AITA for yelling that I have nothing to do with my ex’s unborn child because I am not the mother?

Jonathan Hours
Comments 0 Comments

In a whirlwind of tangled hearts and unexpected pregnancies, a young woman’s fresh start with her on-again, off-again partner hit a wall when his past roared back. Just two months into their serious commitment, a bombshell dropped: his ex from years ago is pregnant from a fling during their breakup. As he begged her to stay and his family pushed her to play mom, she hit her limit, unleashing a fiery voice message to all, declaring she’s not the mother and wants out. Reddit’s buzzing with this drama.

Caught between her ex’s pleas, his family’s guilt trips, and an angry bio-mom, she’s questioning if her outburst went too far. Was she right to slam the door on this baby saga, or did her temper torch bridges best left standing? Let’s unravel this messy knot of love, loyalty, and loud exits.

‘AITA for yelling that I have nothing to do with my ex’s unborn child because I am not the mother?’

I (25f) was in an on and off again casual relationship with Jeremy (27m) for over 4 years. What I mean by that is we were never seriously dating but we were exclusive. So no sleeping with others and that wasn't because we were planning to be together at the end but to reduce the risk of STDs or pregnancies and paternity questioning.

I had met his family a few times. They liked me but I wasn't around them very much. Kinda the point of being casual and everything. Feelings did develop near the end of our on and off again period and we broke up for real for 6 months. He told me he didn't want it to end. I wasn't sure he was serious enough about making a serious relationship work.

I told him that. I was open to one but some of his actions made me doubt. Four months ago he came to me and told me he had worked on himself and he was ready to be a true partner. We talked it out and we got back together for real this time. I spent some time around his family this time and we talked about the future and our goals.

Two months into our serious relationship his ex (from before the start of our original relationship) announced she was pregnant and that the two of them had slept together while he and I were broken up for the 6 month period. He didn't deny it but he said he didn't want her.

It was blowing off steam one weekend and how he was still committed to me and there would be nobody else ever because I was it for him. I told him I didn't want to be involved in a baby thing. That he was having a kid and I wasn't and I was out. Since that point he has repeatedly tried to get me to change my mind.

The mother of his child has tried to talk to me so she can yell about how unfair it is. And his family have begged me to come back, that they love me and never liked her and how he and the baby need me and they need me and they don't want to be left dealing with the actual mother and how good of a mom I would be.

I was blocking people all over the place. But in the end I lost my temper and I set up a group chat with all of them on a different number and yelled in a voice message that I am not the mother of my ex's unborn child and therefore I have nothing to do with this baby or the situation and I won't take him back, I won't have anything to do with this and if telling them all in one place needed to happen then here it was.

I stayed in the group for a few hours before growing tired of the mother of the child being outraged that I would speak to her like that, where my ex was pleading and saying I couldn't d**p him when he didn't cheat and his family saying how unfair I was being and how needed I was. Now I kinda regret doing it because I wonder if they'll actually leave me alone or still look for ways to contact me and it might be more pissy than before. AITA?

This group chat blowup is a raw cry for boundaries in a storm of unwanted responsibility. The woman’s refusal to step into a parental role for her ex’s unborn child protects her autonomy, while the relentless pressure from him, his family, and even the bio-mom screams of misplaced expectations. Her voice message, though heated, was a last resort to reclaim her space.

Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, notes, “When others demand you carry their burdens, saying no is an act of self-preservation, not selfishness.” The ex’s family framing her as the “needed” mom—while dismissing the actual mother—shows a toxic push to offload their issues. Her ex’s claim of fidelity post-fling doesn’t erase the new reality: a lifelong tie to another woman.

Unwanted family roles are common traps. A 2023 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study found 38% of young adults face pressure to fix others’ crises, often at personal cost. The bio-mom’s outrage and the family’s begging suggest they want her to absorb the chaos, not share it.

For peace, Gibson suggests firm, consistent limits. Blocking was smart, but the group chat kept the door ajar—leaving might’ve been wiser. She could send one final, calm message: no contact, no involvement, then mute for good. Therapy could help her process the guilt and dodge future drama.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s comment crew is rallying with a mix of high-fives and warnings, cheering her exit from this wild ride. Here’s a peek at their spicy takes—buckle up! These Reddit zaps are electric, but do they light the way to freedom or fan the drama flames?

Welshie_Fan − Totally NTA. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Just go no contact with everyone at this point.

Winter-Rest-1674 − NTA girl would be playing mother while the bio mom is out living her best life, the dad is still acting like he don’t have a child and the family would be gaslighting you about how you need to step up more and be more involved. I am glad you saved yourself the headache. Do not go back.

Ok-Somewhere911 − Absolutely NTA and what is wrong with his family? Telling you what an amazing mother you'd be? That baby *has* a mother and it's not you, absolutely wild that they're hoping you'll just what? Swoop in and take over as mommy because they don't like the *actual* mother? 

I don't really understand why his ex is pissed at you though, surely she should be happy you're stepping away so he can focus on his child? . Whatever the case these people are all f**king nuts and you're far better off without them in your life. 

Ok_Childhood_9774 − NTA, and you were smart to tap out of this shitshow early on. Though I'm not sure why his ex wants you involved with their baby? Seems odd to me. Is she giving up custody?

iknowsomethings2 − NTA. His actions have consequences. He had s** with his ex, that then resulted in a pregnancy, why would you want anything to do with that mess?!. You’d be tied to that woman for life. Absolutely not. Also, he should get a paternity test. I would laugh if it turns out the baby isn’t even his, but after his and his families behaviour you wouldn’t even get back with him if that was the case, you don’t want to deal with emotionally manipulative people.

Repulsive-Form-3458 − NTA. This is not your problem. Good on you for breaking it off this early, I can imagine how much worse they would be if you

Zyrabloom − You were mad patient tbh like they pushed u for way too long and u snapped after gettin harassed from all angles. u owe none of them anything, especially when he made his choices and now don’t wanna deal w the consequences.

the baby ain’t yours, the drama ain’t yours, and it’s wild how his fam tryna guilt u into raising someone else’s kid like it’s ur responsibility. u don’t need that mess, block em again and keep it movin bec they’ll def try more bs. proud of u for standin ur ground.

ConstructionNo9678 − The whole

Even if this guy turns out to be a s**tty dad, you're likely going to get babysitting duties dumped on you, which is why his ex is trying to keep you around so much. Just leave the chat and keep them all blocked. You would be TA to yourself if you continued the drama.

Perfect_Ring3489 − Nta.stop feeding the gremlins and remove yourself from the toxic situation

Free-Place-3930 − NTA. None of this is a YOU problem.

This baby drama proves how fast others’ choices can tangle your life, especially when family piles on the guilt. The woman’s fiery stand to stay out of her ex’s unborn child’s world was her breaking point, but now she’s wondering if the mic drop was too loud. Was she right to yell her truth, or should she have ghosted quietly? What would you do when a whole clan begs you to fix their mess? Drop your thoughts, stories, or advice in the comments—let’s cut through this chaos together!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *