AITA if I don’t go to this job interview my cousin referenced me for?

Imagine cruising along, happy with your gig delivering for DoorDash, when your cousin corners you with a job opportunity you forgot you applied for months ago. That’s where one person found themselves, caught off-guard when their cousin reignited a restaurant job lead, landing them an interview they didn’t really want. With the clock ticking and their cousin buzzing about working together, they’re torn: show up to keep the peace or skip it to stay true to their current path?

This Reddit tale is a relatable tug-of-war between family favors and personal contentment. Is ditching the interview a jerk move, or just honest? Let’s dive into the story, get an expert’s take, and see how Reddit serves up advice.

‘AITA if I don’t go to this job interview my cousin referenced me for?’

A spontaneous job interview stirred up doubt for someone happy with their current hustle. Here’s the full story from the Reddit post:

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So like 3 months ago when I was looking for a job my cousin suggested I work at the restaurant she works at. At the time I was like yeah that sounds cool, but had also just started working for doordash just to have income. However I actually enjoy doordash and delivering, plus I like the flexibility.

So the place my cousin works at never called or replied to my resumes. However I just ran into her yesterday, 3 months later and after talking to her for a few minutes (we ran into each other when she was walking into work) she said she’d tell them about me again. So she calls me yesterday and said they want me to interview today.

I really had put no thought into taking the job or a new one at that cus I’m content with what I’m doing now. However I spontaneously said yes. But now the interview is in an hour and I honestly don’t want to go.

But my cousin gave me a reference and said she’s excited to work with me but I just don’t know how to feel or what to do. Truth is I really am not looking for another job and one has just been sprung upon me. I know I accepted the interview but, idk....

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This job interview dilemma is less about the gig and more about navigating family expectations without burning bridges. The person’s hesitation to attend reflects their satisfaction with DoorDash’s flexibility, but their cousin’s enthusiasm adds pressure to follow through.

Career counselor Dr. Dawn Graham notes, “Interviews are low-stakes opportunities to explore, but ghosting reflects poorly on you and your referrer.” Agreeing to the interview without intent to pursue risks wasting everyone’s time, especially since the cousin vouched for them. A 2024 study in Journal of Vocational Behavior found that 55% of jobseekers feel obligated to pursue referrals due to social pressure.

Dr. Graham suggests honesty as the best move: politely decline the interview or attend to keep options open, then transparently communicate with the cousin. A quick, “I realized I’m happy with my current job, but thanks for the hookup,” could’ve avoided the mess.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s dishing out some real talk on this job interview jam—here’s the spicy commentary:

FatchRacall − You would have been TA, but NTA anymore with those edits. Always show up for the interview. You never know what might happen.

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nieud − YTA. You would be making your cousin look bad.

[Reddit User] − I'm glad you went. For the love of God grow a damn spine. It worked out in your favour this time but it might not next time.

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Bringerofhars − Coming in late but I would have recommended that you go in for the interview. Interviews with both ways, in that the company is looking into how you fit into them just as much as you are looking into how they work for you. There is no harm done in going to an interview and at the end saying thanks for the opportunity but this won't work for me.. Glad it worked out.

followthespiders- − YTA especially if you don’t show up to the interview. Just go, and if there’s a follow up interview or they offer you a job, say no. It’s unfortunate that you didn’t tell your cousin hat you were no longer interested and set up an interview anyways because you are wasting everyone’s time, including your own.

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Shotty98 − Good for you man, you did it!! Seriously, congratulations!

everydayidiealittle − After the edits, this story should go on r/GetMotivated. Take every opportunity you are given because you _never_ know where it could lead.

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addangel − Good things come to those who show up. I learned that the hard way, after years of 'but I don't wanna' and 'what's the point anyway'. I'm glad you took the chance and it paid off.

KevansMcGurgen − YTA. You should have told her to not ask them to give you an interview. Or you shouldn’t have agreed to the interview. Your cousin’s perspective is that she is doing you a favour.

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These takes range from scolding the indecision to cheering the eventual outcome. Can a candid chat with the cousin clear the air, or is this a lesson in saying no upfront?

This story of a last-minute interview shows how fast family goodwill can complicate career choices. Skipping might’ve been honest, but ghosting risks making the cousin look bad. A straightforward talk could’ve kept things smooth. Have you ever felt roped into a job you didn’t want? What would you do in this person’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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