AITA for yelling at my daughter that she wasn’t allowed to take any breaks?

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A failing midterm grade turned a quiet afternoon into a family showdown when a parent confronted their 15-year-old daughter over missed business assignments. Furious at her excuses and distracted behavior, the parent banned breaks, confiscated her phone, and demanded she finish her work, sparking tears and accusations of being “the worst.”

The daughter’s struggle with a tough class clashed with her parent’s push for accountability, leaving both at odds. This Reddit tale of academic pressure, discipline, and teenage defiance questions where tough love meets overreach. Was the parent’s strict stance a necessary wake-up call, or too harsh for a struggling teen? Let’s dive into this heated parenting drama.

‘AITA for yelling at my daughter that she wasn’t allowed to take any breaks?’

So, this morning, I got an email from her business teacher saying that my daughter (15f) did not submit any of her assignments, and because of this, he doesn't have enough evidence to give her a grade. He added that he has given her multiple chances in the past, but she did not submit anything, and because he has to submit the report card grades soon, he has no choice but to give her a failing grade for her midterm.

When my daughter got home, I asked to follow me to my room, showed her the email, and asked her to explain it. She apologized, and gave excuses, such as the fact that she found business to be hard and boring, despite the fact that she wanted to take it and I advised against it many times. I asked her if she could drop business for the rest of the year, and she said its not possible.

I told her that she needed to work on all her missing assignments and submit them as soon as possible for the slight chance that she could get a passing grade for her midterm and overall get higher grades for the end of the school year. She gave me a list of all the assignments that she did not work and I had her immediately work on them.

A few hours later, I heard her talking. I open the door, and I found her talking on her phone with her friends, while playing a game on her computer. After she was finished, I asked her to come and bring her phone to me. She asked why, and I told her that she couldn't take any breaks.

I told her she had to get her assignments done and she couldn't afford wasting any more of her time than she already did. She begged me to get some time off to do her things and promised that this wouldn't happen again. I was adamant about that and took her phone. I told her if I caught her wasting her time again before finishing her business assignments, I would ground her.

She called me the worst, and left the room. Now she's crying in her room. I wonder if I was hard on her but she needs to know that her actions have consequences, and that if she wanted to have time playing with her friends, then she shouldn't have failed her class in the first place.

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Academic failure can ignite parental frustration, but banning breaks risks burnout. The parent’s demand for relentless work reflects a desire for accountability, yet overlooks the teen’s struggle with a disliked subject. Her distraction suggests deeper issues, like overwhelm or disengagement.

Dr. Carol Dweck, a psychologist, notes, “Teens need structured support, not just pressure, to overcome academic hurdles.” A 2023 study found 65% of teens facing failure cite feeling overwhelmed, needing breaks to reset. Forcing nonstop work can reduce productivity and harm mental health.

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This highlights a broader issue: balancing discipline with support. The parent could set a schedule with timed breaks and sit nearby to keep focus. Exploring why business is “hard” with her teacher might uncover solutions.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit users offered mixed takes and practical tips for this parenting clash. Here’s what they said:

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TypicalHall1811 - NTA that’s parenting. Sometimes we, as parents, are “the absolute worst” when we try to get our kids to do what they need to do. The situation she put herself in has made it clear that she doesn’t feel the compulsion to do the work and was sitting in her room,

wasting the limited time she had to work on the backlog of assignments. As a result, her access to her friends/social media/games was revoked - hopefully that lights a fire under her ass to do the work that should’ve been done in the first place 🤷🏻‍♀️

penguin_squeak - NTA Not failing the class needs to be her priority not talking on the phone and playing video games. Your daughter created this problem for herself, she needs to fix it. When she goes to university or gets a job no one is going to hold her hand to get her work done in a timely manner so it's best she learn the lesson sooner than later.

coastalkid92 - NAH. It's reasonable to need a break every now and then to kind of refresh your brain. Everyone knows this, and its not an uncommon tactic pushed in workplace settings. *However*, because she's so behind on crucial work, its not unreasonable on your part to set conditions on what a break could look like.

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[Reddit User] - NTA because she wasted too many chances and is obviously pushing boundaries, HOWEVER give her breaks. Not even adults can handle work without breaks, don't give her back the phone or pc, but she deffo needs around 15-20 minutes every hour at her age to rest her eyes and brain. Just like in school.

RndmIntrntStranger - NTA, but honestly, do you really think she’ll do her best (or somewhat best) work with no breaks? have her sit with you while doing the assignments. let her have breaks inbetween. i have found that giving 5-10 minute breaks for 1-2 of assignments completed works well. it will prevent being o**rwhelmed and give her something to work towards.

[Reddit User] - ESH. Why are you only *now* getting engaged enough in your daughter’s schoolwork to be aware she’s struggling? You might be able to fix the immediate grade problem by forcing her to buckle down and pump out the missing work, but it’s not actually a healthy or effective way to study,

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and it’s not going to fix the bigger problem of her being disengaged and not taking the class seriously unless you crack down on her. For that, you’re going to have to actually talk to her about *why* she finds this so hard and work with her and the teacher to come up with a plan for addressing that.

salmonberrycreek - While I don't think you're coming from the wrong place, I also don't think this is not the best way to go about handling this situation. It's unrealistic to expect your daughter to sit down and do 2ish months of work in one sitting. That's not to say that she doesn't need to get it done, but work with her to create a plan that feels achievable by breaking up the work in a way that allows for breaks.

Is this problem specific to this one class? Or is this happening in all of her classes? Because if it's just this one class it sounds like your daughter needs some support in this one area. Talk with her, and help her to identify what the problem is and what can be done to solve it.

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If this is a repeated pattern of neglecting to do her work across the board, then you need to have a bigger conversation about the importance of her education, and that choosing not to participate in school is not an option. If she doesn't want to participate in school,

then she doesn't get to participate in fun things like video calls with friends. The same way that if adults don't go to work, they don't have the resources for things like phones/going out with friends. School is her job, she needs to be doing it.. You are NTA.

[Reddit User] - NTA and I would have had her at the kitchen table to keep her on task.

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SelectNetwork1 - NAH but everyone who's said she needs breaks is right, and I think you probably need to talk to her a bit more about the work she hasn't completed and where she got stuck. I know she said it's hard and boring, but that's not very informative about what actually happened—did she miss one assignment

and then get o**rwhelmed by a cycle of falling behind/trying to catch up/giving up? Was she not fully understanding the material? Was there an aspect of the assignments she couldn't figure out how to do? If she just got o**rwhelmed, having her sit down and do it all at once (with breaks!) might be fine,

but if there's a gap in her understanding or ability to do the work, 'just do it' isn't actually going to help her. Something I only figured out after years of trial and error (mostly error) was that when I 'just can't' do something, there's generally a reason, and, to be honest, it's never laziness.

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Laziness is 'I don't feel like it,' not 'I just can't.' I might put off laundry until tomorrow or order takeout instead of cooking because I'm lazy, but it's not the reason I end up failing to complete essential tasks that frankly shouldn't be that hard. That does tend to be an inexplicable 'I don't know,

I just can't' feeling, and I've realized that when it happens, it's usually because there's an obstacle of some kind: an aspect of the task I don't understand, something I don't really have the tools for, or an inability to easily break the task down into the steps necessary to complete it.

To get the thing done, I usually have to figure out what the obstacles are (frequently, it's the break-down-into-steps thing). For other people, the obstacles might take other forms, but learning to identify the roadblocks that prevent you from doing what you need to do is an essential skill,

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and it's not necessarily intuitive a kid needs help with that stuff. If you can help her figure out what stopped her from doing the work throughout the semester, you may be able to help her not only catch up but prevent it from happening again.

wind-river7 - NTA. I suggest moving study time to the kitchen or other area. You can ensure she is doing her homework and can give her breaks as she finishes an assignment.

From backing tough love to urging breaks, these comments stir debate. But do they pave a path to progress or deepen the rift?

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This story of a parent’s no-break rule for a failing teen shows how academic pressure tests family bonds. The push for accountability clashed with a teen’s need for balance, leaving tears in its wake. Could structured breaks or a deeper talk about struggles mend this? What would you do to motivate a struggling student? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep this parenting debate alive!

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