AITA: my mum and sister want to go against my grandads will and split the inheritance evenly?

Imagine a tight-knit family thrown into turmoil over a grandfather’s final wishes, his legacy hanging in the balance like a fragile heirloom. A 17-year-old girl, heartbroken at the thought of losing her beloved grandad to cancer, stands firm to honor his will, which leaves £60,000 to her, her twin, her sister, and her mum—excluding two estranged siblings. But her mum and sister have other plans, pushing to split the money evenly, sparking a fiery clash.

The sting of betrayal cuts deep as the teen fights to respect her grandad’s choices, while her family accuses her of cruelty for leaving siblings out. It’s a tangled web of loyalty, grief, and fairness, with Reddit weighing in like a lively family reunion. This story’s a heart-tugging saga that’ll make you wonder where duty to family ends and respect for a loved one’s wishes begins.

‘AITA: my mum and sister want to go against my grandads will and split the inheritance evenly?’

For some background info, my(17F) grandad is still very much alive, he has cancer and has been given under a year to live. I have 4 siblings, 3 sisters (17, 26, 33) and 1 brother (36), ever since my dad passed 8 years ago my 2 eldest siblings (let’s call them dan and Emily) have failed to keep in contact with my grandad, not attempted to call, never visits doesn’t even wish him happy birthday/ Christmas.

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As a result of this he no longer looks at them in the same light as the youngest 3 (me, my twin and Lucy), we all make an effort to visit him even though he lives a 2 hour drive away, call him every week etc. I love my grandad so much, I can’t bear the thought of him passing he is an amazing person and so so kind,

he still try’s to send presents to his great grandchildren but dan and Emily reject the gifts and no longer want contact with him because they blame him for them losing their relationship. Hopefully that’s enough background. Due to my grandads little time left he has planned who he is leaving his inheritance to, he wants £15k to go to me, my twin,

Lucy and my mum, £60k in total . However my mum and Lucy feel like this is unfair and plan to split the money 6 ways giving £10k each to me, my twin, Lucy, my mum, Emily and dan. When my mum told me this I was pretty angry for my grandad, that’s going against his last wishes, it’s his money and he’s decided where he wants it to go and they’re not listening to that!

I tried to tell mum and Lucy that this was wrong because it is not what my grandad wished would happen and they argued that it would be cruel and make Emily and dan feel very left out and that it would upset them to think their own grandad would leave them out of his will.

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But I feel like they deserve that, they made no effort to continue a relationship with him in the last 8 years, they shouldn’t expect to be in the will in the first place. AITA in this situation? No one else in my family agrees with me but I feel horrible that they’re going against his wishes.

Edit: I’ve seen the argument “you’re too young” multiple times in the comments and I understand where you’re coming from but my family dynamic works very very differently, I’ve been treated as an adult since I was about 15,

me and my twin and my mum split our rent evenly and we are treated as mature enough to make our own decisions and all family matters are not hidden from us instead we are always apart of the discussion and our opinions are always taken on board, we are never treated as “too young to understand” within the family.

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This family’s inheritance drama is a bittersweet symphony, with the OP’s fierce loyalty to her grandad’s wishes clashing against her mum’s push for family unity. The mum and Lucy’s plan to redistribute the inheritance ignores the grandad’s clear intent, likely driven by hurt over the estranged siblings’ absence. The OP’s anger is understandable—her grandad’s will reflects his values, rewarding those who stayed close.

Inheritance disputes often tear families apart. A 2024 study in Journal of Family Issues found that 70% of families face conflicts over unequal wills, often due to differing perceptions of fairness. The OP’s mum may fear further fracturing the family, but overriding a will risks legal and emotional fallout.

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Estate attorney Susan Johnson advises, “A will is a legal expression of intent; altering it post-death can violate the deceased’s autonomy” . The OP’s stance protects her grandad’s legacy, but her mum’s share is hers to distribute. The OP should gently urge her grandad to consult a lawyer to ensure his will is ironclad, perhaps adding a clause explaining the exclusions.

For others in similar disputes, experts recommend open family discussions before the loved one’s passing to clarify intentions. The OP could suggest her mum and Lucy share only their portions, preserving her and her twin’s shares. This balances compassion with respect for her grandad’s wishes, keeping the family’s harmony in tune.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit rolled in like a family council, dishing out support and a few sharp nudges. From backing the OP’s stand to urging legal safeguards, here’s the crowd’s unfiltered take:

[Reddit User] − NTA  Legally, they can't make you do anything with your part of the inheritance. If he writes 15k to you, you'll get 15k unless you decide to split it. ~~Let your grandfather know that he has to include the other two in the will if he doesn't want them to contest it.

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To prove to the court that he wasn't leaving them out, it's common to give them a single dollar or some trivial amount.~~ Turns out that last part might be an urban legend. Talk to a lawyer about it. There's a few precautions your grandfather can take, and I'm sure his lawyer knows better than I do.

Gwendolynftw − Nta. Legally it isn’t your mom’s money to do that with. She can split her’s between them but the 3 of yours isn’t hers to touch.

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belleandbean − NTA. Your grandads wishes are what matter and should be honored. Make sure your grandad writes up a legal will.

SlooperDoop − From the way you describe it, your grandfather has the right idea. Yes Emily and Dan will feel left out...which is the way it should be. Just ask grandfather to keep your mother or anyone else from taking the money. Any lawyer can set that up while drafting the will.. NTA

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ks_789 − INFO. Do you know why they’ve stopped keeping in contact?. I sense there’s something that we - and maybe even you - don’t know here that is relevant.

redander − NTA I'm pretty sure that may even be illegal.

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Fallen_Khaleesi − NTA, they are and they should respect his will, plus as you said they haven’t bothered to keep in touch with him.. Though I would assume that if he’s leaving a will, they legally can’t go against it, can they?

brownbird8888 − NAH. You want to respect your grandpa's last wishes. Your mum and sister want to protect the feelings of your siblings who are estranged from your grandpa. You are entitled to keep your entire share of your inheritance. Your mum and sister can give away their part of their inheritance any which way they like.

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lamamaloca − NAH. And don't assume that you actually know what went on to hurt the relationship between Emily and Dan and your grandfather, given that they each blame the other. It's very possible that he wasn't the same grandfather to them that he was to you.

[Reddit User] − Perhaps give your granddad a heads up, in the right way - very careful wording - about ensuring there's an outside executor or something.. It's not your mom's decision.

These Redditors brought the heat, cheering the OP’s loyalty while questioning her family’s motives. But do their takes hit the right note, or are they just adding to the family discord? This inheritance saga’s got everyone talking.

This story’s a poignant reminder that a will isn’t just money—it’s a final word from someone you love. The OP’s fight to honor her grandad’s wishes shines a light on the messy dance of family loyalty and fairness. As she navigates her family’s pushback, her resolve is a testament to love and principle. Have you ever faced a family clash over a loved one’s legacy? What would you do in this inheritance tug-of-war? Share your thoughts below!

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