AITA for yelling at my mom because she refuses to call my son by his name?

A young woman, glowing with the anticipation of motherhood, finds herself tangled in a family feud before her son even arrives. At 21, she’s ready to welcome her first child, Samuel, a name chosen with love by her fiancé. But her mother, stubborn as a summer storm, refuses to honor the name, dubbing the unborn boy Tony after dismissing Samuel as a nod to a TV show. The tension boils over, leaving the expectant mom wondering if her fiery outburst was justified or a step too far.

This clash isn’t just about a name—it’s about respect, boundaries, and a new mom’s right to define her child’s identity. As the Reddit community weighs in, the story unfolds with sharp opinions and heartfelt advice. Readers can’t help but feel the sting of a mother’s defiance against her own daughter’s wishes. What happens when family love turns into a battle of wills? Let’s dive into this juicy drama and see where the lines are drawn.

‘AITA for yelling at my mom because she refuses to call my son by his name?’

So I (21F) am going to be having a son soon(I’m a FTM- edit: means first time mom) and his name has been picked out for a long time. My (46F) mom doesn’t like the name because of a tv show (though that’s not why the name was chosen) because she thinks I’m “obsessed with the show” but it was my (24M) fiancé who chose the name.

Mom absolutely refuses to acknowledge my sons name and keeps calling him something completely different. She told me she would call him this for the rest of his life and I had no say. Every time I tried to actually say anything about it, she would cut me off and say “I’m not calling him {insert name}, you’re just obsessed with that show.

You’ll change it when he’s born anyway.” So I yelled at her that she will call my son by his name, no matter what she thinks, as I do not want my son to be confused as to why he is being called a name that isn’t legally his. My mom then called me an AH and proceeded to tell other family members who also called me an AH. So I’m wondering if I’m being a big AH or am I not?.

Edit#1: sons name is Samuel.. Edit #2: my mom wants to call him Tony/Toni.. Edit #3: FTM means First Time Mom. Edit #4: FTM is for First Tim mom in my post because I got it on a MOMS Reddit forum so that’s just what I used. I didn’t mean disrespect. I get it, it also means Female to Male but I already specified that this is not the case for my post. Again I do apologize though if I offended anyone.

Edit#5: I’m not changing the acronym. It’s been around a long time but it’s less used because of LGBTQ+ now. I’ll clarify what it means at the top but I’m not changing it when it’s widely used in Mom reddit forums. Thanks for reading.

Naming a child is a deeply personal act, often steeped in dreams and meaning, yet this story shows how it can spark unexpected family rifts. The young mom’s frustration is palpable—she’s fighting for her son’s identity before he’s even born. Her mother’s refusal to use Samuel, opting for Tony instead, feels like a power play, dismissing the couple’s choice as frivolous. This tug-of-war highlights a classic clash: a parent’s autonomy versus a grandparent’s influence.

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The issue taps into a broader societal question—how much say do grandparents get in their grandchildren’s lives? According to a 2019 study by the Pew Research Center, 60% of grandparents feel they play a significant role in their grandchildren’s upbringing, yet boundaries often blur (pewresearch.org). Here, the mother’s insistence on Tony suggests a need to assert control, possibly rooted in her own unresolved feelings about her daughter’s choices.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, notes, “Respecting boundaries is critical to maintaining trust in family relationships” (gottman.com). In this case, the grandmother’s refusal to honor Samuel’s name undermines the new mom’s authority. By dismissing the chosen name, she’s not just rejecting a word—she’s challenging her daughter’s role as a parent. Gottman’s insight suggests that clear communication and firm boundaries could help resolve this standoff.

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For the OP, setting consequences, like limiting contact until her mother respects the name, could reinforce her stance without escalating to shouting. Open dialogue, perhaps explaining the name’s significance, might also bridge the gap. Ultimately, the focus should be on fostering respect, ensuring Samuel grows up with a name that carries his parents’ love, not his grandmother’s agenda.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s got a knack for serving up spicy takes, and this story didn’t disappoint. Here’s what the community had to say, dished out with their signature blend of wit and wisdom.

That_Contribution720 − NTA. ​. But cool down, and stop yelling.. Simply tell her she won't get to see your son until she agrees to call him by his actual name. Refuse to further discuss it. Then enforce it.

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Solid_Quote9133 − INFO- ~~Whats the name, becasue if you named him something cringe worthy than I won't want to call that kid that name either.~~. I had a friend who tried to name her son naruto.. Edit- its Sam- NTA

Range-Shoddy − My MIL called my first kid by their middle name bc the first name was American, and middle was from her country. She got two warnings and then a timeout for 2 weeks. If she does it again she gets 2 months. Your child has a name. If she can’t use it then she doesn’t need to be in his life.. Also tell us the name.

Bill_Shatners_Penis − NTA. Explain to your mother that each time she uses the wrong name, that's another month from his birth that she will not see him in person. Let's say he'll be born in May. When she next uses the wrong name, say, 'Wrong name, so you won't be meeting him until June.'. She does it again? 'July.'. And hold the fucker to it. If she doesn't like it, shrug.

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jammies00 − NTA but when you said FTM I fully thought you were saying you are a trans man, female to male. Got really confused for a second lmao

Coco_Dirichlet − NTA. Samuel? It's like a normal name. Also, she could call him Sam, Sammy, etc.. Is the TV show supernatural? Tony is not nice. Tell her she is obsessed with the sopranos or that you son is not going to be in the Italian mafia o.0

Cool-Clerk-9835 − She can call him by his name or she can not talk to him at all. Those are her actual choices. Grandma doesn't actually have the right to see her grandkid. NTA.

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Responsible-Mall2222 − NTA and its time to go low contact or no contact with mommy dearest.

hope910801 − Call her by a different name. If she thinks it's so easy to change a name, start changing her name.

Mr_Ham_Man80 − INFO: What is the name? NTA but I'm curious what the name is? Is it some horrifically awful 'please bully me right the now' kind of name? I'm assuming it's not hence the NTA. Your Mum's issue about not liking it because it's the same as a character on a TV show seems highly childish.

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These hot takes from Reddit are bold, but do they cut through the noise of real-life family dynamics? Some suggest tough love, others playful retaliation, but all agree: a child’s name deserves respect.

This tale of names and tempers reminds us how deeply personal choices can ripple through families, stirring up drama as old as time. The young mom’s stand for Samuel is a stand for her new role, but was yelling the right move, or could calmer waters have prevailed? What would you do if a loved one tried to rename your child? Share your thoughts, stories, or sage advice—let’s keep this conversation rolling!

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