AITA: I took my boyfriend’s clothes out of the dryer and put them on the bed without folding them, now he’s pissed?

The hum of a dryer broke into a tense standoff in a cozy apartment one lazy afternoon. A 24-year-old woman, juggling a full-time job and endless chores, faced a dilemma when her boyfriend’s laundry hogged the machine for days. With a quick move to shift his clothes to the bed—unfolded—she hoped to tackle her own smelly load. Instead, his furious outburst turned a simple act into a battleground, leaving her second-guessing herself.

This isn’t just about wrinkled shirts; it’s a peek into a relationship teetering under unequal burdens. Readers can almost feel her exhaustion and his irritation, wondering if she’s wrong to prioritize her needs or if he’s overreacting. It’s a relatable clash that hooks you from the start.

‘AITA: I took my boyfriend’s clothes out of the dryer and put them on the bed without folding them, now he’s pissed?’

Ok, I know this sounds trivial but I am a little bit upset and don’t know if I should be apologizing or standing my ground. My 37M boyfriend just moved in with me (24F). Things have been going OK aside from the occasional bickering. He has a ton of clothes.

When he moved in, he moved everything in with garbage bags and laundry baskets. The last 2 weeks or so I had spent hours doing his laundry, folding, hanging stuff up. I just can’t keep up. There’s too much and it’s too unorganized. I have one washer and one dryer.

He will leave clothes in the dryer for days (not sure if he expects me to fold them or what). Well I had to wash my clothes. They had been in the wash maybe 15 hours and clothes get a weird smell if they sit too long. I work during the day, so I didn’t really have time to fold my boyfriends laundry;

I just moved the clothes from the dryer to the bed so I could put my clothes in the dryer. He lost it on me and said you can’t fold clothes when they’re cold, as in not fresh out of the dryer and that I wasn’t doing him any favors moving it and that he’d never do that to me. 

Basically said he would have to rewash everything (not sure why). Well of course he’d never do that to me because I remove my clothes once they’re done but that’s beside the point. AITA for taking his clothes out of the dryer and not folding them?

I feel like I might be. On the other hand, I work full time and do most of the cleaning and cooking and I feel it’s not fair he just expected me to fold all his clothes or just wait however many days it would take him to do it before doing my own laundry.

This laundry spat reveals more than a messy dryer—it’s a clash of expectations in a budding cohabitation. The 24-year-old, working full-time and handling most chores, moved her 37-year-old boyfriend’s clothes to free up the dryer, only for him to explode over the lack of folding. His claim that “cold clothes can’t be folded” feels like a flimsy excuse, hinting at entitlement rather than logic, especially since she’s already shouldered his laundry for weeks.

This mirrors a broader issue: unequal chore division in relationships, often worsened by age or power imbalances. A 2023 study by the Council on Contemporary Families found 60% of young couples report chore disputes, with women disproportionately burdened. The boyfriend’s reaction suggests he may expect her to fill a caretaker role, a dynamic ripe for strain.

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Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, notes in a 2022 article, “Fairness in chores builds trust. When one partner feels exploited, resentment festers unless roles are renegotiated”. Here, she might calmly propose splitting tasks, setting clear boundaries on laundry use.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit hive mind lit up with spicy takes, blending humor with hard truths. Here’s what they had to say about this domestic dust-up:

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residentcaprice - Nta. The age difference just sends flags. By his deliberate incompetence, he's slowly conditioning You to do his housework because bickering takes too much effort vs folding his clothes for him. Just keep tossing them out. Eventually he will run out of clothes and has to do them himself. Please make sure YOU don't help him like you did the other time.

0biterdicta - NTA OP. He can't be hogging the dryer for days then get mad when you move his stuff to do your own laundry.. My 37M boyfriend just moved in with me (24F).. Why do I get the sense this is only the tip of the iceberg with problems here?

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designated_floater - NTA. This has all the markers of an emotionally abusive relationship in the making. He is nearly old enough to be your parent. Red 🚩 #1. He is blaming you for things he should be doing. Red 🚩 #2. He is gaslighting you about your response...I know because you're already doubting yourself this quickly into moving in together. Red 🚩 #3. Girl...run!

mikey_weasel - NTA. Of course not why is this your job to be his maid? Also damn just had a look at your post history. Why are you with this guy? You are 24 and have your whole life ahead of you. 

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A life that does not have to be filled with doing this guys laundry if you don't want it to Edit: Also OP just throwing this out there, is this your first 'adult' relationship? You are 24 now and it sounds like you got together when you were about 22 (and he was 35).

MamaFen - Girl, YTA here. Not for leaving your boyfriend's clothes unfolded, however. YOU'RE THE AH HERE BECAUSE YOU KNEW MONTHS AGO HE'S BEEN BRINGING ANOTHER WOMAN TO YOUR HOUSE BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU'RE STILL LETTING HIM RUN YOU LIKE A TOY CAR!.

How much more is it gonna take for you to get rid of this toxic slag-dump?. ​ And before I get chewed for the judgement - if a horde of internet strangers have told you ***more than once*** that this guy is dangerous to you,

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and you're ignoring everyone and still coming back asking more of the same kind of questions because you refuse to change the situation, then you're not listening to what we're saying in the first place.

Crafty-Addition9105 - He lost it on you when you moved his clothes from a dryer where he sometimes leaves clothes for days? And you 'work full time and do most of the cleaning and cooking.' NTA. OP. You're not his maid or his mother. Why are you in this relationship?

Livid-Flan - NTA. I have trouble believing that a 37 yr old man thinks that clothes magically stay warm as long as they aren't removed from the dryer. I can however believe that you are dating a 37 yr old who thinks that if he leaves it long enough you'll do it for him. You bypassed his manipulation tactic and now he's mad.

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clusterf_ck - Has your bf assigned you duties his mother used to do? First - NTA. Second, this is a red flag for a needy man, keep alert & good luck. :)

bicciesx - You’ve already posted about problems with this boyfriend, cheating and being unhappy. You’ve said before you want to dump him. Do it. He’s absolutely awful and you can do so much better.

[Reddit User] - A grown ass man who can't even do his own laundry. You should re-consider the relationship.

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These comments crackle with wit, but do they oversimplify a complex dynamic? The consensus leans toward her, yet the backstory hints at deeper issues worth pondering.

This laundry row is a small spark in a bigger fire of fairness and respect. The 24-year-old’s move wasn’t malicious—it was survival amid an uneven partnership. Her boyfriend’s reaction, though dramatic, might stem from his own adjustment struggles. Can they find a middle ground, or is this a sign of bigger cracks? What would you do if chores turned into a battlefield? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation rolling!

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