AITA for yelling at my mother after she asked me to spend time with my stepdad and stepbrothers?

In a home buzzing with new family ties, a 13-year-old girl’s laser focus on grades turned into a shouting match with her mom. After a messy divorce, she’s juggling online classes, Arabic lessons, and chores, leaving little room for her mom’s demand to bond daily with her stepdad and stepbrothers. Her mother, stressed and pushy, mocked her exhaustion, dismissing her introverted need for quiet. The girl’s sharp retort—fueled by fatigue—left silence in its wake.

Now, with her stepdad urging an apology and her dad backing her, the teen wonders if she crossed a line. This Reddit tale dives into a whirlwind of teenage grit, family pressure, and clashing needs. Can a kid’s plea for space hold up against a parent’s call for togetherness, or did her outburst burn a bridge too far?

‘AITA for yelling at my mother after she asked me to spend time with my stepdad and stepbrothers?’

My parents divorced last year (long story short both my parents were cheating on each other). My mother recently got married to her boyfriend (my step-dad) and we moved in with him. My stepdad already has 2 sons. Because of the divorce last year I (13f) had gotten terrible grades.

I had failed 2 subjects and barely passed others. Because of this, my mother was really stressed. I felt terrible for adding to her stress ( and because from where I live 8th grade is super important and your results basically define your future career.) so for the new school year, I was determined to get good grades.

So when online classes started my weekdays got super busy. Usually, I wake up at 5:30 in the morning to do the homework and classwork of the day before from 5:30 to 8:20. 8:20 to 8:30 I eat breakfast. At 8:30 online classes start and it ends at 1:40. I spend 20 minutes talking to my friends.

2:00 to 4:00 I study. 4:00 to 7:30 I have Arabic lessons where my teacher comes to my house (I'm Muslim and these aren't just Arabic lessons. My teacher basically teaches me how to be Muslim, i.e. how to pray, how to read and write Arabic, and even sometimes how to cook traditional Islamic food) 7:30 to 8:30 I do my chores i.e.

Doing my bed, cleaning my study desk (it gets super messy) and doing the dishes. I quickly have my dinner and at 8:30 to 10:00 I do whatever I want to unwind whether it be reading or drawing or making dumb PowerPoint presentations for my friends to laugh at. Then I go to sleep.

So, I was talking to my mother and she started scolding me for not spending time with the family. I suggested that I spend time with them on weekends. She got mad and yelled at me saying 'That is not enough! You have to spend time with us every day after you do your chores!'

I got so mad that I yelled back at her telling her I get tired. She mockingly asked me if talking to your family is tiring. I told her that I'm an introvert so yes it's tiring. Whenever I say that I'm tired after online class, she would mockingly ask

'Where are all the bricks you carried to get tired?' I am now not talking to her and she hasn't talked to me. My stepdad told me to just apologize but I haven't yet. My dad is siding with me and so are my stepbros. I need a third opinion on this so, AITA?

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A teen’s packed schedule can feel like a pressure cooker, and this girl’s clash with her mom shows how fast it can boil over. Her 5:30 AM-to-10:00 PM grind—school, cultural lessons, chores—leaves her drained, especially as an introvert craving solo time. Her mom’s push for daily family bonding, while well-intentioned, ignores her mental load and need for rest. Mocking her exhaustion only fanned the flames, sparking a yell born of frustration.

Teen stress is real. A 2023 American Psychological Association study found 61% of teens report overwhelming academic pressure, impacting mental health. Dr. Lisa Damour, a teen psychology expert, says, “Parents must balance family time with a teen’s need for autonomy and rest”. The mom’s stress is valid, but her approach alienates her daughter.

A compromise—like one weekday family dinner plus weekends—could ease tension. Therapy might help them communicate.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s crew swooped in like a study group, cheering the teen’s hustle and tossing shade at her mom’s demands. From marveling at her schedule to calling out the mom’s hypocrisy, the comments are a lively pep rally. Grab a seat for their fiery takes:

ResponsibilityDue757 - NTA. Let me see if i got this straight, you are busy from 5:30 in the morning to 8:30 at night not including the hour and a half of free time you have a day? Okay, i am an adult with online classes and i have never been that busy in my life. Does your mother even understand the mental load of that schedule or does she just not care?

warpedfx - Bold of your mom to lecture you about family time after she had a hand in breaking one up. NTA

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[Reddit User] - I think NTA i might get downvoted but i think your mother no offense is a h**ocrite and a little self absorbed she wants u to spend time with her does she know how strict school is about grades / academics

but yet she wants u to drop all of that and force u to talk to her like u literally offer to give her the weekends but that's not good enough for her don't let her distract u from your goal stand your ground op.

Edit : The reason why i say that i think she's a h**ocrite is because in op post her mother gets stressed out about op's school life but now she wants her to spend time with her which is no problem because op gave her weekends but its not good enough for her

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And the reason why i say she's self absorb because come on it literally explains itself in the entire post she literally wants op to hang out with her all the time basically even tho op needs to be educated and go to college

Eastern-Water9701 - NTA. I actually think it's awesome how hard you've worked to get your grades back on track.

ExaminationStandard9 - NTA. introvert here too, socialising is tiring and youre doing a lot through the day. also parents need to learn theirs kids love language rather than expecting them to be exactly like they are

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Knots90 - NTA. I'd love for your mother to try doing your schedule for a day and see how she feels by the end of it. Keep up all of your hard work, but also remember to take a break every now and then for yourself.

tkdwarriorprincess - NTA. You do you. You seem to be a very focused young lady and kudos for putting a schedule and plan together to get your grades back on track. If your AH mom is going to continue to be hostile can you look into living with your dad?

sneeky_seer - NTA. You basically have longer days than most working adults. You don’t even get enough sleep.

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NiteGrimwood - Honestly? I would look into moving in with your dad after the way your mom treated you. I am an introvert as well and I understand fully. You have a full day doing stuff and should be allowed to unwind. Making you talk to them before bed sounds really stressful for you and will hurt your sleep if you fall asleep stressed. ​. EDIT: NTA

ltisdale - NTA. Next time she asks you where those bricks are tell her they’re obviously shoved way up her arse

These Reddit cheers hit like a caffeine boost, but do they miss the mom’s stress? Or is the teen’s stand the real gold star?

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This family showdown lays bare the tug-of-war between a teen’s drive and a parent’s plea for unity. The girl’s yell wasn’t just defiance—it was a cry for her mom to see her exhaustion and respect her limits. Her mom’s push for bonding, though heartfelt, steamrolled her needs. Was the outburst too much, or a fair fight for breathing room? Share your thoughts—have you clashed with family over time demands? How would you patch this mother-daughter rift?

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