AITA not caring about or accommodating for my roommate’s girlfriend’s baby?

Imagine a cozy apartment turned chaotic by an uninvited toddler’s wails, shattering the peace of a childfree 27-year-old woman’s sanctuary. Living with her 23-year-old roommate, she thought she had a deal—shared rent, shared space, no surprises. But when his 19-year-old girlfriend and her screaming toddler moved in rent-free, the vibe soured faster than milk left out in the sun. Tensions flared, boundaries were tested, and a confrontation brewed.

Now, holed up in her room with a minifridge and her TV, our protagonist stands her ground, refusing to play nanny or foot the bill for a kid she never signed up for. Her mom calls her mean, but is she really the villain for wanting her old life back? This tale of clashing lifestyles and unwanted houseguests pulls us into a domestic drama where personal space is the ultimate prize.

‘AITA not caring about or accommodating for my roommate’s girlfriend’s baby?’

I (27F) and my roommate (23M) rent from our landlord (60M) and are both on the lease. Recently my roommate started dating a woman (19F) with a kid (toddler). Both the woman and the kid are really annoying. I'm childfree and dislike being around children. This annoying toddler always screams and throws tantrums.

I could deal with this until now. Roommate's girlfriend decided it was ok for her to move in without paying rent since she got kicked out of her parents house (wonder why?). I am very vocally not happy with this and I told the landlord immediately and he said he'd do something about it but never did.

It's been a month so I'm not even sure if she can be legally evicted now, not that it's even in my hands now. Best thing I can do now is just ignore the girlfriend and her kid.

I don't acknowledge the kid, I bought a minifridge for my room so that she doesn't steal my food, I moved my tv and all my consoles from the living room into my room since I hate going out there now anyway.

Apart from that business is completely normal. I have people over including my girlfriend, practice my instruments as loud as I want during non-quiet hours. I refuse to babysit for any amount of time for any reason. One time I was sleeping and got woken up to my door being knocked on and my phone vibrating.

I saw a bunch of texts from roommate saying that they need me to babysit. I lied and said I was out which lead to them having to cancel their plans for the day. Roommate's girlfriend HATES me and thinks I'm being selfish. Thinks that the baby needs to come first.

She has no money and my roommate makes a lot less than me so she thinks I should be responsible for childproofing the house. I told her to take it up with the landlord and that I wasn't wasting my money on her and her kid that isn't even wanted here.

Today I was having my lunch with my mom and vented about this to her and she said that I'm being really mean because even though the circumstances aren't ideal 'babys should come first, always'.

Am I really the a**hole for wanting to live my life exactly the same as before some unwanted kid started squatting in my house? The way I see it she should go find some other place or if she can't afford one a shelter somewhere.

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This roommate saga is a masterclass in boundary violations. The girlfriend’s unapproved move-in with her toddler disrupts the OP’s right to a peaceful home. Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, states, “Clear boundaries are essential for healthy cohabitation; uninvited changes to living arrangements breed resentment” (Psychology Today). The OP’s frustration is valid—her lease didn’t include a toddler, and her roommate’s failure to consult her screams disrespect.

The broader issue here is tenant rights in shared living spaces. A 2023 report by the National Low Income Housing Coalition notes that 1 in 5 renters face unauthorized occupants, often leading to lease violations (NLIHC.org). The girlfriend’s expectation that the OP childproof the house ignores her financial and emotional autonomy. The roommate’s babysitting demands further erode the OP’s “quiet enjoyment,” a legal right to undisturbed use of her home.

Dr. Heitler’s advice—set firm boundaries—applies here. The OP’s actions, like moving her belongings to her room, protect her space. She should escalate the issue with the landlord, citing lease terms, and explore legal options, like consulting a tenant lawyer, to address the unauthorized occupants.

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For others in similar situations, document all interactions with the landlord and roommates. If the lease prohibits additional occupants, leverage this to push for action. Prioritize your mental health—whether by negotiating with the roommate for rent contributions or exploring a lease break. Engaging calmly but firmly can prevent further escalation.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back—here’s the tea, straight from the source:

IridianRaingem − NTA Everyone is right. The baby should come first. To the parents. Your roommate signed up for a kid, you didn’t. It’s not your responsibility to feed, clothe or babyproof a house for a kid that isn’t yours

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you don’t want around, and who shouldn’t be living there in the first place. Go to the landlord again or look into finding a way to move. Your roommates choices aren’t your problem.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Carry on doing what you're doing! It is 100% the responsibility of the mother to provide a safe environment for her kid, if that's not the case at your place...she needs to move out.. Do not pay one cent towards this kid, you shouldn't have to burden any costs.

AnarchoNAP − NTA. Not your kid, not your problem.

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[Reddit User] − NTA- F**k em. Not your responsibility. You pay your half of the rent and can do whatever you want as long as you don’t violate the lease or whatever. You don’t know them from Adam.

SirEDCaLot − NTA. The people you talk to are right- the baby should come first **for the parents**. It doesn't sound like that's happening. But let's talk about the kid. You want nothing to do with the kid. Is that going to negatively impact the kid in any way? No? Great, you're fine.

You have the right to *quiet enjoyment* of your apartment home. Quiet enjoyment is a legal term, read that page. If there is a screaming toddler running around your place, which you did not agree to, your quiet enjoyment is probably being prevented.

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Furthermore, if you have to restrict your use of the apartment home, for example to avoid endangering the child, that is also reducing your quiet enjoyment. Now, if you knew this was happening, if you'd given any sort of OK or authorization, that would be one thing.

Instead, the roommate has unilaterally added two more occupants to your apartment without any authorization. Personally I would suggest move out. I'd get a lawyer to help with that, but I think your argument should be that you signed a lease with one other person and the landlord, that you'd have two people in a two-bedroom apartment.

Now there is four people in this space, including a noisy child. You have alerted the landlord to the situation and they have done nothing. Therefore, since the landlord is not providing a quiet peaceful apartment as provided in the lease contract

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they are in default and thus you can escape the lease without penalty. Obviously this would depend on the specific wording of the lease, so talk to a lawyer.

krisiepoo − NTA- not your kid, not your girlfriends kid, absolutely not your responsibility. Crappy of your roommate to be a d**k like this. Hopefully your lease will be up soon?

hatt0rihans0l0 − NTA. It's not your kid, not your girlfriend. Your roommate is totally unreasonable for not making sure you were okay with a kid in the house before bringing it over at all

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much less expecting you to have anything to do with the kid/letting them live with you rent-free. Talk to your landlord and roommate again. Babies come first for the people that make them, nobody else.

graywisteria − NTA. That your roommate and his girlfriend thought you'd be down for free childcare is beyond ridiculous. I'm getting the vibe that you're expected to child friendlify your life to accommodate being around this toddler, when really it is the parents' job to move somewhere that is child-friendly.

Erroerroerro − Hell to the no. Babies come first TO THE MOTHER. not your kid, not even a friends kid, not your responsibility. If they ask again tell them no, not your kid or responsibility and also since you're here fkn pay rent or get out.

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Edited to add. JFC To the people bemoaning that I said 'to the mother' instead of 'to the parents' FFS the dad isn't mentioned and she lives with her boyfriend who is not the dad. The mother is the only parent mentioned in OP's post and I didn't say 'to the parents' as the boyfriend is not the bio dad.

priapismLPN − NTA. 1) None of this kid is your choice, or were you able to give an opinion on. You didn’t take part in making it. You didn’t decide to date a single mother. You didn’t get asked if kid and its mother could move in.

2) Mother needs to pay rent or GTFO. I’d hate for the kid to be homeless but the mother is responsible for expenses. Or the roommate needs to up his share of rent if he’s deciding he wants to play daddy to this kid.

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3) A discussion is warranted when you move someone in. Hell, sometimes a discussion is warranted before you bring tiny tornado terrors into a bachelor pad. 4) They expected you to babysit for free at the last minute so they could have fun? Fuuuuuck no. I kinda like kids and have three of my own.

If I wanna have fun, I gotta plan like a week in advance and *hope* my free sitters are available and willing. Otherwise I’m ponying up some money and still planning at least a week or two in advance. And my answer to someone else asking me to babysit is still hell no.

These spicy Reddit takes are all-in for the OP, but do they miss any nuances? The community’s loud and clear: not her kid, not her problem. But is there a middle ground in this messy roommate drama?

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This tale of a toddler takeover and a roommate’s overreach leaves us questioning where boundaries begin and end in shared spaces. The OP’s refusal to bend—whether dodging babysitting or locking away her snacks—feels like a stand for her rights, but her mom’s words sting. Have you ever clashed with a roommate’s unexpected plus-one? What would you do to reclaim your space? Drop your thoughts below and let’s untangle this domestic standoff!

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