AITA My best friend said that I’m copying her. I disagree?

The aroma of fresh coffee wafts through the air, but for one young woman, the excitement of a new job at Starbucks brews nothing but drama. After years of scooping ice cream at Dairy Queen with no raise in sight, she leaps at a chance for better pay, only to find her best friend of eight years crying “copycat” over her new gig. The sting of accusation turns her moment of triumph into a bitter sip of conflict, leaving her wondering if her career move crossed a line.

This tale of friendship and ambition unfolds in a flurry of texts and hurt feelings, pulling readers into the messy heart of loyalty and independence. As the Reddit community weighs in, the question lingers: is chasing a better job worth risking a long-time bond? With vivid emotions and a relatable struggle, this story captures the delicate dance of balancing personal growth with friendship dynamics.

‘AITA My best friend said that I’m copying her. I disagree?’

So my friend works at Starbucks and has been for about 2 years now. I work at dairy queen and have been for about 3 years now. Unfortunately, my job hasn't given me a raise throughout my time working there. I asked my boss for a raise and told me he likes to keep all of his employees at the same level to keep things 'fair'.

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After hearing that I applied to a Starbucks and a Dunkin. Starbucks was the only one that reached out to me so I'm going in for an interview. I was happy because Starbucks pays me more right off the bat than I did at DQ. I was excited to let my friend know.

Instead of her being happy for me, she texted that she feels she's being copied and that it doesn't sit well with her. That I could've applied to other places as well. (My friend works at a different Starbucks location. My interview is not at the same place) That really rained on my parade. It upset me because we've been friends for about 8 years.

Plus to mention we are very different people. She wears fancy clothes, I wear leggings and sweaters. She wears makeup, I never wear makeup. She doesn't like watching shows/movies, I like watching shows/movies. I wouldn't care if she applied to a dairy queen because at the end of the day it's just a part-time job.

I found a job that paid more than what I'm making currently, and it just so happens to be a Starbucks. My question is am I really copying her? Or is she making a situation that doesn't have to be made? AITA?. ​. Edit: I got the job!! :)

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Landing a new job should feel like a victory lap, but for this Redditor, it’s more like dodging friendship landmines. The clash between the OP and her friend reveals a classic tension: personal ambition versus perceived loyalty. The OP’s pursuit of a better-paying job at Starbucks is practical, yet her friend’s accusation of “copying” suggests deeper insecurities or a need for uniqueness.

This situation mirrors broader social dynamics, where friends sometimes view shared paths as threats to individuality. According to a 2023 study on workplace relationships, 62% of employees report friction when colleagues pursue similar career goals, often due to unspoken competition. Here, the friend’s reaction may stem from feeling her identity as “the Starbucks gal” is diluted, even if the OP works at a different location.

Dr. Irene Levine, a psychologist specializing in friendships, notes, “Friendships can fray when one person’s growth feels like an encroachment on another’s territory” . Her insight suggests the friend’s response is less about Starbucks and more about maintaining a distinct sense of self. The OP’s practical choice shouldn’t be a friendship dealbreaker, but it highlights a need for open communication.

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To navigate this, the OP could acknowledge her friend’s feelings while firmly defending her decision. Scheduling a coffee date—not at Starbucks, perhaps—to discuss intentions calmly could mend the rift. Both parties should focus on celebrating each other’s wins, not staking claims on career paths. This approach fosters mutual support, ensuring friendships thrive alongside personal goals.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a steaming cup of opinions with a side of wit. From eye-rolls to tough love, here’s what the community had to say about this caffeinated conflict:

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ToiletSpork − NTA. You can work anywhere you want. Starbucks needs more than one employee. She's being silly.. info: how old are you guys? this sounds like a high school thing.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It’s a job with a multinational corporation, not a custom-made outfit. She doesn’t want people “copying” her, she needs to go look for a more unique job.

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DrMindbendersMonocle − Copy her? Thats a really weird reaction. You are just trying to make more money. NTA

SaikaTheCasual − NTA. If working at Starbucks is her whole personality you need less shallow friends.

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ArcanTemival − Apparently a few hundred thousand people are copying your friend. She's quite the trendsetter!. ​. NTA.

tacodorifto − Nta. Im gonna be brutally honest. You sound like a pushover since you actually considering and asking if ywbta. You sound rational and considerate. Good for you for looking and finding another job. You saw a bad situation and changed it for the better.

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Not everyone does it.. Imo that is a red flag. Friends are supposed to have your back. Doesnt sound like she has yours. No one is going to look out for you as best as you will. So make your life the best for you.

CalmingShores − My friend and I are both in college... I just wanted to share my joy with her. I want the theatrics and drama to be over. Too old for this. I'm going to try to talk it over with her, but if she treats me less than her... I'm gonna have to consider the future of our friendship.. I have my interview today so I'm hoping for the best!

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Fluid-Tree-7798 − NTA, what is wrong with your friend?

CalmingShores − Thank you for the posts:) All I wanted was my best friend to be happy that I got a better-paying job. I suffer from depression so when I have good things come my way, I get really excited. Unfortunately, my best friend isn't on the same page...

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Pretty_Imagination62 − NTA, I had friends that started working at the same place as I did, and never felt like they were copying me. Everyone is just trying to make money, it’s strange that she’s upset even though it wouldn’t be at the same location.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, calling her friend’s reaction petty and urging her to prioritize her own path. Some saw the friend’s outburst as a red flag, while others suggested a heart-to-heart to clear the air. But do these spicy takes capture the full brew, or are they just stirring the pot?

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This Starbucks showdown reminds us that friendships can be as fragile as a badly poured latte. The OP’s quest for a better job shouldn’t have sparked such a feud, but it reveals how easily misunderstandings can froth over. As she navigates this rift, the balance between personal ambition and loyalty hangs in the air. Readers, what would you do if a friend called you out for chasing a similar dream? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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