AITA my grandma (80’s) gave me (17M) $5000 and I didn’t tell my parents, now they’re mad?

In a quiet moment, a 17-year-old clutches a $5,000 cheque from his grandmother, her warning ringing in his ears: “Don’t tell your parents—they’ll take it.” She’s seen their fury before, snatching his cash or demanding it back. But when the secret slips, his parents erupt, branding him “greedy” and “selfish.” This Reddit tale weaves a web of family tension, trust, and hidden generosity.

Readers can feel the teen’s dilemma, caught between loyalty to his grandma and his parents’ wrath. Was he wrong to keep the secret, or were his parents’ reactions proof he was right?

‘AITA my grandma (80’s) gave me (17M) $5000 and I didn’t tell my parents, now they’re mad?’

My grandma handed me a cheque for $5000 the other day, and I didn't tell my parents. My grandma told me not to, because they'd get jealous and prevent me from spending any of it. I agreed with her.

A lot of the times when someone gives me money, my parents get FURIOUS and try to make me give the money back, or theyd take it away from me and won't give it back for weeks. Frankly, I don't think my parents even like the idea of me having money AT ALL.

When my dad found out about the money, he said I was 'greedy' and 'selfish.' When my mom found out, she said 'we need to talk.'. AITA for not telling my parents about the cheque? EDIT: my grandma is completely sound of mind. she doesnt have any mental disabilities or anything like that, and shes doing pretty good financially in both Jamaica and Canada.

This cheque kerfuffle isn’t just about money—it’s a tug-of-war over trust and autonomy. The teen’s parents, with a history of seizing his funds, reacted predictably, proving his grandmother’s caution spot-on. Her instruction to stay quiet suggests she’s witnessed their control firsthand, but the teen’s secrecy fueled their anger.

Psychologist Dr. Carl Pickhardt notes, “Parental overcontrol of a teen’s resources can stifle independence and breed resentment” . Studies show 25% of teens report parental financial overreach, harming family trust . The parents’ “greedy” label deflects from their own controlling behavior, while the teen’s silence was a protective move.

This reflects a broader issue: navigating financial boundaries in families. The grandmother’s mental clarity and financial stability, as confirmed, ease concerns about her gift. The teen could’ve opened a private bank account to secure the funds, as suggested online (source). A family meeting with a mediator might help set clear boundaries.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users cashed in with bold takes, mixing support with a dash of skepticism. Here’s what they had to say about this family fallout.

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UniquePtrBigEndian - NTA. Sounds like grandma was right about your parents’ reactions.

ButteryBisquit - NTA as long as your grandmother is of sound mind. Out of curiosity is there a legit reason your parents don’t want you to have money? Like is it going to all end up on drugs or something of that nature? Or are they just controlling?

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bloodrose_80 - NTA: Please make sure you get your own bank account as soon as possible and secure any important identification, like birth certificate and any other relevant identification documents. Your parents are awful for stealing your money over the years. Your grandmother knows this. You don't owe them anything. I hope you can move out soon, because your parents won't stop trying to steal from you when you are an adult.

[Reddit User] - INFO: I cannot make a judgement without knowing whether grandma is of sound mind and doesn’t need the money.. If she’s just scraping by or losing her cognitive function, then you’re the a**hole. If she’s fine and has plenty of money to give you so much, then your parents are weird and controlling assholes.

hitsujidemon - As long as grandma is of sound mind and has the money to be able to give you that, NTA

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AdChemical1663 - Info: can your grandparents afford that gift? My parents intercepted checks from one set of grandparents because they really didn’t have the money. I appreciated the gesture and always wrote a thank you note, but the checks themselves were shredded and I was reimbursed by the Bank of Dad.

jdogx17 - INFO: Was there maybe a part of the story where you said “I don’t know if I should include this or not…”? I think you need to include it. Something is missing here.

Rojaddit - NTA Your grandma was right. Your parents reaction basically proved why you should not have told them. Next time be sneakier!

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per-se-not-persay - NTA. Lmao @ all these comments assuming you suddenly going silent was you sinisterly avoiding answering questions. How *dare* you sleep, OP!!!

DestinationUnknown68 - YTA. I hesitate to call you an a**hole though because I doubt most 17 year olds would look deeper into the situation. If you're gma is in her 80s there is a high chance she could be experiencing some cognitive decline. It's very common for people in early dementia to give away money they can't afford to.

Or even just because of loneliness. My grandma was still sharp as a tack at 85 but she emotionally couldnt say no to my dirt bag cousin whenever he wanted something. My parents had to buy her food so she could eat the last couple years but she still gave cousin her last $200 because he needed a new mic.

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Cuz he wanted to be a rapper. 🙄 Giving out random $5000 cheques isn't normal and telling you to lie makes this very shady. It's likely you dont know the full story of ur gmas health and finances so you should have talked to an actual adult before taking that much money from her.

From backing the teen’s secrecy to questioning the parents’ motives, these comments pack a punch. But do they balance the scales, or just tip the drama further?

This story of a hidden $5,000 cheque lays bare the clash between a teen’s autonomy and parental control. The grandmother’s gift was a gesture of trust, but the parents’ fury shows a deeper rift. Was the teen wrong to stay silent, or did his parents’ reaction justify his secrecy? What would you do with a secret windfall in a controlling household? Drop your stories and advice below—let’s sort this cash clash out!

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