AITAH for asking my husband why the cameras don’t work, when he’s home alone?

In a cozy new home filled with the chatter of kids and the hum of daily life, a 38-year-old woman expected her security cameras to keep things simple—watching the kids, checking the garage, no big deal. But when those cameras mysteriously glitch only when her husband’s home alone, her curiosity sparks a tense showdown. What starts as a technical hiccup spirals into a question of trust, leaving her wondering if she’s the one stirring the pot. Readers, brace yourselves for a domestic mystery that’s as relatable as it is puzzling.

The air thickens with unspoken doubts as she screenshots error messages and sends them to her work-from-home husband, hoping for clarity. His fiery response catches her off guard, turning a simple question into a heated debate. With a healthy marriage and no major red flags, why does this small issue feel so big? Dive into this Reddit tale that’s got everyone talking about trust, tech, and the tricky dance of communication in love.

‘AITAH for asking my husband why the cameras don’t work, when he’s home alone?’

Recently married and combined households by moving in together. Great relationship, healthy s** life, good communication. I (38F) have a few cameras around the house for security and to communicate with the kiddos that don't have cell phones yet, but mainly to see when my kids get home from school.

I could care less about the cameras most any other time. I had these (and more) at my old house but I've only set up three so far at the new house. The new house also came with a ring door bell camera. My husband (43M) is WFH. The first few weeks in the house were fine.

No hiccups or glitches with the cameras. The ring door bell worked like a champ at every slight bit of movement. The first week he was solo in the house and the first day the kids go off to school, when they come home, through the front door, there is no ring notification.

The time line glitches as if the shots were deleted. He is the main Ring account holder, I'm shared, I can't delete anything. That evening I mentioned it and he gets defensive, so I initially dropped it. I wouldn't have married him if I didn't trust him, I was just curious on what happened.

Later, we talked it over and I explained that I didn't think he did something malicious but something definitely happened. Agreed to move past it. I decided to just take notes on when I noticed the 'gliches.' It has happened a few more times and always on days that's he's been at home, alone.

Every so often I've asked one of the kids what he's doing when they got home and most of the time he was playing video games or in a work meeting. Today around 2, I go to check the garage camera to see if he's left the garage open, which he does frequently and we end up with exorbitant power bills.

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So I remind him to shut the door. I get the error 'live view failed.' I try the front of the garage, same error. I screen shot and send them to him asking if he knows why they aren't working.. He loses his s**t. Starts saying I'm accusing him of hiding things. Now I don't THINK he's cheating. We have a healthy s** life, we typically communicate, but I just don't understand.

The cameras work great, when he isn't home alone. He has access to the cameras, just as I have access to the ring. If he isn't hiding anything and not messing with the cameras, why the defense? I didn't ask what he was doing but I did insinuate that I thought he had something to do with it.

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Update:  This got a lot more traction than I ever expected it would. Thank you to everyone who has commented and given me your opinion. It is been greatly appreciated. I don't think I will ever be able to get through all of the comments but what your comments did give me was a harsh sense of borderline toxic reality.

I want to shout out to the IT guys that mentioned bandwidth, which is probably our problem since he's video gaming when I am trying to see the cameras.. Also yes these are ring and blink cameras which are known to glitch. All in all I trust my husband isn't doing anything to affect the cameras nor do I think he's having anybody over to the house.

I'm not going to set up a nanny cam or any other camera in the house because I do not feel the need to monitor his every movement. Which a lot of you are concerned about. That's not why the cameras are there and if he felt that way I'd take them down immediately.

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For those of you that said that he was getting defensive because his wife was making crazy claims against him are 100% correct. For those comments, I greatly thank you because it helped me see that I was a little bit of the AH.

Trust in a marriage can feel like a tightrope walk when small glitches—like malfunctioning cameras—cast big shadows. This couple’s story highlights how seemingly minor issues can snowball into doubts if communication falters. The wife’s questions about the cameras are reasonable, but her husband’s defensiveness creates a rift. According to marriage counselor Dr. John Gottman, “Trust is built in the smallest moments, not just the big ones” (source: The Gottman Institute). His research shows that defensiveness often signals a deeper need for validation, which may explain the husband’s reaction.

The wife’s suspicion, while natural, risks escalating without open dialogue. Her husband’s perspective, shared in a comment, reveals he feels accused without evidence, which stings deeply. This clash reflects a broader issue: technology can amplify mistrust when intentions aren’t clear. A 2021 study by Pew Research found 41% of Americans have experienced tech-related conflicts in relationships (source: Pew Research Center). Here, the cameras symbolize security but also vulnerability when they fail.

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Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes “turning toward” your partner—acknowledging their feelings before problem-solving. The wife could approach her husband calmly, framing questions as curiosity rather than accusation. For him, addressing the camera issue transparently, perhaps by troubleshooting together, could rebuild trust. Checking settings like geofencing, as one Redditor suggested, or upgrading the router might resolve the technical glitch. Openness and teamwork are key to keeping small doubts from growing into big divides.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s got some spicy takes on this tech-tinged drama—grab your popcorn! Here’s what the community had to say, with all the candor and wit you’d expect from the internet’s finest armchair detectives.

JeffInVancouver − 'Hey honey, there's something wrong with the cameras. Have you noticed anything?'. 'I'm not cheating! What's wrong with you!?!'. NTA

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ScarletDarkstar − No, NTA, but he is for shutting down any conversation about it and making no efforts to resolve the problem. If he wants you to continue to trust him, he needs to face this issue. His behavior is highly questionable, and I'm sure he feel differently if the shoe was on the other foot.

PrincessPindy − Having s** does not mean he isn't cheating. Having a healthy s** life does not preclude cheating. Sad but true. I've shockingly seen it before.

HannahLeah1987 − Could he have lost his job and is hiding it?

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Fun-Yellow-6576 − NTA. I’d be adding a camera or two that only I had access to just to see what’s going on.

[Reddit User] − NTA It sounds like you handled the situation perfectly and you have done your due diligence. The part you probably don't want to here is that your husband is almost certainly up to something and it might be time to stop trying to figure out what's going on with the cameras and start to wonder what's going on with your husband.

bazjack − I find this all a little suspicious but I feel compelled to say: We have a Ring doorbell that started glitching like that. I tried lots of things and finally, for that and some other reasons, decided to update our router. That completely fixed all our Ring issues. If you have an old router, maybe get a new one?. Good luck with whatever happens. NTA.

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Browncoat86 − HELLO EVERYONE, OP'S HUSBAND HERE. She did not simply ask me what was going on and then I blew up. She sent the screenshots and asked why they weren't working. I said 'I don't know', because I don't. (I honestly have no clue why Ring footage disappears sometimes or why the cameras go down.

If anyone has any input or what I should be looking at, I'm very open to any advice. I want to figure this out and move on.) Her response was 'I'd appreciate it if you'd quit f**king with them to begin with.' And that, my friends, is when I got defensive. She didn't offer any advice on what to check to get it back, she just kept hammering on the fact that it HAD to be me.

And I will admit, it pushed me over the edge. I love my wife VERY much and to have these accusations thrown at me with absolutely no way of defending myself hurt deeply. We have spoken and will work through this. I'd also like to reiterate that I am okay with her cameras in the house.

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She does not monitor me all day or harass me via the cam(yes, that has been an issue for me with other people) and I understand why having them makes her feel better about things. If anyone can tell me how to get them back online(or any troubleshooting tips) when they go down I would greatly appreciate it.

woahwoah33 − I mean, he’s got to know that deleting the footage is suspicious.

richelu − If it's Ring maybe geofence is enabled so when his phone is in range the cameras snooze. It's possible he set it up without understanding what he was doing.

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These Reddit hot takes range from tech tips to trust warnings, but do they nail the truth? Or are they just fanning the flames of suspicion?

This tale of glitching cameras and heated exchanges reminds us how quickly trust can wobble when tech and emotions collide. The wife’s not wrong to ask questions, but her husband’s defensiveness shows there’s more to unpack. With a bit of patience and open conversation, they might just debug their marriage alongside those cameras. What would you do if you were in her shoes—trust your gut or give the benefit of the doubt? Share your thoughts below!

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