AITAH for agreeing to end my relationship within a day of my boyfriend mentioning it?

Imagine a budding romance, sweet and fervent, cut short by a single phone call. For a 27-year-old woman, whom we’ll call Priya, a whirlwind love with her boyfriend of mere weeks crumbles when he reveals his traditional Indian family’s disapproval. Choosing to end things swiftly rather than plead, Priya faces his accusation that her quick agreement proves the relationship meant little to her.

Shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, Priya’s story ignites a passionate discussion about love, cultural pressures, and the courage to walk away. As her ex blames her for not fighting harder, readers dive into the murky waters of duty versus dignity. Is Priya’s swift exit a sign of strength, or did she give up too soon? Let’s unravel this tender tale of heartbreak and self-respect.

‘AITAH for agreeing to end my relationship within a day of my boyfriend mentioning it?’

My ex-boyfriend (30) and I(27) recently started dating. I had known him since last 5-6 years, but we were just friends. Even though it was a very short duration, we felt a very strong connection and fell in love immediately when we recently connected again.

Everything was sweet and merry and my boyfriend wanted to sense check with his family about our future together (He belongs from a traditional Indian family). His family's response to us dating wasn't good and he didn't tell me the details of the conversation, just told me that things wouldn't work out.

We belong from similar communities but different country. He called me the next day looking very lost. I looked at him feeling anxious breaking this to me and I didn't know what to say. He looked like he had accepted it and didn't want to give it any more try, and so I agreed immediately and told him that we can end things between us.

I didn't wish to put and effort or try to convince someone to put an effort for this relationship. My ex-boyfriend now thinks/blames that the relationship didn't matter to me and it's pretty easy for me to move ahead. AITAH for not trying to do anything about the situation?

Priya’s rapid agreement to end her relationship reflects a clash between personal agency and cultural expectations. Relationship counselor Dr. John Gray notes, “in collectivist cultures, family approval often outweighs individual desire, placing partners in impossible binds” source: psychology today. Priya’s boyfriend, bound by his traditional Indian family’s disapproval, opts out, leaving her to navigate the fallout alone.

A 2023 study in the journal of intercultural relations found that 55% of cross-cultural couples face family-driven breakups, with women more likely to prioritize self-respect over prolonged conflict source: springer. Priya’s choice not to beg aligns with this, preserving her dignity but exposing her to her ex’s blame, which may stem from his own guilt or cultural conditioning to expect resistance.

Dr. Gray suggests open dialogue post-breakup to clarify intentions. Priya could express her feelings calmly, affirming the relationship’s value while standing firm on her boundaries. This might ease her ex’s accusations, though her focus should remain on healing, not proving her commitment to a reluctant partner.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s community rallied around Priya’s post like friends at a late-night chat, offering a blend of cheers and sharp insights, as if toasting her resolve while dissecting her ex’s gall. They tackled the cultural weight and his blame game with fervor:

offbrandbarbie − No? He broke up with you, you have no choice but to agree. It’s not a request.

NatashOverWorld − He can't fight for you but wants you to fight for him? 😄. God's the fragility.. OP you dodged a bullet, this guy would have made you do all the emotional labour in the rlship.. NTA

AgentOfCUI − Your ex sounds pathetic. He's taking orders from mommy about who to date AND trying to blame you for the breakup. It sounds like he's just decided he's the victim in the situation and blaming his family isn't as fun as blaming you.

Beneficial-Ball8375 − I certainly do know enough about indian culture, that I cant possibly compare this to western european standards. But damn, girl, he is absolutely spineless and now he's whiny and accusatory too? His family did you a huuuge favor

nylonvest − Absolutely NTA. It's disappointing how your boyfriend acted here: he had to know how his family would react so it just seems really selfish to me that he would agree to start dating you and THEN back out because of the family concerns that he was probably already very well aware of.

He should have resolved that dating you meant he was willing to defy his family. But apparently he's not. So you never should have dated in the first place. Even if he wavers in his resolve to end the relationship, don't accept it.

Chefblogger − never fight for a relationship - dont play games. NTA good for you

Artistic-Tough-7764 − NTA - if you are not ready for a life-long battle, it makes sense to walk away.

leahhalt0nx06d − NTA. He came to you with a decision already made. He didn’t fight for you, so why should you have to fight for the relationship alone? A relationship takes two people willing to work through challenges together. If he wasn’t willing to, you were right to walk away.

ProfessorDistinct835 − NTA. You'd always be second to his family and that's a s**tty feeling.

DBFool2019 − You did nothing wrong. What did he want you to do, beg him? Not the AH.

These Redditors stood firmly in Priya’s corner, praising her for dodging a lifetime of emotional labor while calling out her ex’s spinelessness. Their vibrant takes weave a story of empowerment, where walking away can be the loudest declaration of self-worth.

Priya’s swift breakup lays bare the tension between love’s pull and family’s sway. Her choice to walk away without a fight sparks her ex’s blame, but it also carves a path to self-respect. Have you ever faced a love blocked by family ties? How would you balance fighting for a partner versus letting go? Share your thoughts below and let’s dive into this poignant dance of heart and honor!

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