AITA for wearing a “wedding dress” to someone else’s wedding?

At a lively wedding reception, a woman’s sage green dress sparks a fiery clash with the bride’s mother. Living in a converted school bus, she chose her practical wedding dress for her friend Lisa’s big day, only to face accusations of stealing the spotlight.

Her minimalist life, swapping lavish nuptials for a mountain-top vow exchange, made the dress a sentimental yet functional choice. But one guest’s outrage turned her practical decision into a scandal, leaving her questioning her choice as Reddit buzzes with opinions.

‘AITA for wearing a “wedding dress” to someone else’s wedding?’

In March of 2020, me and my (now) husband were engaged, living in a condo, and working office jobs. When the pandemic hit, both our jobs moved online and our wedding planning came to a halt. We decided to pivot our plans, cancel our big wedding, and follow our biggest dream instead.

We bought a used short school bus, spent a few months converting it into a tiny home, sold all our stuff, and hit the road. We also had a very untraditional micro-wedding! There were 19 people there, we said our vows on top of a mountain, caught and roasted fish over a fire for dinner, and drove off in Otis (our skoolie) with a 'just married' flag.

One of the other untraditional things about our wedding was my dress. Otis has very limited storage, but I knew I would want to keep my wedding dress for sentimental reasons, so I purposely got married in something I thought I could wear again. I chose a sage green satin wrap dress that I could hike in, it doesn't look like a wedding dress but it was perfect for our day.

The conflict: It's now been nearly a year of us living in Otis and exploring our country (as much as restrictions allow). Last week we drove back to our home town to attend the wedding of my friend 'Lisa'. Because my wedding dress is the only piece of formal wear I still own, and because it isn't white or look like a wedding dress, I wore it to her wedding.

The ceremony was beautiful and I was dressed very similarly to a number of other women there, I even got a few compliments on my outfit. Unfortunately during the reception, Lisa's mom 'Jen' accosted me, asking 'how dare I wear a wedding dress to her daughter's wedding' and 'whether I wanted to make the day about me since I didn't get a proper wedding'.

Apparently, Jen had seen my wedding pictures on social media and recognized my dress. I tried to explain to her that it was the only dress I own and that I was 100% there for Lisa but she didn't want to hear it. She then told a bunch of other people I was wearing my wedding dress.

Most folks didn't seem to care but I did get glares from a few people for the rest of the evening, even from some who had previously complimented me! By the end of the night, I felt very conflicted and like maybe it was rude of me to wear my dress.

I did get a moment alone with Lisa, and let her know that I meant no disrespect and wanted her to have her day. She said she understood my lifestyle and wasn't bothered. However, it did clearly impact other people, and I've since gotten messages from her mom telling my not to expect to be in any of the wedding photos cause shes told the photographer to edit me out

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and that 'I won't get a free wedding after all'. I've asked a few friends what they think and have had mixed answers as to whether I am the AH or not.. So I leave it to you reddit, AITA for wearing my 'wedding dress' to another wedding?

Weddings can be a social tightrope, and this woman’s sage green wedding dress—chosen for its versatility—sparked a feud with Lisa’s mother, Jen. The dress, far from a traditional gown, fit the event perfectly, yet Jen’s accusations suggest rigid expectations about wedding etiquette. The woman’s nomadic lifestyle, prioritizing function over flash, clashed with Jen’s need for control, turning a non-issue into a spectacle.

This reflects a broader issue: wedding norms often stifle personal expression. A 2023 study by The Knot found 61% of guests stress over dress codes, showing how traditions can overshadow individuality. Psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron notes, “People project insecurities onto others’ actions in high-stakes settings like weddings.” Jen’s outburst likely stemmed from her own stress, misdirected at the woman’s practical choice.

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For similar situations, clear communication is key. The woman’s apology to Lisa was wise, reinforcing respect. To avoid drama, consider discussing unique attire with the couple beforehand or choosing neutral outfits.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out support and sass for our bus-dwelling heroine. Here are their hot takes:

[Reddit User] − NTA, but Lisa's mom is. There's a difference between wearing a dress that you got married in and wearing a dress that has no other purpose than being a wedding dress. Years ago, people just wore their Sunday best. Lisa should have a chat with her mom and tell her to STFU. As for the photos, what a shame that she's dictating her daughter's life.

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No-Jellyfish-1208 − NTA If you walked there in a white dress (or any outfit that was the copy of the bride's attire for a day) - yeah. But you wore something totally different, just that you happened to have it on during your wedding. Side note - a guy can show up everywhere in the same suit but the ladies are expected to don different outfit to different parties? Not fair, society, not fair.

Ironinvelvet − NTA you wore a nice dress that you got married in, not a “wedding dress.” It sounds pretty and like an appropriate choice for the wedding. Lisa’s mom sounds horrible…yeeeeesh. She should’ve kept her mouth shut instead of stirring up drama on her daughter’s wedding day.

TimeToVent2021 − NTA the only etiquette rule for weddings is to not upstage the bride. Wearing green doesn’t violate that unless it was neon green, covered in lights, and made honking noises whenever you sat down. Jen needs to find a hobby

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beek_r − NTA Just respond to her message that you weren't wearing a wedding dress. Tell her that your friendship with Lisa is what really matters, and that you're not interested in contributing to her (Lisa's mom) drama.

That you already have many wonderful pictures of Lisa and yourself, and have shared many wonderful memories, and that's all that matters. Then contact the photographer and ask for a picture with you in it, and send it to Lisa. 'Cause I'm just a bit petty.

[Reddit User] − NTA and your friend's mother is, well, a whack job looking for drama where there wasn't any. When I first read the title, I thought 'oh, something white? Not bueno.' But a sage green wrap dress? You were fine.

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I did the same by the way, when husband and I got married I wore a vintage sweater, a plaid secondhand skirt and our baby on my back at a biercafe, because that's how we roll. I don't like buying clothes to only wear once. You did fine!

ApartLocksmith1 − IT WAS A GREEN DRESS!. The only person who made a scene was Jen.. NTA

Electronic_Trick_13 − NTA. *What is wrong with people???* Honestly. Jen sounds like a piece of work and as long as Lisa doesn't care (and why would she, it doesn't sound like a 'traditional' wedding dress). Not only that, who, other than Lisa and Jen, even knew that it was your wedding dress?? *She made the wedding about you when she went around telling everyone*...you did nothing wrong.. PS - Congratulations on your wedding :)

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MoyamoyaWarrior − NTA It was not a wedding dress, just because you opted to use it for your ceremony doesnt mean anything. Unless people specifically knew you no one would have known. Wearing white is the nono. I think youre totally fine and her mom is just a momzilla.

captgabesparrow − NTA Traditionally wedding dresses were just nice formal dresses that could be worn again. The whole white wedding dress as a single use garment thing is less than 200 years old as a tradition. You weren't upstaging the bride in any way

and if the brides mother hadn't noticed there wouldn't have been an issue. She is the real AH here. I think she is just envious that you are living a life you enjoy rather than adhering to tradition and being miserable like her.

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These opinions spark a question: do they capture the full picture, or is Jen’s outrage just wedding-day stress?

This green dress saga shows how assumptions can sour a celebration. The woman’s practical choice, rooted in her unique lifestyle, met Jen’s wedding-day zeal, causing a stir. Lisa’s support eased tensions, but glares and photo-editing threats left a mark. Weddings amplify emotions, turning small choices into big drama. What would you do if your outfit sparked a feud at a friend’s wedding? Share your thoughts below!

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