AITA for yelling at my parents and calling them unfair over a hotel booking?

A family vacation to a sunny coastal city turned stormy when a 21-year-old man discovered his parents booked him and his boyfriend a two-bed hotel room, while his sister and her boyfriend shared a single bed. Stunned by the disparity and his parents’ refusal to budge, the OP unleashed his frustration, yelling about their unfairness, only to feel guilty for his outburst and the strain it put on his boyfriend. Now, he’s questioning if he went too far.

This AITA post unpacks a raw clash of family expectations, hidden biases, and personal dignity. Reddit’s rallying behind the OP, calling out blatant homophobia, but was his reaction justified, or overly heated? Let’s check into this vacation drama, where beds and beliefs collide.

‘AITA for yelling at my parents and calling them unfair over a hotel booking?’

A hotel booking revealed a painful double standard, sparking a family feud. Here’s the Reddit user’s story in their own words:

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So my (21M) parents have booked a vacation and are inviting me and my siblings (23F, 25M) and our partners (my bf 20M, sister's bf 24M (my brother is single so is bringing a friend instead). The vacation is still in our country it's just in a more touristy coastal city.

Earlier today my parents called and asked if we wanted any upgrades to our rooms (they are booking the rooms, we are transferring them the money for any extra upgrades). When I told them the upgrades I wanted the price they told me didn't match the one on the website. I asked if they could double-check because the price they are telling me is $60 more than on the website.

The check and send me the same price. Then they send me a link and it takes me to the room upgrade page. I finally figure out that they are telling me the upgrade price for a room with two beds, instead of a room with one bed. I thought that they may have gotten mine and my brother's bookings messed up so I reminded them that I'm bringing my boyfriend, not a friend.

They kept insisting on the two-bed room. I told them not to book yet and let me talk to my bf. I actually called my sister, I wanted to vent to her how I found it a little unfair that we weren't allowed to share a bed with our partners. but when I told my sister she told me that our parents book her and her bf a room with one bed. I was in shock.

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My parents have never shown any disappointment towards my sexuality or my bf as a person so this really stumped me. I called them up and told them that I want a room with one bed, they told me that that wasn't going to happen. I told them that I knew that my sister was sharing a bed with her boyfriend, they still wouldn't budge.

My bf was in the room and he just said it was fine, that he wouldn't go if it upset my parents. this made me more upset at them. I yelled at them, I told them that what they were doing was unfair and then hung up on them. now if feel like an ass for:. 1.) Yelling at them, that was really immature of me and

2.) For possibly making things more awkward for my bf. Also, he blames himself for me fighting with my parents (which he f**king shouldn't). and. 3.) they are the ones paying for the rooms and stuff so, AITA?

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This hotel room row exposes the sting of covert discrimination within families. The OP’s parents’ insistence on a two-bed room for him and his boyfriend, while granting his sister a one-bed room, signals a clear bias, likely rooted in homophobia, despite their prior acceptance of OP’s sexuality. Their refusal to explain or adjust the arrangement deepens the hurt, undermining the equality OP expected.

Dr. Ilan Meyer, an expert on minority stress, notes, “Discriminatory actions from family, even subtle ones, can profoundly impact LGBTQ+ individuals’ sense of belonging” (Source). The parents’ opaque decision-making aligns with patterns of microaggressions, as a 2023 Journal of Family Psychology study found that 50% of queer individuals report unequal treatment in family settings compared to heterosexual siblings (Source).

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This ties to broader issues of fairness and family allyship. The OP’s outburst, while heated, stemmed from betrayal, and his boyfriend’s willingness to bow out highlights the emotional toll. Advice: OP could write a calm letter to his parents, stating, “Your room choice felt discriminatory and hurtful; I need clarity on why you treated my relationship differently.” He might consider skipping the vacation, as Reddit suggests, to prioritize his well-being, and discuss with his boyfriend how to navigate family ties. Therapy could help process this rejection.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit checked in with fierce support, unpacking the parents’ bias with sharp critiques. Here’s what the community had to say about this room-rate ruckus:

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edengonedark − NTA.. This is blatant h**ophobic reasoning. All of the Y-T-As make no sense. It would be different if your sister and her boyfriend also had to sleep in separate beds, but the REASONING behind your parents' decision is clearly twisted in h**ophobic views.. That is an a**hole move no matter which way you look at it.

GoodIntelligent2867 − Nta..but why even vacation with people who cannot respect your relationship.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your parents are, though. The fact that they're paying for it means nothing. Plenty of terrible people use the 'I paid for it' excuse as a reason to justify being a terrible person.

This is them trying to involve themselves in your love life, and control what you can and cannot do with your boyfriend. It's s**tty, and you and your BF deserve better. S**ew them. If they can't be decent human beings, than you have no reason to go play by their rules when it comes to YOUR relationship.

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miasabine − NTA, and I honestly don’t know what the f**k all the other judgements are about. This isn’t about wanting a bigger bed, this is about clear and blatant homophobia on the part of your parents.

Whether they’re paying and whether you yelled then becomes completely immaterial as it stops being about sleeping in separate beds and starts being about their clear distaste for a part of your identity and that of your boyfriend. That is unacceptable, and your parents are clearly aware that their behaviour is utterly appalling, or they would have.

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1. Told you in advance about the room arrangements and been up front about it. 2. Been able to explain and justify their decision.. They have not done either. If I were you, I would opt the f**k out of this “vacation”. I would tell them that I am shocked and appalled at this new side of them and they either respect every last part of you or none of you.

I’d tell them I’m not even sure I can enjoy a relationship with them under these circumstances, let alone a vacation. I would then tell them that I need some space and time to think and evaluate how to move forward if that’s even possible, and you’d like them to respect that.

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I would then think about whether my relationship with them was worth feeling and being treated like I was less worthy of respect and consideration than my siblings, based entirely on something outside my control.

Nobody should make you feel this way, least of all your parents. Maybe if you communicate to them, in a calm way, just how hurtful this is and just how deep this cuts, they’ll get a bit of a wake-up call and realise what they’ve done. If not, at least they’ve shown their true colours and you can decide how to deal with them from that point on. I wish you the best of luck.

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Nola70132 − NTA. It’s not much of a vacation to be insulted, even on a nice beach. I just wouldn’t go. Let them see if they can so easily lift you out of the family. It’s pretty much the same if you change male partner to black wife. Would they demand separate beds then? It’s all prejudice.

Oddly_Yours − Absolutely NTA. Homophobia isn’t covered under “my house my rules”. If they are only keeping the gay couple from sharing a bed then they have A LOT of explaining to do. That’s such a hurtful thing for them to do. I think you were more than justified in being upset and hopefully they are accountable for their actions rather than defensive.

thejudganaut − NTA. You were surprised and hurt that they didn't accept you and your relationship in the way that you had believed. That really sucks. Your reaction was totally understandable.

[Reddit User] − Edit: Misread the OP but my advice is the same: buy your own or refuse to go. NTA. You are paying for the room. They're just the middleman. Yes, they're your parents, but you're an adult and you get to make your own choices. Imagine if your booking agent refused to give you a room with 1 bed.. You should buy your own room directly, or refuse to go.

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Why_Are_Moths_Dusty − NTA. Generally I'd say you can't complain as you're not paying. However there's a very clear bias shown towards you and your boyfriend in comparison with your sister. Theyre acting as if your relationship is shameful by making it seem as if you're simply sharing a room with a friend, not a partner.

I don't want to be too judgmental about your parents as you say generally they seem accepting. It's hard to get a picture from one incident. It might be a good idea to have a chat with them and open up a conversation. It may lead to an argument but hopefully if you stay calm you can educate them.. Good luck.

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HeyAdoraWink − NTA. Your parents are h**ophobic.

These Reddit reviews slam the parents’ prejudice, but do they miss the nuance of family dynamics? Is OP’s yell a righteous stand or a step too far?

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This vacation saga sizzles with the pain of unequal treatment and a son’s stand against family bias. The OP’s outburst over his parents’ two-bed booking for him and his boyfriend won Reddit’s applause, but left him grappling with guilt and a strained family tie. Was his anger a fair response to homophobia, or could he have checked his temper? Have you faced family rules that singled you out? What would you do to reclaim your place—or walk away? Book your thoughts below and keep the convo open!

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