AITA I did not wait for my wife to get dressed?

Picture a ticking clock, a husband pacing by the door, ready for his best friend’s wedding anniversary bash. His wife, still swapping dresses and redoing makeup, is running them late—again. After reminders and a salon appointment, he snaps, leaving without her, sparking tears and a heated phone call.

This Reddit tale is a sharp dive into the clash of punctuality and personal prep. Was his solo exit a justified stand against chronic tardiness, or a harsh move that left his wife humiliated? It’s a story that buzzes with frustration, love, and the cost of being late, inviting readers to pick a side.

‘AITA I did not wait for my wife to get dressed?’

This Reddit post lays out a husband’s breaking point with his wife’s lateness. Here’s his story, raw and unfiltered:

I(26M) and my wife(22F) have been married for a year. She usually takes an extremely long time to get dressed and sometimes if she's not happy with the look she'll ask me to wait and wear another dress and do the makeup again. So we most often get late to events. Today, I had to go to my best friend's home for his wedding anniversary.

So I told her to get ready on time. I even reminded her like 4 hours prior, I got her a salon appointment, etc.. As usual she was running us late. My friend and his wife were stalling the celebratiom just for me. I got mad at my wife and told her to find a way to my friend's place herself and that I was leaving without her..

She requested me to wait for her but I just left without her. She didn't come at all and called me saying she doesn't want to come on her own because she doesn't want all the attention to be on her due to being late. I told her to do as she pleases and that she needs to be punctual if she wants to come somewhere with me. She started crying and cut the call.. AITA?

This marital spat is less about dresses and more about respect for time—both each other’s and others’. The wife’s habitual lateness, despite reminders and support, signals a disregard for shared commitments, frustrating her husband. His decision to leave, while drastic, was a boundary set after repeated delays.

Relationship expert Dr. Harriet Lerner notes, “Chronic lateness can erode trust, signaling one partner’s needs trump the other’s” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Social Psychology found that 68% of people view habitual tardiness as disrespectful in relationships (Source). The wife’s tears suggest insecurity or anxiety, as some Redditors speculated, but her refusal to attend alone hints at avoiding accountability.

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The husband could’ve set clearer consequences earlier, like a firm departure time. “Discuss triggers calmly and agree on solutions,” Lerner advises. A heart-to-heart about her prep habits—perhaps exploring underlying issues like anxiety—could prevent future clashes. He might suggest a compromise, like shorter prep for casual events.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit dished out takes as timely as a train schedule. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Being late shows she doesn't respect their time, or yours.

ScienceNotKids − NTA. She's being self absorbed.

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Perogalicious − Definitely NTA. Honestly, your wife sounds extremely insecure. I get that, I'm insecure myself, but her insecurity is making her selfish, spoiled and entitled. She had plenty of time to get ready. Next time you have to go somewhere, inform her that you will be leaving with or without her, at the appointed time.

And FOLLOW THROUGH if she is late. Maybe she'll come to the realization that the world does not revolve around what dress she chooses to wear (and then not wear). I hope your friend had a lovely wedding anniversary.

claypolejr − NTA. It's so disrespectful. It's not that she even had four hours notice. This was an anniversary that must have been planned ages in advance. Honestly I think she wants the attention all on her but the one time she was called out on it she decided to make a scene, didn't attend, and oh no! she _still_ got to make it all about her.

LocalWrangler8152 − Does she have self-esteem issues? Anxiety? Depression signs maybe? Constantly being late makes her an ah, but also - along with not wanting attention and crying - is a huge sign. Does she seem genuinely ok and happy?. ESH because these things don’t just come out of nowhere and you two are supposed to be a team.

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UnencumberedChipmunk − Nta. You’ve talked about this and she literally doesn’t care. You made her care in the only way possible.. She deserved to be left behind.

AdorableBiscotti394 − NTA Definitely not. She was being inconsiderate to the couple celebrating their anniversary. It wasn’t about her. It was about them.

Prof_Fuzzy_Wuzzy − NTA. Your wife sounds like those people who come back late to a cruise and make 5000 people wait because their time is more important than everyone else's. S**ew that. TBH I would have dumped someone like that ages ago.

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Lola_M1224 − NTA. I hate when people are late. It's so rude and the late person is stating their time is more important. It takes literally no one four hours to get ready.

Nahdiduseemymail88 − NTA. You even reminded her and everything. Plus it was an inconvenience if there are other people involved. No your wife has to manage her time better and not be late to events. Being late to things is a pet peeve for me so I’m fairly biased.

These Reddit opinions are as pointed as a stopwatch, but do they miss the deeper roots of the wife’s behavior?

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This story is a zesty mix of principle, patience, and a party missed. The husband’s stand for punctuality drew a line, but his wife’s tears hint at more than just a slow prep routine. Could a softer approach or a joint plan have kept them on time and in sync? What would you do if your partner’s habits delayed your plans? Share your thoughts—have you ever had to enforce a tough boundary to keep things on track?

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