AITA if I don’t want husband to go for overseas trip to see his parents when I will be 31 weeks pregnant?

A woman pregnant with her second child is facing major tension with her husband, who wants to fly overseas for 10 days to see his parents right when she’ll be 31 weeks along. After he missed the entire first pregnancy and birth due to pandemic borders, she feels he should prioritize being there now—especially since his parents plan to visit them soon after the baby arrives.

She kept this pregnancy private, with only close family knowing, and her own parents flying in at 30 weeks for support. But his push to go, even against his mom’s advice, has her questioning everything. Then an update flipped the story upside down with disturbing discoveries.

‘AITA if I don’t want husband to go for overseas trip to see his parents when I will be 31 weeks pregnant?’

The painful history with their first child sets the emotional backdrop:

I had my first daughter during pandemic and lockdowns. Husband was working overseas and planned to come before delivery but due to Australian border being shut, he was unable to...

I am pregnant again and have kept my pregnancy a secret from family and friends. Only my parents and in-laws know. My parents will be coming from overseas when I...

Husband wants to go overseas to see his parents for 10 days but I don't want him to go. He says he won't be able to go this year once...

AITA if I don't want him to go? I will be 31 weeks pregnant but I feel after last time of missing pregnancy and delivery of our firstborn , it...

The update reveals a brief resolution turned nightmare:

Update : First, I would like to say thank you to each and everyone of you for reading and commenting on my post. It is my first ever Reddit post...

I was hoping to reply to each and every one of you but with pregnancy fatigue and no time with a toddler, I decided to post an update. I was...

So two nights ago, I had a bit of a cry. Husband came and sat next to me and asked what happened and I told him that even though I...

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He said he wasn't planning to anyway but he sees my point and my point was that even though I would have my parents and I had my parents with...

Since he agreed so quickly without me having to beg or explain, I quickly ended that discussion and we went to sleep happily. Before I fast forward to today morning...

Ever since we got married 8 years ago, I have noticed him taking his phone to the toilet. I have expressed my disgust at it and asked him not to...

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I have asked him why it takes so long for him to do his business on the toilet and he says he suffers from constipation. I have told him to...

Since two years I have noticed he wakes up at 4 in the morning to spend an hour in the toilet. That's the time my daughter and I are fast...

I have never told him about this because then he will start hiding even more from me. I have tried snooping on his phone but he always has it locked...

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he does it so quickly and it's a complicated pattern so I am unable to memorise it lol. He leaves his phone out (recently realised it's always on silent and...

so I brushed off my fears that something could be happening. Post covid when we reunited, I felt that because we were apart, we would be closer than ever to...

but he felt distant and after an argument where I accused him of cheating, he handed me his phone to prove he wasn't. In front of him, I looked through...

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No dp, no posts, no following but he was following 40 female celebrities. I asked him about it and he shrugged and didn't find it odd like I did. I...

He said he wouldn't mind. I told him I didn't like it and he got defensive that they are politicians, UFC fighters and of course Hollywood and Bollywood stars and...

I didn't like it but had to leave it at that. Today morning, he woke up and unbeknownst to him, I was awake but had my eyes closed. He took...

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When he clicked on it, it took him to threads (didn't know he was on threads, and I don't know if it took him to app or a Google Chrome...

He tilted his phone away from me to scroll through the messages and a while later, went to the toilet most probably to respond. I wish I knew the tech...

because I always wonder how do other people catch their spouses when I can't even get through his phone because of the pattern locking etc. My heart has dropped that...

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Also my phone has a numerical password that he knows and I don't mind because I have nothing to hide. Should I ask to check his phone again? I checked...

Again, no profile pic or threads. It's like a ghost account. I feel sick that I am having a baby with him but he never acted fishy otherwise for me...

This starts as a clear case of mismatched priorities in late pregnancy, but the update uncovers deeper trust issues that change everything. At 31 weeks, with a history of separation during the first birth, any supportive partner would stay put—especially when parents are already planning a future visit.

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His insistence despite his own mom’s warnings raises eyebrows, and the sudden agreement feels too easy in hindsight. The secretive phone habits, ghost accounts, and hidden messages point to potential infidelity, common in stories where one partner pulls away emotionally.

Relationship therapists often see this: long-distance history can breed secrecy, and pregnancy stress amplifies suspicions. Direct confrontation risks denial without proof, but avoiding it builds resentment.

Practical next steps: Calmly ask to see his phone openly—if he refuses, that’s telling. Consider couples counseling ASAP, or individual therapy for support. Document concerns, prioritize your health and toddler, and lean on your parents when they arrive. You deserve transparency and presence, especially now.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The original post drew unanimous NTA judgments, calling out his selfishness—even his mom agreed.

Many highlighted the risk and insensitivity:

Apart-Ad-6518 − NTA That was a really tough circumstance with your first. I feel after last time of missing pregnancy and delivery of our firstborn , it should be him...

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He says that even his mum is telling him not to come but he wishes to go. Idk what's up there but that entrenches him deep in selfish A H...

Fianna9 − NTA- even his mom knows it’s a bad idea. His parents are coming to visit. He could have gone earlier in the pregnancy if he thinks he can’t...

He is just being inconsiderate. Second babies can come earlier, hopefully nothing happens but 31 weeks is close to the end of the pregnancy. He should be there

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FairyCompetent − NTA. So he wants to leave for the part of pregnancy where you will be the most helpless, and there is a chance he will miss the birth...

[Reddit User] − NTA. If his parents are coming after the baby is born, he doesn't need to go now. If even his mother is saying, "don't come", it makes...

IamIrene − NTA. At 31 weeks you are so close to your due date. And after missing the birth of your first child I'm not sure why he'd want to...

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Others sensed ulterior motives or advised strong boundaries:

Secure-Flight-291 − NTA. Ask him what it is about this trip that it has become a higher priority for him than being a respectful & caring husband, father and son...

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magiemaddi − Does he have another wife overseas? ? Maybe she's pregnant too lol Not really but ask him that and see what he says. NTA

Mummybearkh − Tell him that’s fine go see mummy that doesn’t even want you there but you may as well just save money as well and buy a one way...

because you had NO CHOICE this is completely disrespectful behaviour for a grown babyman I want I want well it’s not about what you want it’s about OP and the...

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and lack of support is shocking he selfish arrogant and has no place being a father if he can’t put his child and wife before his own selfish needs The...

toobasic2care − NTA he knows what he's doing. HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING.

GrandeJoe − NTA. It's just an incredibly selfish move by him that doesn't make any sense. Does he even LIKE you? Even his own mother knows how crazy this idea...

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RoyallyOakie − NTA. ..He shouldn't be going anywhere. You shouldn't even have to ask. I'm sorry, you deserve better support than this.

What began as frustration over a poorly timed trip has exploded into serious doubts about trust and commitment, right when she’s most vulnerable. Community support was overwhelming: NTA, with calls for him to step up.

The update’s red flags can’t be ignored. Would you demand phone access now, or wait for more proof? And how much secrecy is too much in a marriage, especially with a baby on the way?

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