AITA for wanting to feed bottle to my baby?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a quiet nursery at midnight, a new mom winces as her newborn latches on, each feed a mix of love and sharp pain. For one Reddit user, breastfeeding her newborn is a grueling task, her sore body begging for relief. Switching to bottle-feeding pumped milk brings calm nights and better sleep, a small victory in the chaos of early motherhood.

Her husband’s disapproval, however, stings, as he calls her choice the “easy route.” Shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, her story sparks a debate about parenting and personal sacrifice. With raw emotion and relatable stakes, it pulls readers into the tension of balancing comfort with expectations, setting the stage for a heartfelt exploration of her struggle.

‘AITA for wanting to feed bottle to my baby?’

Around 10 days ago I gave birth to my first baby. Since then I have exclusively breastfed. But for my annoyance it gutted like hell. I got help through a nipple guard which helped somehow with the pain but not completely. Still better though and I still fed my baby accordingly to the 2-3 hrs window until satisfied.

I asked for alternatives but they told me since I’m producing so much that it was better to breastfeed for now so I don’t get mastitis. No bottle for now. It still hurt so I asked the pediatrician again and said “let’s see how she/he gains or looses weight first.”

This week we found out my baby is actually back to birthweight and going up. Which is very good news. So I asked if I could bottle feed again and got the green light. My husband knows it hurts and also has seen me breastfeed for like an hr (my baby normally goes for 20-30min each session). But he is not thrilled that I wanna bottle feed

Last night I pumped myself around 3.0-3 1/2 oz. And fed my baby, I finished all (burping, changing diaper, swaddling) in less than 30 min. Baby did not cry and was asleep right away. I finally slept better and more than 1-2hrs between feeding at night. My husband works so I take care of the baby at night and try not to bother.

This morning (around 5/6 am) he saw me bottle fed again and commented “so we are only going to use bottle now ha?” Angrily. I told him it was mostly at night and that we finally got to sleep without a fuss. He still says that he is not happy about it and that I’m taking the easier route.

I basically told him that is not for him to decide since is still b**ast milk just not directly from my boob and the one who deals with it is me, he scoffed of saying “you are always the victim, doing everything” WIBTA for wanting to fed my baby My b**ast milk through a bottle at night since it makes it easier/hurts less?

UPDATE: I discussed it with my husband and he apologized and understood my position. He was just frustrated that since I gave birth there have been a lot of opinions by doctors on when to start bottle feeding. Most said wait 3 month or wait a month so I understood why he was confused/frustrated.

But he saw how easier is and also he can feed the baby too. I wanna clear something. My husband has been a champ taking care of me while working (from home) he cooks, clean and takes over if I need a nap and in exchange I take the “nightshift” so he has more energy for work and helping during the day.

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He also told me he is scared about the bonding but I explained to him that he is bonding with her even tho he does not breastfeed directly and I do so too but not exclusively by latching the baby to my boob. And we can see how it goes along the road.

I am scared of the milk stopping if I do not latch from now and then but I’ve read a lot of experience that exclusively bottle feed while pumping and they could do it for months. I’m gonna try for a few more weeks of this bottle at night/b**ast at day

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and if I’m still too uncomfortable with boob feeding I will just pump and bottle for the rest of it. Also my baby has a high palate and that creates a vacuum sucky ion that it becomes painful. The nipple guard helps but is a pain getting it on and baby not pushing it off or away..

Newborn feeding can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded, with every choice scrutinized. For this mom, breastfeeding pain collides with her husband’s resistance, exposing a common parenting rift. Her switch to bottle-feeding pumped milk prioritizes her well-being while keeping her baby nourished, a practical move under pressure.

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Breastfeeding pain, especially with a baby’s high palate, signals a need for change. Lactation expert Dr. Jane Morton explains, “Painful breastfeeding can lead to burnout, undermining both mother and baby’s health” . Pumping allows this mom to maintain milk supply without discomfort, aligning with her baby’s healthy weight gain and her own recovery.

The husband’s initial frustration mirrors societal myths that breastfeeding is always “best.” A 2020 study shows 68% of mothers face judgment over feeding choices . His apology marks progress, but highlights a need for partners to prioritize empathy over ideals, fostering teamwork in parenting.

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This story reflects broader debates about “fed is best” versus “breast is best.” The American Academy of Pediatrics supports flexible feeding plans that honor maternal health . For this mom, a hybrid approach—breastfeeding by day, bottles at night—offers balance. Open communication and lactation support can ease such transitions, ensuring both parents feel heard.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit community rallied behind the mom, emphasizing that a fed baby is the priority, whether by breast or bottle. They praised her for prioritizing her comfort while ensuring her baby’s nutrition, viewing her choice as a win for both. Many saw bottle-feeding as a practical solution, especially given her pain and the baby’s healthy growth.

Some users critiqued the husband’s harsh words, urging him to support his wife’s needs during this demanding time. The consensus was clear: her body, her choice. The community’s support underscored a broader sentiment that new moms deserve flexibility and empathy, not judgment, in navigating the challenges of early parenthood.

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Sleepy_felines − NTA.. The most important thing is that the baby is well fed. How they get that food is irrelevant.

SverdarLeviosa − NTA!!! Fed is best. You are feeding your baby. Your husband is not, he doesn't get a say. You ARE doing everything, he sounds like the kind of person who will get mad if you suggest he gives the baby the bottle for a change. You do not need to be in pain to feed your child. I say this as a medical person who works with moms and newborns.

peachycatx − NTA. Your husband sounds like one though. If he really wants the baby to be breastfed then he can go produce milk himself and see how it feels

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bartkurcher − NTA. Reading this made my blood boil. Your still feeding your baby b**ast milk, just via a bottle, so WTF is his problem? It’s your nipples and 100% your decision. Your baby does not care. What an AH husband. Sorry

[Reddit User] − This is a red flag for abuse, OP. I’ve experienced it firsthand & witnessed it with friends. He has no reason to be mad at you & the fact he’s putting your mental health & comfort last is a bad sign. The “you’re always the victim” comment is a bad sign. He’s mentally/ verbally abusing you already.

jammy913 − If the baby is getting b**ast milk from the bottle, the baby is still getting b**ast milk.. Your husband made a very thoughtless comment talking about 'taking the easier route'. ​ Nothing wrong with that. And the man who didn't gestate, give birth, or experience the pain of b**ast feeding really should STFU.. ​. NTA.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your body, your choice.. It is always better for mummy and baby if breastfeeding is a choice and something that they both 'enjoy'. I would have told him that if he wants the baby to be breastfed, he can find a way to produce milk and breastfeed himself.

ForwardPlenty − NTA. Fed is best.

IbeatSARS2x − Congratulations! You had a BABY!! That is truly amazing. You are a natural wonder. I have exclusively breastfed 3 children for over a year. It was HARD and if any friend of mine suggests that they “take the easy way out” (SARCASM!), I quickly say GO FOR IT. Do whatever you need to do to help yourself.

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The reality of newborn living— you might feel like you fell to the bottom of the pyramid but actually, you rose to the tippity top. Everyone needs you now a lot more than ever before. So if mama ain’t feeling good, watch out. You gotta take great care of yourself because if you aren’t in good spirits, ain’t no one to truly take your place.

Bottle feed that baby if that makes you feel better. There is no trophy for people who chose to exclusively breastfeed from their actual boobs. The reason why I did it was because I didn’t have the energy to sanitize bottles. Remind yourself you literally just had a baby.

Continue bottle feeding and maybe in a couple weeks you can try again or never try again. Ha, mama, it is your call. Don’t forget that you are driving this bus. Don’t let hubby in the back seat tell you how to drive. You’re doing just fine.

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dothepingu − NTA!!!!!! Fed is best!!!! There is no right way to feed a baby. What matters is that they get fed. Your husband doesn't know what he's talking about ... please keep family and friends in the loop about how you are doing and talk to a therapist or a support group for new parents.

This mom’s shift from painful breastfeeding to bottle-feeding reveals the messy, tender reality of new parenthood. Her story, resolved through honest talks with her husband, celebrates resilience and compromise. It reminds us that feeding a baby is deeply personal, shaped by love and practical needs. Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments what helps navigate the early days of parenting?

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