AITA for wanting to name my child after my ex?
Three months from welcoming their first child, a 24-year-old man suggested naming his daughter after his college ex-girlfriend, who tragically passed away, hoping to give the name deep meaning. His pregnant fiancée exploded, feeling her feelings were dismissed and insulted by the idea of honoring his past love. Locked out of their room and ignored, he wonders if he’s in the wrong.
This Reddit story, raw with grief and relationship strain, echoes your own struggles with balancing past losses and present bonds, like navigating your ex’s family’s memorials or your partner’s boundary issues. Is he wrong to push this name, or is his fiancée overreacting?
‘AITA for wanting to name my child after my ex?’
Naming a child is a deeply personal decision, and this Reddit user’s suggestion to honor his deceased ex crossed a painful line for his fiancée. His grief, while valid, clashes with her need to feel valued as his partner, especially during pregnancy, mirroring tensions you’ve faced with past memorials or boundary disputes. The fiancée’s reaction reflects insecurity about being “second choice,” amplified by his focus on his ex’s “perfect” love.
Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Unresolved grief can strain partnerships when it overshadows current commitments” . The user’s intent to give “meaning” ignored his fiancée’s perspective, making her feel like a bystander in their child’s naming.
He should apologize sincerely, as you’ve mended relationship rifts, and propose names tied to their shared journey, perhaps seeking grief counseling to process his loss privately. A joint naming session could rebuild trust.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Reddit near-unanimously called the user out, labeling him YTA for insensitivity and urging him to prioritize his fiancée’s feelings, with personal anecdotes and sharp advice. Here’s their take:
![[Reddit User] - YTA. There are millions of names in the world. I don’t see your exes name being appropriate to name your child with a different partner. It’s just not the appropriate way to memorialize her. I might not be pissed if I were your current partner,](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/305258cc-08.png)
Reddit’s slamming his choice, but are they fully grasping his grief or just protecting the fiancée?
This Reddit user’s bid to name his daughter after his late ex has left his pregnant fiancée feeling sidelined, straining their bond. His story, like your own relationship boundary challenges, asks where personal meaning meets mutual respect. Is he wrong to suggest the name, or is his fiancée’s reaction too harsh? How would you handle a partner’s tribute to a past love? Share your thoughts or stories of balancing grief and love!
