AITA for yelling at my sister and telling her I want my money back?

The air was thick with tension in a quiet suburban home, where a brother’s protective instincts flared like a match in a storm. When a man learned his sister Rachel and her young daughter Katrina were mistreated under the guise of family aid, his heart sank. Rachel, fresh from a broken marriage, had leaned on family for support, only to face a harsh reality.

The betrayal sparked a fiery confrontation, leaving readers wondering: where does family loyalty end and accountability begin? This tale of misplaced trust and a brother’s righteous anger unfolds with raw emotion, pulling us into a drama that feels all too real. As the story unravels, it’s hard not to root for justice while questioning the messy lines of family ties.

‘AITA for yelling at my sister and telling her I want my money back?’

My (40m) sister, Rachel (29f) escaped a bad marriage with her daughter Katrina (8f) almost 8 months ago. My other sister Jillian (34f) lived in the same state as them so she and her husband offered to take them in and they set up a gofundme to help Rachel get back on her feet. I donated $1,000.

ADVERTISEMENT

I used to call or FaceTime Rachel and Katrina at least twice a week when they were staying with Jillian and they always insisted everything was fine and they were happy there. Then 2 months ago, Rachel called me and asked if she could stay with me for a while. Jillian and her husband kicked them out because they couldn't pay rent anymore.

Apparently all of the money raised from the gofundme was used to pay rent to Jillian and her husband. Additionally, Rachel has been taking care of their kids (2f and 5m) full time as well as doing all the cooking and cleaning while paying rent for her and her daughter to sleep on the floor of the kids' playroom.

I flew them out and they've been staying with me, my wife (38f), and our kids (7f, 9m, 10m) since. When Rachel told me everything, I called Jillian and berated her for how she treated Rachel and Katrina. She tried to defend it by saying they needed the money and that it was expensive having them living there.

I lost my temper and told her that she's full of s**t and demanded that she give me my money back. Jillian tried to argue that she needs that money for her kids but she eventually returned it. Now she's telling the family that I'm a monster that took money from her and her kids and I'm starting to doubt myself.. AITA for demanding that my sister gives me my money back.

ADVERTISEMENT

Family dynamics can turn into a tangled web when money and expectations collide. This story highlights a painful clash of intentions, where a supposed act of charity became a burden. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, “Trust is built in small moments, but it’s shattered when intentions are unclear or exploitative” . Here, Jillian’s actions—using GoFundMe funds for personal gain while overworking Rachel—betrayed that trust, leaving Rachel vulnerable.

Rachel’s situation reflects a broader issue: financial exploitation within families. A 2019 study by the National Center on Elder Abuse notes that family members are often perpetrators of financial abuse, with 14.9% of cases involving relatives . Jillian’s demand for rent and labor from Rachel, while pocketing donations, mirrors this troubling pattern. The brother’s outrage was understandable—he saw Rachel’s desperation weaponized.

Dr. Gottman’s advice on rebuilding trust emphasizes clear communication and accountability. Jillian’s defense of needing the money for her kids doesn’t hold up when Rachel was already overcompensating through unpaid labor. The brother’s demand for a refund was a stand against exploitation, though his heated approach stirred family drama. For Rachel, setting boundaries and seeking legal advice about misused funds could prevent future conflicts. Families navigating similar issues should prioritize transparency and mutual support to avoid such rifts.

ADVERTISEMENT

The brother’s actions, while emotionally charged, shine a light on standing up for fairness. Readers can learn from this: clear expectations in family aid prevent heartache. Discussing boundaries upfront, as experts suggest, keeps generosity from turning sour.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for this family showdown. Here’s the raw take from the crowd, buzzing with cheers and jeers:

ADVERTISEMENT

NoCardiologist1461 − NTA. Jillian should’ve made it clear that she could not host them, or be up front about taking the money for her own family. It’s understandable that someone would want to be compensated for extra cost of living, but it sounds like Rachel compensated already with the childcare, cooking and cleaning. Didn’t Jillian save money from not having to pay for childcare? How did she do that before?

Damn_Dutchman − Report the gofundme as it's clearly only going to Jillian.. NTA

ADVERTISEMENT

concernedreader1982 − N T A. Make sure, if she's blasting you, you fill the family in on facts.. Fact: She set up a GoFundMe to help Rachel 'get back on her feet.'. Fact: She made Rachel take care of her two children as well as all domestic household chores for free. Fact: Rachel and her daughter were made to sleep on the floor of a bedroom. Fact: Rachel was made to pay rent.

Fact: Jillian used all the GoFundMe money for her own personal gain. Fact: Jillian and husband kicked sister and daughter out of house b/c they were no longer benefitting them financial. Fact: Your sister and her husband are d\*cks Once you present all these facts, and remember why you got mad in the first place, then your family, and you, will understand how low your sister and BIL are.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − This is what's called a **scam**. She used a family member as a opportunity to make some quick cash. I'm glad you called her out on it!

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your older sister used your younger sister like a slave. She doesn’t deserve rent AND childcare and doing both was incredibly awful of her. Wow. Just wow.

ADVERTISEMENT

yokoandy − NTA, but this probably isn't going to end well for you with the rest of the family. Jillian looked at Rachel's situation and saw someone too desperate to say no to whatever was asked. Adding two people into a house that's already stretched thin isn't easy, but it definitely can be done without turning the new person into a servant.

Jillian is wrong in every aspect of this situation. If a lot of your family acts like Jillian, you're going to get a lot of hate from them. 'What's done is done'. 'You can't expect Rachel to stay there for free'. 'It's the least Rachel could do because Jillian was doing so much for her'. And on and on.

ADVERTISEMENT

You did the right thing helping out Rachel. If you don't need the money, I personally feel that giving it back to Rachel would be the best solution. Stand your ground with your family, support your sister and niece, and f**k everybody's opinion.

MoyamoyaWarrior − NTA. YIKES Jillian sounds insanely toxic and like she was taking advantage of your other sister. If the GoFund me funds were given to her maybe she could have gotten out on her own long ago.

ADVERTISEMENT

Special_Koala_1093 − NTA. They set up the donations for your sister get back on her feet, not pay them to be their cook and babysitter. 'Helping back on her feet' imo means using the money for getting her a new place and getting her things in order. If she couldn't afford helping them she should have said so.

RoyallyOakie − NTA...Jillian is an oppotunist posing as a savior. I hope things get better for Rachel and Katrina.

ADVERTISEMENT

Lisbei − NTA. you did the right thing - it's your other sister who's the monster and exploited her own younger sister when she was at her lowest point.

These Redditors rallied behind the brother’s fury, calling Jillian’s moves a blatant scam. Some praised his protective streak, while others warned of family fallout. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the drama?

This story of family betrayal and a brother’s bold stand leaves us grappling with tough questions about loyalty and fairness. The brother’s anger was a spark that lit up a murky situation, but it also stirred a family storm. Rachel and Katrina’s plight reminds us how quickly help can turn into harm without clear intentions. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences—how do you navigate family drama when money’s involved?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *