AITA for wearing my new engagement ring to a wedding?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The soft clink of champagne glasses filled the air at a cozy wedding of 30 guests, where love was meant to take center stage. But for Emily, a 30-something private soul, her new silver engagement ring—worn without a second thought—stole the spotlight. As friends swarmed with congratulations, the bride and groom’s joy dimmed, their special day clouded by unintended drama.

Emily’s innocent choice sparked a fiery post-wedding call from the newlyweds, who felt upstaged. Was wearing her ring a social misstep, or is the couple’s anger overblown? This tale of etiquette and emotions invites readers to ponder: where’s the line between celebrating your joy and respecting someone else’s moment?

‘AITA for wearing my new engagement ring to a wedding?’

My friend recently got married, and had a small ish wedding ceremony of about 30 people. Since it was such a small ceremony, I was at least acquainted with pretty much everyone there, and friends with a large fraction of the people. A couple weeks before my friend's wedding, my now fiancé (yay!) proposed.

I'm a pretty private person, so apart from my immediate family and a couple closest friends I didn't tell anymore. Fast forward to the wedding. Without thinking about it, I wore my new engagement ring, since it's now part of the jewelry set I wear every day.

Since I knew most people at the wedding, lots of people immediately started asking if I was engaged and congratulating me and me fiancé. We've been together for a really long time and it's been a running joke among me and my friends if we'd ever actually tie the knot.

This really upset the bride and groom, who angrily called me the day after the wedding. They said it was in very bad taste to wear a new engagement ring to their wedding, on the level of actually proposing at the wedding.  I feel really bad that I upset them,

but at the same time I think their anger is out of line. Actually proposing at someone else's wedding is a far cry from just wearing a new ring, which I might add is a plain silver band. It's not like I was flashing a huge diamond in people's faces purposely trying to get attention.

Emily’s ring saga is a classic case of wedding etiquette gone awry. Her plain silver band wasn’t meant to steal the show, but in a tight-knit crowd, it became a beacon for curiosity. The bride and groom’s frustration reflects a deeper tension: the fear of being overshadowed on their big day. Yet, Emily’s choice to wear her everyday ring wasn’t malicious—she simply didn’t foresee the buzz.

Wedding etiquette often emphasizes keeping the focus on the couple. A 2023 article in Brides magazine (brides.com) notes that 74% of couples feel guest actions, like major announcements, can disrupt their day. Emily’s engagement, though unannounced, functionally became a reveal when she engaged in lengthy chats about it.

Etiquette expert Elaine Swann advises, “Guests should redirect attention to the couple if their personal news draws focus”. Emily’s mistake was not shutting down engagement talk, letting it snowball. She could’ve said, “Thanks, but let’s celebrate the newlyweds!” to refocus the crowd.

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For solutions, Emily should apologize sincerely, acknowledging the couple’s feelings without defensiveness. Moving forward, guests in similar spots can preempt drama by informing close friends of big news beforehand or briefly redirecting conversations. Balancing personal joy with respect for others’ moments is key to keeping the peace.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of sympathy and shade for Emily’s wedding blunder. From calling her innocent to accusing her of basking in the spotlight, the comments are a lively debate. Check out the top takes:

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MultiFazed − NTA. 1. You didn't get engaged *at* their wedding.. 2. You didn't *announce* your engagement at their wedding.. 3. You didn't even wear a ring that was obviously an engagement ring. You can't help the fact that people asked you about your engagement status, and telling the truth is better than lying in that situation.

Whatevz2019 − NTA. A real friend doesn't ask you to dim your light so it looks like they are shining brighter.

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chatondedanger − You are entitled to wear your engagement ring and it would have been weird not to. But you probably should have redirected people who were congratulating you to focus on your friend’s big day. If you reveled in the congratulations or egged them on in anyway, that would put you in a-hole territory. It wasn’t your day to be the center of attention.

Edited to add YTA based on OPs response. She did nothing to dissuade the other guests from asking about her wedding during the other friends wedding that was in progress. She’s not the A for wearing the engagement ring, but she is for not shutting down stealing the spotlight from the bride and groom

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bbvy24 − YTA. You admit you hadn't really told anyone you had become engaged and then you show up at a wedding where you share a lot of mutual friends with the bride and groom wearing a ring on your engagement finger...

You knew full well when you chose to do it that that _was_ essentially an announcement. And then to make it worse, you didn't even shut down questions about it. It's not nice to steal someone else's spotlight, especially when they have already had to scale back their plans. Really TA, OP.

pez_dispenser − Gonna go against most of the other replies and give you a soft YTA. It certainly wasn't your intention to announce your engagement but ultimately you did. I don't think you were malicious or meant to do any harm but I do feel like you're being a slight AH by not seeing it from their side. I feel like you should be more understanding of how you impacted their once in a lifetime wedding day to one another and apologize.

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AugustNClementine − YTA because you engaged in the long catch up conversations after people asked according to your comment. It is a pretty common social convention not to announce an engagement at a wedding and you did functionally do that.

I don't think you are a huge AH but you definitely did make a wedding blunder and then didn't correct yourself but kept talking about yourselves. Etiquette would dictate you try to redirect the conversation, not make it about your catch up time. Did you apologize to them? In my opinion you do owe an apology.

[Reddit User] − YTA There's a point where being too thoughtless and self absorbed makes you an a**hole. You're 'too private' to tell people you're engaged and your engagement ring is 'just part of your jewelry', but you're perfectly happy to chat all night about how he proposed,

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and other nonsense about your own wedding while your friend is having hers? If people are gushing over where the honeymoon's going to be with someone other than the bride and groom at a wedding someone has f**ked up.

[Reddit User] − NTA, they'll get over it. If they don't they're bad friends.

betheasshole1 − I’m going against the grain. YTA. Did they at least know you were engaged? Because if the even thé bradé and groom didn’t know. Definitely YTA.

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[Reddit User] − YTA You did not get engaged at the wedding and you did not announce it at the wedding. It is your engagement ring and of course you’re going to be wearing it all the time even though personally I would think it would be common sense to take it off if you’re going to a wedding, especially if you have the same friends, you would think you would know that you would get attention for it.

You know you wanted your friends to notice it and ask about it. Don’t lie. Why couldn’t you have told people beforehand that you were engaged? Honestly I do get that they were irritated. It was supposed to be their wedding and you kept getting all the attention. Changed to YTA because of OP‘s comments.

You literally did keep going on and on talking about it because they kept asking questions. It’s one thing for someone to say congratulations but to keep saying oh wins the honeymoon or when’s this or when’s that … You should’ve shut that down!. I hope they tell everyone they’re pregnant at your wedding.

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These Reddit reactions range from supportive to scathing, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just wedding-day hot takes?

Emily’s ring drama shows how a small choice can spark big feelings at a wedding. Her engagement wasn’t announced with fanfare, but chatting about it amplified the tension. Was she wrong to indulge the questions, or should the couple have let it slide? Weddings are emotional minefields—have you ever faced a similar etiquette slip? Share your stories and opinions below: what would you do if your moment clashed with someone else’s big day?

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