AITA My mom thinks that I shower too long and a shower should take 5 minutes?

A teen with waist-length hair and a full skincare routine faces daily screams from mom, who insists showers must clock in at exactly five minutes flat. The clash erupted over 20–25-minute sessions packed with exfoliating, hair conditioning, and leg shaving—luxuries mom deems wasteful.

In addition, what makes the story more complicated is the edit: mom grew up one of 11 teens sharing one bathroom, likely hard-wiring her “five-minute rule” decades later. The daughter politely checks availability, turns water off while scrubbing, and still gets scolded for daring to pamper.

‘AITA My mom thinks that I shower too long and a shower should take 5 minutes?’

Family wealth meets bathroom tyranny as mom demands military-precision showers.

So, to clarify me and my family are pretty well off , my showers usually last about 20-25 minutes but I always get screamed at after leaving because apparently we...

Her main arguments are “what do you do in there for that long” and I can’t really say scrubbing my body , hair , exfoliating etc etc bc she literally...

honestly I have no idea what to do and I’m just lost in how to explain that showering is part of my time to clean and prioritize myself.

Edits reveal courtesy measures and a possible childhood trauma behind the timer obsession.

Edit : yes I turn the water off when I’m scrubbing my body , washing my hair and then turn back on afterwards. My toilet and shower and bath are...

i know im the only one that takes longer than everybody else so i never shower first A lot of people are guessing my mam has shorter hair than me...

I’ve just realized one thing about my Mam’s childhood , she grew up with 10 siblings all teenagers the same age as her and she probably had to use the...

Five-minute showers might work for buzz-cut truckers, but anyone with long hair and a loofah needs double digits—science and hygiene agree.

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The daughter’s routine is textbook thorough: water off during product dwell time, courteous scheduling, separate facilities. Mom’s rule ignores biology—conditioning alone requires 3–5 minutes. Some defend brevity for conservation, yet no drought exists here. In addition, what makes the story more complicated is generational baggage; 11 teens, one bathroom likely bred survival timing that now polices luxury.

Dermatologist Dr. Shereene Idriss notes, “Proper cleansing, especially with long hair or shaving, easily exceeds 15 minutes—rushing risks residue and irritation” (source: Dr. Shereene Idriss, PillowtalkDerm YouTube).

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Social media users roared in solidarity, baffled by the five-minute mandate and sharing their own 20-minute rituals.

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stfubarry − Most of these commenters are insane lmao. If you aren’t showering for a minimum of 15 minutes, I doubt you’re thoroughly cleaning yourself. It takes me at least...

longer if my hair needs to be washed. Wash my face, fully rinse, soap + washcloth on the hot zones, body wash scrub everywhere, rinse thoroughly. Then fully rinse out...

Keep doing what you’re doing. Instill some smelly malicious compliance if she keeps micromanaging.

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MrsNarbles − I’m so weirded out by everyone saying they turn the water off mid shower. . ALSO, growing up my grandpa would take 3 minute showers because he was...

No way is anyone with any amount of hair and needing to shave legs getting CLEAN clean in 5 minutes. If OPs mom thinks they’re jorking it in the shower

and shortening the time will mitigate that… that can be done literally anywhere with a door. She needs to get over that and let this person wash their ass in...

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paper0wl − If I am *actively rushing* - not shaving, exfoliating, relaxing, etc - through my shower, I can do 10-15 minutes. Usually I’m in the 20-25 minute range.

Why are there so many people in the comments thinking 5-10 minutes is normal and anything longer is “excessive”? Do I have to shave my head or something to get...

chiorgirl25 − My showers are 20 minutes. I have waist length hair so it takes a little longer. Then scrubbing, shaving, face, etc. So I don’t think it’s excessive.

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However, I don’t wash my hair every day so it’s much shorter when I don’t. People who say 5 minutes just don’t get it and are acting self righteous.

A couple marveled at the water-off technique while defending length.

kae0603 − I have never once turned off the shower when I wash. Ever. People really do that?

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ZealousidealRice8461 − NTA who turns off the water when showering? ? I grew up poor and still never did that.

Playful shock kept the vibe light.

IzilDizzle − NTA. Some people can take a 5 minute show, others take a 20 minute shower. . Neither seems unusual. Perhaps your your mother is very religious and thinks...

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Pittlers − Learning about people's weird shower behaviors in the comments. ..

coffee-mcr − I'm interested to hear how people wash and condition their hair, and shave in 5-10 minutes. Like you said you can turn the water off when the conditioner...

You shouldn't use too much water, and take others into consideration, but you seem to be doing that, so I don't get the problem. For everyone saying you can do...

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Accomplished_Area311 − Doing an everything shower every day seems excessive but you’re still NTA. EDIT: These comments are batshit lmao, OP isn’t in an area with a water shortage or...

This social media standoff pits a meticulous teen against a mom trapped in sibling-survival mode, proving five minutes barely wets the loofah. In addition, what makes the story more complicated is the daughter’s empathy for mom’s past, yet refusal to sacrifice self-care.

When childhood scarcity collides with modern luxury, who gets the final rinse? Have you ever had to defend your shower playlist and pumice stone to a time-obsessed parent?

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