AITA for Welcoming My Daughter’s New Boyfriend to Our Halloween Celebration?

At a lively family Halloween celebration, a 50-year-old father welcomed his daughter’s new boyfriend, a widower she’s known since childhood, just a month after her separation from her cheating husband. The ex, who fathered a child from an affair, stormed into the father’s office, accusing him of breaking up their family and neglecting his other daughter. Supporting his daughter’s fresh start, the father maintained boundaries with her ex, who’s now cut off by the family.

This Reddit story, charged with loyalty and betrayal, echoes your own experiences navigating family boundaries, like excluding your dad’s partner from your wedding or managing your ex-husband’s family ties. Is the father wrong to embrace the new boyfriend, or is the ex out of line?

‘AITA for Welcoming My Daughter’s New Boyfriend to Our Halloween Celebration?

I'm a 50-year-old man. My wife and I have a son and a daughter. My daughter married one of my son's best friends. We took him in when he was 15 and treated him like one of our own. He was kicked out of his father's home, and we took care of him like our own. My daughter fell in love with him and they got married right out of high school.

He went to college, while she took care of their daughter. My daughter was resentful of the fact that she had to give up her dreams, and this created problems in their relationship. Her husband ended up having an affair and siring an illegitimate child. The mother was an addict and lost custody.

After months of back and forth, my daughter decided to reconcile with her husband. We were not happy with her decision but decided to not let our disappointment show when she brought him around. We treated him the same. 7 years go by, and last month my daughter decided that she cannot give her marriage a chance.

I think we all knew that she was ashamed of her decision to reconcile. It came as a shock to my son in law because they were expecting another baby (which my daughter has decided to abort). She also told us she is moving on and is already dating one of my friends' sons, a widower with a daughter my granddaughter's age and they are good friends.

She has known him since they were both kids and I'm more than happy about her finding love. This Halloween, she brought her new boyfriend to the celebration and we welcomed him wholeheartedly. And in the pictures in the clear that they were acting like a couple.

My son in law (soon to be former SIL) showed up to my office and accused me of encouraging the break up of his family when he was trying hard to save it. He was also disappointed that I didn't invite his 7-year-old daughter (His daughter went to her grandparents. So I don't understand the accusations)

I understand that being alone on Halloween for the first time in two decades must have felt bad, but he is no longer my daughter's husband. My son also cut him out of his life.. AITA for supporting my daughter in her decision and maintaining boundaries with her ex?

EDIT : In the last 7 years my daughter went back to college and landed a good job in her desired field of work.

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Family transitions post-separation are fraught with raw emotions, and this Reddit user’s choice to invite his daughter’s new boyfriend reflects unwavering support for her happiness. The ex-husband’s affair and its fallout, including a child from another woman, severed his claim to family inclusion, especially after the daughter’s decision to end the marriage. His accusations mirror the boundary disputes you’ve faced, like managing your ex-husband’s family expectations or excluding unwanted guests from events.

Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Post-separation, families often realign loyalties, and exes may feel entitled to inclusion despite their actions” . The ex’s focus on his 7-year-old daughter, who was with her grandparents, seems like a guilt tactic rather than a genuine grievance.

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The father should continue supporting his daughter, as you’ve prioritized loved ones, and clarify to the ex that event invitations are his daughter’s call. If the daughter wants a relationship with the ex’s child, that’s her decision, not the father’s burden.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit largely backed the father, slamming the ex’s entitlement and cheering the daughter’s fresh start, with some questioning the new boyfriend’s quick inclusion but affirming the father’s loyalty. Here’s their take:

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AccordingTelevision6 - NTA, I really don't think it's appropriate for him to be approaching you about this. If there was an issue, he should be discussing it with your daughter, and really it should be between him and your daughter where your granddaughter goes for Halloween.. It sounds like everything you did was in agreement with your daughter, so I see no issue.

[Reddit User] - NTA. Their relationship issues are between them, and expecting to be catered to by an ex's parents is pretty ridiculous, especially considering that this guy:. 1. Knocked up OP's daughter while she was in high school, or shortly after

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2. Proceeded to control her life and make her give up her dreams while he just 'went to college' like normal.. 3. Cheated on her and knocked up *another* woman on the side.. ...But, sure, inviting someone to a Halloween Party is what 'broke up his family' /s. Lol.

SuperSwordGaming - NTA. You’re supporting your daughter’s decision to be happy with someone else. Guy cheats and regrets it. They try to fix it and it doesn’t work out. She moves on and you did the right thing to say you get it and support her new boyfriend. Especially if he makes her happy.

[Reddit User] - NTA. And good on your daughter for deciding that she wanted to go back to school to be able to support herself when she saw how unreliable he would be. This sounds like my husbands aunt and her ex husband.

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Stayed together forever divorced as soon as the kid was almost grown and then she moved on, went to school found a great job, and married a man who thinks she’s the entire world. Meanwhile he’s raising his affair baby alone and still trash talking aunt like she did something wrong.

lizzyborden666 - NTA. Well first of all Halloween isn’t a family holiday and even if it was he cheated on your daughter. He’s no longer welcome at your house. He broke up his family not you. Your daughter has moved on.

[Reddit User] - WOW. NTA. He had a whole entire outside child and is surprised that upon news of being pregnant (and possibly being trapped with him for an additional 18 years) your daughter chose to jump from the leaky ship?. You're a good dad. His other kid is not your concern. Shame on him for implying they are.

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Necromantic_Inside - Definitely NTA. Does your daughter want a relationship with the 7-year-old? (I'm assuming this is the affair child, not the kid they had together right out of high school.) The only way I could almost see you as TA would be if your daughter wanted to keep in contact or have partial custody of her soon-to-be-former stepdaughter and you were somehow getting in the way, but that really doesn't seem to be what's going on.

Wysteria569 - NTA. Your soon to be former SIL is a tool who cheated on his wife and had another child. I would be dancing if my daughter left such a man, even years later. I am happy for her that she is choosing herself! Be proud!

philman132 - NTA, you didn't contribute to their break up, that's between them. Although is it a bit weird to invite someone your daughter has only been dating a month to a family celebration? I'd feel weirded out if I was invited to something like that after only dating for that short a time. Maybe the ex husband assumed that they'd been dating for longer (i.e. while she was still with him) since they were already doing family celebrations together

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SardonicAtBest - ESH. This reads like Jerry Springer.

Reddit’s rallying for the father, but are they missing the ex’s emotional sting or just calling out his hypocrisy?

This father’s warm welcome of his daughter’s new boyfriend at a Halloween party has drawn the ire of her ex-husband, who blames him for their family’s collapse. The story, like your own boundary-setting with family, asks where support for a loved one meets an ex’s lingering claims. Is the father right to stand by his daughter, or should he have considered the ex’s feelings? How would you handle an ex crashing your family’s new normal? Share your thoughts or stories of navigating post-separation family ties!

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