagull swooping in on your beach picnic, your fiancé’s ex-wife announces she’s tagging along with her toddler. This is the reality for one woman, caught in a whirlwind of blurred boundaries and family drama. Her frustration is palpable—she just wants one vacation without her fiancé’s ex-wife stealing the spotlight. Can you blame her?

The situation escalates as she puts her foot down, canceling the trip altogether, sparking a heated debate about co-parenting, respect, and personal space. Her story, shared on Reddit, has drawn a crowd of supporters and skeptics, all weighing in on whether she’s right to demand a break from her fiancé’s overly cozy ex. Let’s dive into this messy tale of love, loyalty, and a vacation gone awry.

‘AITAH for canceling a trip because my fiancé ex and her baby are coming?’

I ( f , 32) have been with Kyle ( m , 37) for 2.5 years . We got engaged 6 months ago . Kyle has been divorced for over 5 years ago . He was married to Elena ( F, 37). They have a son, Greyson ( M, 8). Elena has a toddler from a guy she met after her divorce and dated briefly Ella (2.5 ,f). Greyson is a wonderful little kid .

He has his room in our house and he Is so loved by all of us . Kyle and elena Are good friends and coparenting Great . The problem I have is she is everywhere ! Beside the holidays and birthdays which I understand ( Christmas , Greyson birthday , thanksgiving),

Elena and her Baby are pretty much invited to any family functions such as Kyle’s birthday , Kyle’s parents anniversary, my birthday ( yes ! Kyle invited her to my birthday) , our camping trips,..) . I have talked to Kyle many times but he thinks I’m being insecure for no reason and making a big deal about nothing !

I booked a trip to Mexico for January for me, Kyle and Greyson . Kyle told Elena that on the last week of January we will have Greyson for extra week since he is coming with us to Mexico . Apparently Elena managed to ask him about our trip dates , details . I saw on Facebook she was posting about swimsuit shopping for her upcoming trip .

Kyle texted her and asked Her if she is going somewhere that week too . She said she researched our hotel and “I took advantage of the same deal as you guys ! So I guess we will see you there haha”. I told Kyle then we are cancelling the trip he said he can’t because tickets are non refundable!

I told him then I’m not going ! I want for once have a family vacation without his ex wife ! I want a family vacation without his ex-wife, but Kyle thinks there's nothing we can do now. We need to address this for future plans and be more clear about boundaries.

Navigating a blended family can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield, especially when boundaries blur. This woman’s frustration stems from her fiancé Kyle’s inability to separate co-parenting from personal space. On one side, Kyle sees his ex-wife Elena’s presence as harmless, a testament to their stellar co-parenting for their son Greyson. On the other, his fiancée feels sidelined, her dream of an intimate family vacation crushed by Elena’s surprise booking.

This clash highlights a broader issue: the delicate balance of co-parenting dynamics. According to a 2023 study from Family Psychology (linked here), 68% of blended families report tension over unclear boundaries with ex-partners. Kyle’s dismissal of his fiancée’s concerns as “insecurity” risks eroding trust, while Elena’s omnipresence—showing up at birthdays and vacations—crosses into intrusive territory.

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Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes in a 2024 Psychology Today article (linked here), “Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and clear boundaries, especially in blended families.” Kyle’s failure to set limits with Elena disregards his fiancée’s emotional needs. The solution? Open communication and firm boundaries. The couple should agree on events where Elena’s presence isn’t warranted, like their private vacations. Counseling could help Kyle see his fiancée’s perspective, fostering a united front.

For now, the woman might consider rescheduling the trip to a different destination, keeping details private to avoid Elena’s interference. This move could reclaim her space while reinforcing the need for boundaries.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. From cheers for the woman’s stand to raised eyebrows at Kyle’s cluelessness, the comments are a lively barbecue of opinions. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

boredathome1962 − NTA. There's good co-parenting, and there's this. It's nice that they are friends, that they, and you, are great with Greyson. But you not getting any alone time will drive you apart. And Elena is revelling in it. Elena is a single mom, and probably wants to get back with Kyle... This isn't right, your BF is not looking after you properly, he needs to buck up, or this will not work for you and Kyle.

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bdayqueen − NTA - I'd tap out of this relationship when he invited her to YOUR birthday!! That's some BS. Either she changes her plans or you cancel yours and break up with him.

RaymondBeaumont − Just so you know, he invited her.

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Simitarx005 − I’m not sure why you want to stay in this very bizarre relationship. He invited her to your BIRTHDAY. So many red flags. I’m not sure which of you or him are the most clueless. I’m betting on you. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Time to move on and find a man who is for you and your little group. I’m surprised that you have lasted this long being the side piece.

Sea_Firefighter_4598 − NTA. Kyle told her all the details of your trip, so many in fact that she was able to book the same deal. That is all you need to know. Cancel the vacation. The only one who escaped is the toddler's dad, maybe follow his lead. I do not know how you were able put up with this nonsense for so long.

Madame_Kitsune98 − Why are you with this guy again? I know it can’t be because he’s that good in bed. No way in hell.. Or maybe he is, and that’s why his ex is still into him, he’s got her dickmatized, too. You don’t have kids with Mr. Have My Cake And Eat It Too, you can walk away. I would strongly suggest doing so. Because they’re not just coparenting, he’s banging her.

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tuna_tofu − NTA-Dont cancel, RESCHEDULE. Pick a different week. Dont tell her until you have already left.

anroar1 − You are in a threesome apparently either get used to it or find another guy

Casper13B1981 − She's treating him as her boyfriend. I bet he still does small jobs for her....they may not be having s** but they have more than a friendship/parenting together. Why does he want her at all events? Because he still sees her a some form of female that need a him. He subconsciously enjoys that she needs him.

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ShyexGI − NTA, absolutely not. See if you can change the tickets instead of canceling the whole trip. You may have to pay extra but go to another city or close country. If not, change your hotel to a sister hotel on the other side of the country and don't tell anyone about the changes. You can still have a family vacation without the ex.

His ex also needs to be put on an information diet. Yes, she needs to know when her son is leaving the country, but no, she doesn't need details. Grayson is with his dad, not some deranged stranger. I'd even give her mis information on specific details, but I'm petty like that! Why the hell have you let her get away with being the third wheel in your relationship?

Coming to YOUR birthday party, invited to camping trips, inviting herself on YOUR vacations. She does this bs because no one tells her NO. YOU must sit your boyfriend down and establish clear boundaries with consequences for her. He would NEVER be okay if your ex was so entangled in your personal relationship.

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You can't do or say anything about her being at his family's events, but your bf needs to put an end to her being around when just the two of you (or three when he has his son) are together. If he is unwilling or unable to stop including his ex in your relationship, you may need to re-evaluate if this is how you want to live your life.

He will always prioritize his ex over you. She will be at your engagement party, wedding, baby shower, YOUR child's recital, etc. Your bf is disregarding and disrespecting you by calling you insecure. No one would be comfortable with this! Sis, shut this bs down now! Be prepared to walk away and move on with your life if your bf refuses to have your back. Good luck!

These Redditors rallied behind her, slamming Kyle’s boundary-blindness and Elena’s audacity. Some urged a trip reschedule, others a full relationship exit. But do their fiery takes capture the whole picture, or are they just fanning the drama?

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This tale of a canceled trip underscores the messy reality of blended families, where good intentions can clash with personal boundaries. The woman’s stand for a private vacation isn’t just about Mexico—it’s about carving out space in a relationship crowded by an ex. Kyle’s loyalty to his co-parenting bond is admirable, but without balance, it risks alienating his fiancée. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your stories and advice below—let’s keep the conversation going!

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