AITA my husband is angry I won’t come to my MIL’s for Thanksgiving?
Thanksgiving is supposed to be about gratitude, family, and, of course, a home‑cooked feast—but what happens when your work roster demands you clock in on the holiday itself? The OP, newly transitioned to a work‑from‑home role with heavy holiday‑week sales, discovered her shift runs from 7 am to 6 pm on Thanksgiving Day. Overnight, her familiar tradition of hosting at home transformed into a logistical puzzle involving her MIL’s house and a noon‑scheduled dinner.
When her mother‑in‑law and sister‑in‑law finalized plans for a midday gathering—without checking on her availability—and her husband cheerfully “volunteered” her to roast the turkey, the OP faced a professional vs. familial showdown. Exhaustion loomed large, and by the time she’d punch out, the meal would be over—which begs the question: is it unreasonable to skip the meal and the turkey duty?
‘AITA my husband is angry I won’t come to my MIL’s for Thanksgiving?’
“Work–Family Conflict Hits Hard During the Holidays.” Balancing a demanding job with cherished traditions can feel like juggling flaming torches. The OP’s dilemma—being scheduled for two back‑to‑back 11‑hour shifts over Thanksgiving and Black Friday—illustrates how modern work expectations often encroach on family time, leaving little room for rest or celebration.
“Clashing Perspectives: Employer Needs vs. Family Expectations.” While the OP must meet her employer’s busiest sales days, her in‑laws view Thanksgiving as sacrosanct. The husband’s decision to assign her cooking duties without consulting her highlights a common mismatch: one party prioritizes career obligations, the other assumes holiday flexibility. This tension underscores how unmet expectations can strain relationships when schedules collide.
“Setting Boundaries to Prevent Burnout.” Research consistently shows overwork leads to exhaustion and reduced well‑being. As psychologist Dr. Amy Morin writes, “One of the most important boundaries mentally strong people set is not allowing others to make unreasonable demands on their time” (AmyMorinLCSW.com). By firmly communicating her limits—work hours and recovery needs—the OP can maintain both her job performance and her mental health.
“Practical Strategies for Next Year’s Feast.” Experts recommend discussing holiday schedules months in advance, sharing a family calendar, and exploring alternative traditions—like hosting a post‑Thanksgiving brunch or potluck. If turkey duties are non‑negotiable, delegating cooking tasks or ordering a pre‑prepared bird can ease the burden. These solutions foster cooperation while honoring everyone’s commitments.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and humorous: These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect real‑life family dynamics?
Work obligations and family traditions don’t always align, and saying “no” can feel guilt‑ridden—especially on holidays. While empathy for in‑laws is natural, honoring one’s own limits is equally valid. How have you navigated similar clashes between career demands and family gatherings? Share your strategies, successes, or epic fails below!
