AITA: told guy he was strictly Fwb in front of his parents?

Picture a sunny afternoon, the kind where the smell of fresh paint lingers in a cozy, slightly charred kitchen. A widowed mom, let’s call her Sarah, sits at a family lunch, expecting a casual chat with her friend-with-benefits’ (FWB) parents. Instead, she’s blindsided by wedding bells and talk of meeting her kids—plans she never signed up for. Sarah’s heart races; she’s been crystal clear about her no-marriage rule. The tension crackles like a summer storm brewing.

Sarah’s life hasn’t been easy. Widowed young with three kids, she’s built a fortress of boundaries to protect her family, leaning on her late husband’s insurance and his small business. Dating? Sure, but only on her terms: no kids involved, no rings exchanged. When Bob, her FWB, and his family push her into a corner, Sarah’s about to unleash a truth bomb that’ll shake the table.

‘AITA: told guy he was strictly Fwb in front of his parents?’

I was widowed young and left with 3 kids under 6. I don't know what I would have done without my late husband's family, despite being crushed they have been there for me and I would have never made it without them. Thankfully my husband left a lot of life insurance and I took over his small business. I had stepparents and it sucked. So, I decided to not remarry at least as long as my kid's were at home.

After a few years I decided to start dating, I was always upfront and told the guys that they'd never meet my kids and I'll never remarry. 2 years ago I started dating Bob, he's fun, we have a lot in common, he was good with my rules. Once the covid restrictions started relaxing we got together for a long weekend at his parent's cabin. He immediately started talking about the future, OUR future.

How we'll get married, he'll adopt my kids and I'll give him half of my home and business. I shut him down hard. Told him that if he wasn't good with things the way they'd been we needed to break up. Then I left. He called once I was home and begged me to reconsider. I repeated what I'd already said. He agreed. Everything seemed back to normal when he asked me to help his parents paint.

They'd had a small house fire and were trying to do as of much the repairs themselves as possible. I'd met them, they're nice people so I said yes. We're eating lunch when his mom tells me she can't wait to finally meet my kids and when's the wedding! Me, that's not happening. The entire family immediately starts pressuring me. Bob sits there with a s**t eating grin. I was pissed.

Tried to get them to stop, and they just wouldn't. Stood up, looked at him and said. 'You're just a friend with benefits, I would never ever marry you. Lose my number.' His mom started screaming that I was a b**ch and unworthy of her son. His brothers were laughing hysterically, his dad looked like I'd shot him. I feel bad about his mom & dad. AMIT?

Relationships thrive on honesty, but Sarah’s tale shows what happens when boundaries get trampled. Bob’s ambush at his parents’ house wasn’t just a misstep—it was a calculated move. Sarah, a widow guarding her kids’ stability, faced a classic pressure tactic. “When someone sets clear boundaries, ignoring them signals disrespect,” says Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology professor, in a Psychology Today article (source). Bob’s grin during the family’s grilling screams manipulation.

This isn’t just about Sarah and Bob—it’s a broader issue. A 2021 study from the Pew Research Center (source) notes that 60% of U.S. adults prioritize personal independence over marriage. Sarah’s stance reflects this shift, especially for single parents protecting their kids. Bob’s push for control, especially over her home and business, raises red flags about financial motives.

Dr. Whitbourne’s advice? “Communicate boundaries early and often.” Sarah did just that, but Bob’s overreach forced her hand. For others in similar spots, experts suggest calmly restating limits and walking away if they’re ignored. Sarah’s bold exit was a masterclass in self-respect.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit didn’t hold back, and their takes are as spicy as a summer barbecue. Here’s what the community had to say:

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dck133 − NTA - he thought he could pressure you into doing what he wanted by doing it in front of his family. Good for you for standing your ground.

LAKingsofMetal − NTA because you laid out your terms, for lack of a better word, at the start. May seem harsh to some, but it’s what you need and it sounds like you’re sticking to it. I do find it odd that while talking about your supposed future, he mentions you giving him half your business and home. Maybe it was innocent enough, but it just stuck me as odd. I’d be wary after hearing that.

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Texasworld − ~~I.NFO: did Bob tell his family you were getting married, or did they just assume?~~. Edit: based on OP’s comment, HUGE NTA. He deserved worse, honestly.

GarconMeansBoyGeorge − NTA. You have boundaries on your relationship (you are acting more than fwb) but nobody should be pressuring you to marry and he should not be lying to his family about an engagement.

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Final_Commission4160 − NTA you were very clear and he made some MASSIVE assumptions and oversteps.. He assumed that he could convince you to marry him with out having ever met your children. He assumed that getting his parents to think that you would be gettin married would pressure you into marrying him.. He is a colossal ash ole and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

LumosFiatLux − Honestly, I love how savage you were. Bob deserved every bit of it. Good for you for standing up for yourself like that and you dodged a real bullet with Bob! NTA.

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terayonjf − NTA he couldn't handle the relationship as is and purposely pulled you into a situation for his mother to badger you. If he wasn't in on it he would have changed the subject but he was in on it and let it continue. They chose to keep going after you told them to cut it out and it took a verbal beating from you to end the situation. He should be embarrassed.

RedBlow22 − He was putting the long con on you from the git go. He let it slip when he said you'd give him half your business. He figured his poker hand was strong enough to win the pot, so to say. His misjudged the strength of his hand. You did not misjudge the strength of your hand, and showed your winning hand with a flourish!. 'and the benefits weren't all that good' well, might be a line worth saving.. NTA

Mister_Stun − NTA. You were clear with your rules and he couldn’t handle it.. The part about “giving him half your business” part is concerning. Don’t ever do that regarding your property.. Anyways NTA, he purposely brought you there to have his family corner you and pressure you

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MadamDanny − NTA I hope you never go back to him the whole 'half of your house and business' screams bad intentions. At least you get to live happily with the fact that his brothers will NEVER let him live that down.

These Redditors cheered Sarah’s clapback, but do their hot takes match real-world wisdom? One thing’s clear: boundaries aren’t up for debate.

Sarah’s story is a wild ride—think a rom-com gone rogue. She stood her ground, dodged a manipulative trap, and left Bob’s family reeling. Her fierce commitment to her kids and independence is a reminder: boundaries are non-negotiable. But was her public shutdown too harsh, or just what Bob deserved? What would you do if someone tried to steamroll your limits like that? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep this juicy discussion going!

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