AITA for wanting to leave my husband?

A young mother of two is trapped in a marriage rife with financial control, emotional abuse, and a complete imbalance of responsibilities. At just 22, she has been running the household for years, while her 25-year-old husband is immersed in a world of gambling, abandoning her and the children when they return home exhausted.

Complicating the story are the special needs of her deaf and autistic son, and her fear of having to fend for herself despite providing for nearly everything. She works 72 hours a week, handles all the childcare, and covers the bills, but does not benefit from her husband’s income. This stark tale of exhaustion and isolation raises urgent questions about when tolerance becomes self-harm in a relationship.

‘AITA for wanting to leave my husband?’

The relationship locked in early, producing two toddlers and an imbalanced division of labor from the start.

My husband (25m) and I (22f) have been together for six years and we have two toddlers together. I used to be a sahm for three years and I did...

However I have no access to any of “his” money and it ended up I had to go back to work so I got a job and it wasn’t enough....

Exhaustion defines every day as she juggles full-time work, sick days, and all household costs solo.

Well now I work a full time job full time dealing with the kids if they can’t go to school they go to work with me. If they have to...

He has a very nice pc set us in our bed room and when we (me and the kids )get home from work (he gets off before me ) we...

Chronic issues of financial control, mental cruelty, and online betrayal finally push her to consider escape.

We’ve had so so many problems over our relationship but the last three years especially. He looks up other women on social media. They look NOTHING like me. I’m short...

The girls he looks up are tall and very thin. He’s very financially and mentally abusive. He’s never laid hands on me but I don’t know what to do anymore....

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My son is deaf and autistic so he has a lot of needs I’m just stuck I feel like I’ve been wanting to leave for years so would I be...

This young woman’s story exposes the hidden costs of financial and emotional abuse in marriages where one partner controls resources but shirks responsibilities. She provides for the family, manages special childcare needs, and endures isolation, while her husband alienates them with video games and unattainable online fantasies.

Opposing views may argue that he pays the bills and avoids physical violence, suggesting that she overreacts to her role as “provider.” However, what complicates the story is how his emotional abuse erodes her self-esteem, compares her body negatively, and withholds affection, keeping her trapped in a vicious cycle of dependency.

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From a broader societal perspective, this reflects systemic failures for young mothers in working-class families, where a lack of shared finances and support services increases vulnerability. “Financial abuse occurs when one partner controls another’s access to economic resources, reducing their ability to support themselves,” notes the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org).

Ultimately, her desire to leave prioritizes the stability of her children over a toxic relationship, prompting society to increase divorce resources and enforce child support to provide equitable exits.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many users rally behind the poster, insisting she’s already shouldering single parenthood and deserves freedom.

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Ok_Egg_471 − You won’t have to pay for everything if you leave him. That’s what child support is for. You’re basically already a single Mom.

SardonicAtBest − One thing I've learned, being a single mother is actually *less* work than having a b__ for a partner. NTA

DrKiddman − You need to move to a state where you’re deaf autistic child has social services. Take care of him during the day and maybe at night. You are...

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Mediocre_Quality_221 − You already know the answer. Leave.

Kukka63 − You already do everything and pay everything, it would be ever so much easier to be a single parent rather than waste your time on someone who doesn't...

Some commenters offer nuanced advice, acknowledging barriers while validating her exhaustion.

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Ok_Law_417 − Talk to a divorce lawyer.

TedTeddybear − Get out! You've been with him since you were sixteen? You know nothing of the real world. Where do you live that you are trapped like that, so...

but anything's better than living in a loveless and emotionally abusive relationship. Don't jump into a new relationship too quickly, either. Figure out what you want, your self-esteem might have...

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Dramatic_Inside271 − LEAVE HIM. Go to court and demand child support. If all he’s giving is money then get the money without having to deal with him LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE

A few light-hearted voices inject humor, highlighting the absurdity to lift spirits without mockery.

i_need_vodka_now − Never laying hands on you is a very low bar for any relationship. Much less a partner. Run to the nearest exit.

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delulu4drama − You and your kids deserve so much better than this! Hock his PC and leave. It will only get worse. Put away any money you can, ask friends...

In the end, this poster emerges as a resilient provider in a one-sided marriage, where financial control and emotional neglect have pushed her to the brink of departure. Community consensus labels her not the antagonist, emphasizing child support and services as viable paths forward, while her edit promises an empowering update.

What signs of financial abuse have you spotted in relationships around you, and how did support networks help turn things around? Would access to better childcare subsidies change outcomes for young families like hers—share your thoughts below.

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