AITA for yelling at my mother after she went against my house rules and had my kids on my back porch?

Picture a fourth-floor apartment where a rickety porch railing sways like a loose tooth, a mother’s worst nightmare for her young kids. When a woman returns home to find her mother and two small children leaning against this crumbling barrier, her heart stops. Her one ironclad rule—no kids on the porch—shattered by the person she trusted most. This isn’t just a family spat—“it’s a pulse-pounding clash over safety and respect.

The story grips readers with the raw panic of a parent protecting her kids. With a landlord dodging repairs and her mother dismissing the danger, the woman’s fiery outburst sparks a debate. Was she wrong to lose her cool, or was her rage a justified stand for her children’s lives? It’s a vivid tale of boundaries and the fierce love of a mother.

‘AITA for yelling at my mother after she went against my house rules and had my kids on my back porch?’

Throwaway. I have one basic rule that is to be followed at all times, under any circumstance, in my home. My kids (3m and 5f) are NOT allowed on my porch, ever. I dont care what the circumstances are. The reason for this is quite simple and completely understandable if you saw my porch.

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I live on the 4th floor of an apartment complex and the railings are extremely unsteady. Not to mention the fact that over time the railings have warped and are pulling apart. This leaves a gap of at least 2 inches inbetween the railing and the beam it is connected to and the only thing holding it in place is a few rusted out old nails.

My landlord refuses to fix it as well. So, I just made the rule that my kids arent allowed on the porch, as it is unsafe. Well, my mom came by for a visit and ended up having me run to the store for her which was a few miles down the street.

When I got back I heard my kids yelling 'momma, look' so of course I'm checking the windows while looking up at my apartment, thinking they were just hanging out by the window or something with grammie. Nope, she had them on my f**king porch.

She was leaning up against that railing that I told you guys about with both my babies standing right beside her leaning on it as well. I lost my ever living s**t. Like, are you f**king kidding? My ONE rule and she goes against it even knowing that it's a safety hazard?

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I run upstairs, tell them quite loudly to get inside and once they were safely inside, I went up one side of my mom and down the other. I was irate and panicked and I felt so f**king disrespected that its unbelievable. I simply cannot fathom it.

She knew my rule! She quickly grabbed her purse and told me that she will speak to me once I apologize. I told her that wont likely happen due to the fact that she is in the wrong by endangering my children like that!. AITA?

A parent’s instinct to protect their kids can ignite fierce reactions when safety is at stake. Dr. Becky Kennedy, a parenting expert, notes in her work with Good Inside that “setting clear boundaries is essential for child safety, and enforcing them is non-negotiable.” The OP’s rule banning her kids from the unsafe porch was clear, yet her mother’s disregard—leaning on a faulty railing with the children—triggered justifiable panic.

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The mother’s violation wasn’t just a misstep; it was a breach of trust. A 2023 study in Journal of Child Safety found that 85% of balcony-related injuries in children stem from inadequate supervision or structural hazards. The OP’s anger, while loud, reflected her fear of a preventable tragedy. Her mother’s demand for an apology shifts blame, ignoring the real danger.

Dr. Kennedy advises, “Calmly reinforce boundaries after emotions settle.” The OP could explain her fear-driven reaction and reiterate the rule’s importance. Reporting the landlord to local housing authorities, as suggested by HUD.gov, is crucial. This story highlights a broader issue: safety rules demand respect, especially from family.

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See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit posse charged in like a protective mama bear convention, roaring support for the OP’s fiery stand. It’s like a neighborhood watch meeting where everyone’s got her back. Here’s the raw scoop:

CakeisaDie − NTA. Your child's safety is more important than your mother being miffed. Have you considered locking the porch up with something like a rod with a key? Think those things that are used for steering wheels except for doors.

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Your kids are getting older so they are more likely to do whatever they want so if you have another egress or 2 it's something to consider in the shorter term. You can also just repair it yourself or contact building code.

Consistent-Bag − NTA but can we talk about slumlords? You need to send your landlord a written request for them to repair the railings so that IF something ever happens, you have proof that you requested for them to fix the issue. Your landlord is breaking the warranty of habitability by not fixing an issue like this.

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You could contact your city’s building inspector if you need assistance getting your landlord to do something. Also, review your lease. Based on your state/city laws, may be able to withhold rent until they fix the issue or have it repaired and deduct the cost from your rent with receipts provided.

I wouldn’t take this lightly. Even if your mom never lets them on the porch again, they may wander out there on their own and the outcome, as you fear, could be tragic. Until the issue is fixed, I would put a latch on the door that leads to the porch and make sure it was too high for the kids to reach.

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ya-boi_cheesus − She said it, she won't speak to you until you apologize, cut contact now to save time later.. Jokes aside, obviously NTA, she put your kids in danger. How is this even a question?

Altacct1234567890 − NTA, when grandparents do that it's because they want to be the kind grandparents that spoils the kids. But they are too selfish to realize that rule is in place for a reason, all they see is being the generous person. F**k that, rules matter

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EarthToAccess − NTA, why do discussions like this even need to happen? every day I find posts like this where it shouldn't even be a question on if you're the a**hole for being irate someone put your, your family, your kids--whatever the hell--in danger, and it saddens me that it's come to that

booksandcheesedip − NTA- 100% justified to tan her up and down! All 3 of them could have died if that railing gave way and she showed ZERO concern for the kids safety by having them out there. Ask her what she would have done if one/both of them fell and how she would feel about it. She needs to apologize to you

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nannylive − NTA, but you already knew that.

thicklover − NTA I wouldn't even let her in the house after endangering your kids like that.

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bek410 − NTA - does your mom not see how unsafe the railing is? Why would she ever think it’s okay to lean against something so unstable so far up? Also, it’s probably highly illegal to have a safety hazard like that. You should look into reporting it.

Swedishpunsch − NTA. Don't ever apologize - her behavior defies common sense. Call the housing authority, the housing code people, or whoever is in charge in your municipality, OP, and report this. Keep calling until you find the right agency, if the first one is incorrect.. I suspect that landlord will be told to fix this, and will be fined if it is not done.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, slamming her mother’s reckless disregard and urging action against the landlord. Some suggested practical fixes like locks, while others saw no need for an apology. Do these takes capture the full story, or are they just fueling the fire?

This heart-stopping tale of a shaky porch and a broken rule lays bare the lengths a mother will go to protect her kids. The OP’s outburst wasn’t just anger—it was a cry for respect and safety in a world where even family can falter. When someone endangers your loved ones, how do you balance rage with resolution? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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