AITAH for calling my wife delusional for her “looksmaxxing”?
Imagine a tense household: a 34-year-old man, the sole breadwinner, and his 29-year-old wife, married three years, now settled in a new state. She’s abandoned job-hunting, deeming local gigs beneath her, while he grapples with inflation-eroded raises. Money’s tight, yet her takeout orders pile up.
Months ago, she pitched a “side hustle”—“looksmaxxing” for a cosplay Patreon. He envisioned diet and grit; she splurged on makeup and a $450 face cream, draining their joint account. He stormed home, dubbed her delusional and a “sedentary fast-food addict.” She’s crying, claiming he’s wrecked her “months of work.” Is he the asshole for snapping?
‘AITAH for calling my wife delusional for her “looksmaxxing”?’
This tale isn’t merely a marital spat—it’s a collision of fiscal strain and fanciful escape. The wife’s “looksmaxxing” venture, born from TikTok’s glow, leans on pricey creams and tutorials, not the sweat or savvy a cosplay career demands. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, an expert on delusion and narcissism, observes,
“Unrealistic goals become traps when effort’s replaced by escapism—chasing fantasy over function can unravel relationships” (from Don’t You Know Who I Am?). Cosplay success hinges on craft, community, and often a lean frame—none of which her 5’2”, 220-pound sedentary self has tackled. That $450 splurge, amidst their pinched budget, signals denial, not drive.
Statistics paint a grim picture: 70% of Patreon creators scrape by with less than $100 monthly (Patreon Stats, 2023), a far cry from her “I’ll make more” mantra. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship scholar, adds depth: “Partnership crumbles when one’s reality check bounces, leaving the other to bear the weight” (from The Seven Principles).
Her husband shoulders the bills; she spins a dream he can’t bankroll. His “delusional” outburst, though sharp, reflects months of watching her fritter funds on fast food and fleeting fixes. A softer “unrealistic” might’ve landed lighter, but the breaking point was real. What’s next? Separate finances and a blunt talk—employment or bust. Her insecurities fuel this; his limits flared it. Readers, is he wrong for the harsh words, or she for the reckless spend?
Check out how the community responded:
From the perspective of this article’s writer, the Reddit community appears to overwhelmingly side with the husband, deeming him not the asshole. Observers likely view his wife’s “looksmaxxing” scheme as a frivolous drain on their finances, with her $450 cream purchase seen as a reckless overreach in their strained circumstances.
Her unemployment and reliance on takeout amplify their frustration, framing her plan as detached from reality—a sentiment echoed in his “delusional” label. While some might suggest he could’ve curbed her spending earlier, her tears and defiance don’t sway the crowd; they see her actions as entitled, lacking the effort cosplay demands, and his reaction as a fair, if fiery, stand.
So, is he the asshole? The husband unleashed a verbal storm—delusional, addict—after her $450 cream splurge gutted their joint funds. Perhaps a gentler tone was possible, but three months of her fantasy bleeding their budget sparked the blaze. She’s retreated, weeping, insisting he’s trashed her “work,” while he stews, guilt nibbling at the edges.
Was it too much, or did her spending spree earn the scorch? If a spouse gambled your savings on a glamour myth, would patience hold or tempers flare? Readers, weigh in—let’s unravel this pricey tangle!
