AITA if I prioritize buying Christmas presents above my cousin’s dog?

The holiday season sparkles with joy, but for one person, it’s brought a tangle of guilt and family drama brighter than any Christmas tree. Caught between a tight budget and the magic of gift-giving, they planned to surprise loved ones with modest presents like shoes and backpacks. But their cousin’s new dog has thrown a wrench in the festive plans, with daily pleas for cash to cover food, toys, and spaying—demands that threaten to derail the holiday cheer.

Saying no to a furry friend’s needs feels like a lump of coal in the heart, especially for an animal lover. Yet, with rent looming and family gifts on the line, they offered $100 instead of the requested $300, only to face accusations of misplaced priorities. This tale dives into the messy balance of family loyalty, financial strain, and pet responsibility. Who’s in the right? Let’s unwrap this holiday dilemma.

‘AITA if I prioritize buying Christmas presents above my cousin’s dog?’

I am on a tighter budget than usual this month because I want to buy Christmas presents for my family and a little plastic tree. I won't have much left after paying rent and presents. With that said, my cousin recently bought a dog and she has been telling me she can't afford food, toys for the dog, and a dog bed and asked me for the money.

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She wants to get the dog spayed also. I initially told her I would give her $20 but she is saying she needs $300. I can afford it but I would have to not get gifts for my family. She asks me about it several times a day, saying I should not value material things above a dog's life.

I am an animal lover and have upped my contribution to $100 but she says I have my priorities wrong. By the way, the presents I'm getting are not expensive at all, just a pair of shoes or a new backpack so I can't go that much lower.

Is it wrong of me to want to put Christmas presents for my family above her dog, given her dog will at least have food from the money I am offering? Thank you guys for the responses. It has made me reconsider my feelings of guilt about giving her more money for the dog.

As long as she (the dog) has food, the spaying is not an emergency. I know it isn't my dog, but I don't want any animal to suffer, and my cousin is dead set on keeping the dog so I did feel like I should help out as much as possible to ensure the dog has a good life. I'll be looking into low cost options around her.

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Choosing between family gifts and a cousin’s pet care is a tough call, especially when purse strings are tight. The Redditor’s decision to prioritize Christmas presents reflects a commitment to their immediate family, but their cousin’s insistence that a dog’s needs trump “material” gifts creates friction. As financial psychologist Dr. Brad Klontz notes, “Money decisions often reflect deeper values, and conflicts arise when those values clash” (source: Psychology Today).

The cousin’s purchase of a dog without funds for its care raises questions about responsibility. Pet ownership costs average $1,000-$2,000 annually, per the ASPCA, and 20% of owners struggle with unexpected expenses (source: ASPCA). The Redditor’s $100 offer ensures the dog’s immediate needs, like food, are met, while spaying, though important, isn’t urgent. The cousin’s pressure may stem from guilt over her own financial misstep, but it unfairly burdens the Redditor.

Dr. Klontz suggests clear communication to resolve money disputes. The Redditor could firmly restate their budget constraints and suggest low-cost spaying clinics, maintaining kindness without overextending. This preserves family ties while reinforcing boundaries.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users didn’t hold back, tossing out opinions with the zest of a holiday roast. Most called the cousin out for buying a dog she can’t afford, while cheering the Redditor’s stand to prioritize family gifts.

KnightsSkye - NTA she's the a**hole for buying a dog when she can't afford one

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Niarah - NTA and it sounds like your cousin can’t afford having a dog. That poor thing.

Wolfenbro - Super NTA. Next time your cousin hounds you about the money, simply explain that it was incredibly irresponsible of her to get a dog when she can’t afford to take care of it.. This is 100% on her. You have no blame here.

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I can’t get over the level of entitlement here. “I bought this dog, but can’t afford any of the things needed for the dog, how terrible of a person are YOU for not giving me money to take care of this dog I got?”

[Reddit User] - NTA. She should’ve never brought a dog when she cannot afford the basic things for it. That dog is not your responsibility.

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LuvMeLongThyme - Your cousin bought a dog she could not afford. Not adopted. Where it probably would have had basic shots and been fixed. But bought.. But, yea, no. The shelter people probably wouldn’t have let somebody this unprepared get a shelter dog.. Annnd how is this your problem? No, really. HOW IS THIS YOUR PROBLEM? NTA

Illustrious-Tour-247 - NTA. Why would your cousin get an animal she can't care for? And how generous is she to willingly spend your money to solve her problem. Get a backbone and tell your cousin to give the dog to someone who will actually take care of it. DO NOT give away YOUR money.

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nananancy - NTA. Your cousin is the AH for buying a pet she couldn't afford. Come on, she is even asking for money for food. How is this possibly sustainable if she doesn't even have funds for food. That dog deserves a better home.

account79265 - NTA! DO NOT GIVE HER ANYMORE SHES A LEECH!!!

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NecessaryBunch6587 - NTA. Why did your cousin buy a dog if she couldn’t afford to care for it?

Plants_are_my_cats - NTA. You offered her a sum of money that will feed the dog for a while. The dog will be fine without toys and a dog bed. Your cousin is the AH. Why even buy a dog in the first place if you can’t afford the costs? That is very cruel to the animal.

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These Reddit takes are spicy, but do they hit the mark? Or are they barking up the wrong tree with all that outrage?

This story jingles with the tension of holiday budgets and family expectations, showing how quickly a festive season can turn fraught. The Redditor’s choice to put family gifts first isn’t just about money—it’s about keeping promises to loved ones while setting boundaries with a cousin’s unrealistic demands. Helping a dog is noble, but not at the cost of your own plans. Have you ever faced a tough choice between family and a relative’s pet? What would you do? Let’s deck the halls with your thoughts.

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