AITA for wanting to dedicate my book to my ex instead of my girlfriend?

Picture a 20-year-old writer, penning his first novel, only to land a publishing deal that feels like a fever dream. For this Redditor, the thrill of seeing his book hit shelves comes with a side of drama: he wants to dedicate it to his ex, who shaped its pages with her feedback, but his girlfriend of one month is fuming. She sees the ex, still a friend, as a threat, and the dedication as a slap in the face. Suddenly, his dream’s a battlefield.

This isn’t just about a book’s front page; it’s a clash of gratitude, loyalty, and new love. The OP’s torn between honoring a key supporter and soothing his girlfriend’s insecurities. Reddit’s split, with some cheering his choice and others waving red flags. Readers are hooked: is this a fair nod to the past or a recipe for heartbreak?

‘AITA for wanting to dedicate my book to my ex instead of my girlfriend?’

I [20M] like writing as a hobby, and somehow, miraculously, my book is going to be published. I sent query letters (basically a letter describing your book's plot and why you think it'll sell well) to agents as half a joke, so it's surreal it's going to actually be published.

Anyhow, one person that really helped me with the book is my ex, who I'm still friends with. She's a huge reader, and gave me a lot of feedback at every step of the process. My girlfriend is pissed at this. We only started dating a month ago,

and to an extent I can understand how she feels-- I'm dedicating the book to the girl I dated for 2 years in the past, who she still considers a 'threat' due to the fact I'm still friends with her. So I get how this can make her feel insecure, but the fact is my ex helped a *lot.*. AITA for this?

This book dedication drama is a tightrope walk between gratitude and relationship harmony. The OP’s ex played a pivotal role in his book’s journey, offering feedback that likely sharpened its edge. Dedicating it to her feels like a natural thank-you, especially since their friendship predates his one-month romance. But his girlfriend’s insecurity, while premature, isn’t irrational. “New relationships are fragile, and gestures tied to exes can feel like competition,” says Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert quoted in Psychology Today. Her research shows 60% of new couples struggle with ex-related boundaries.

The girlfriend’s demand to nix the dedication is controlling, given their brief dating history. A study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships notes early jealousy often signals trust issues, which could escalate. The OP’s transparency about his ex’s role and friendship is healthy, but a dedication carries emotional weight, potentially misread as lingering attachment.

This story taps a universal issue: balancing past contributions with present commitments. Dr. Orbuch suggests a compromise, like a “special thanks” in the acknowledgments for the ex, reserving the dedication for family or a neutral figure. The OP could reassure his girlfriend by discussing boundaries, like limiting ex contact to platonic terms, as advised by The Gottman Institute. A calm talk could clarify intentions without dimming his achievement.

Readers, consider how you’d honor a past helper without rocking a new romance. The OP’s choice isn’t wrong, but a tweak could save drama. A heartfelt chat with his girlfriend, paired with a thoughtful acknowledgment, might keep both his book and his love story on track.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit dove in like editors on a deadline, splitting over this dedication dilemma. The crowd’s takes are as bold as a bestseller’s cover, unpacking the drama with flair:

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WelfordNelferd − NTA. And big, huge red flag that your girlfriend of one month is so controlling.

RocheCoach − NAH, I see all sides here.

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AureliasTenant − Special thanks or something might be more appropriate to dedicating the book. Special thanks is assigning credit to someone deserving of it. A dedication is like for a special person.

CheerilyTerrified − NTA. You've dated her for a month!!!

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lifeiscooliguess − YTA. Am i in crazy town with these comments out of touch with the real world? I'd be on your side if you gave you ex a special thanks along with other people who have supported you through the years like maybe close friends or family but dedicating the whole book? Yikes be ready to be dumped for this. You're giving mad not-over-your-ex vibes

milesassociates − Info: Is the book title *How to reunite with your ex and anger your current SO in a single stroke*?

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[Reddit User] − Ooof, NAH but I can't guarantee your girlfriend will (eventually) see it like that!  I'd not dedicate it as 'For...' but, as someone suggested, 'With special thanks to..'. That gives off a completely different feeling.

Unknown2809 − NTA I would have said N-A-H but you've only been dating for a MONTH?? And she expects you to dedicate your book to her instead? You were probably done with the book before the two of you even started dating, what contributions could she have possibly had?

Normally I would advise discussing boundaries such as being friends with an ex before getting into a serious relationship but this clearly hasn't evolved into one. It makes sense you would dedicate the book to your ex instead of a girl you've been dating for a few weeks.

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SweetPatootie97 − NAH. I get why people are saying N T A because your new girlfriend hasn't impacted the book. But personally, if I started dating a guy and he was dedicating a book to his ex? Red flag alert.  If it was a 'special mention' as many have suggested that would be okay.

But why would I want to date a guy dedicating things to his ex? If I'm the girlfriend, I want to feel special, not like I come second to someone else. I'm sure ill get down voted for saying that. But let's be realistic, no one wants to feel like the ex is being put on a pedestal worthy of a dedication.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Your current girlfriend doesn’t deserve a dedication but dedicating it to an ex is a good way to become single. Cut ties with your past, it looks like you’re still hung up on your ex.

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These Redditors are torn, with some backing the OP’s right to honor his ex’s help, while others see the dedication as a breakup catalyst. Suggestions like a “special thanks” aim for peace, but some flag the girlfriend’s control as a dealbreaker. Do these takes write the perfect ending, or are they just drafting chaos?

This tale of a book dedication gone divisive is a reminder that gratitude can stir the pot. The OP’s nod to his ex is fair, given her role, but his girlfriend’s hurt flags the need for sensitivity. A compromise could turn this page without tearing the binding of his new romance. How would you balance thanking a past supporter with keeping a new partner happy? Share your thoughts and stories below!

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