AITA for wanting my son to walk me down the aisle at my wedding?

Wedding bells should ring with joy, but for one widowed mother, they’re clanging with conflict. Her heart swelled at the thought of her 19-year-old son, a pillar through grief, walking her down the aisle. Yet her fiancé’s explosive “no” turned a tender plan into a battleground, leaving her torn between love and loyalty. It’s a story of family bonds clashing with new beginnings, set against the glow of a wedding that’s anything but settled.

In a home filled with memories of loss and resilience, this tale captures the mother’s fierce pride and her fiancé’s puzzling resistance. Readers will feel her protective instinct, wondering: should a wedding unite everyone, or is it a bride’s right to choose? This emotional standoff promises a lively debate about love, family, and red flags.

‘AITA for wanting my son to walk me down the aisle at my wedding?’

I'm a mother of two, my son Justin (19) and my daughter Megan (14). Their father passed away years ago. I'm currently engaged to my fiance Kane (41) and we're getting married soon. I'd already made Megan a part of the wedding. But didn't know what to do for Justin, Then this idea popped up in my head.

I thought it'd be incredibly nice if Justin actually walked me down the aisle at the wedding. I brought it up to him and he cried and agreed. I told Kane but he wasn't happy. He said 'no' without giving me a reason.

After pressuring him to talk, he just blew up and said that I was supposed to choose a person who had an impact on my life (my father is deceased) to walk me down the aisle not my own 'kid'. I told him that my son is my role model, he's been through so much like health issues,

and school issues and he took care of his sister during incredibly difficult time and basically held the family together upon his father's passing. I told him that this is what I want to do and that if he's not okay with it then it's his problem.

He lashed out and said 'no no no no it's YOUR problem. I don't want people laughing us at the wedding'. We argued about it then he stormed off and now he's trying to speak to Justin but I told him to stop.

He lashed out again saying it was wrong and selfish of me to make this kind of decision without consulting him first, and that it's our wedding both not just my wedding. AITA for this decision and for choosing this as my hill to die on? we still haven't talked after that argument yet.

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This wedding’s turning into a soap opera with more red flags than a matador’s cape. The mother’s choice to have her son walk her down the aisle is a touching nod to his role as her rock, especially after her husband’s passing. Her fiancé’s outburst—fearing laughter at “our” wedding—smacks of control and dismisses her son’s significance. As Psychology Today notes, blended families thrive on mutual respect, yet 60% of stepfamily conflicts stem from clashing priorities, per Family Relations.

Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, says, “Stepparents must embrace their partner’s children to build trust” . Here, the fiancé’s rejection of the son’s role signals deeper issues—possibly discomfort with her past or her kids’ place in his life. The broader issue is stepfamily integration: 70% of blended families face tension over children’s roles, per a 2024 Child Trends study. Her firm stance is justified, but his “it’s our wedding” plea isn’t baseless.

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She should initiate a calm talk to uncover his fears, perhaps with a counselor, as The Gottman Institute suggests. If he won’t budge, rethinking the marriage may be wise.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit squad swooped in like wedding crashers, dishing out a mix of support and warnings. From cheering the mother’s loyalty to waving red flags at her fiancé, their comments are a bouquet of bold takes. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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squirlysquirel − NTA. my son walked me down the aisle when I got married. He was 4, it was lovely.. We had the registrar say 'Who welcomes this man in to this family?' and he said 'I do'.

We focused on the welcome to the family not giving away.. I think it is amazing g your son was so touched. I have serious concern that your partner might have some other issues...time fir some serious discussions on expectations. Is he a good guy?

solo_throwaway254247 − 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩. Kane is throwing major red flags!. Question 1: How long have you guys been together?. Question 2: How does he usually treat Justin?. Question 3: Have you guys discussed how a blended family is going to work?

hockeypup − NTA, but might be time to rethink this wedding.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You sure you want to marry this guy? This feels like your cue.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your fiancée is exceedingly dismissive of your son. After a bereavement, children are even more important in a parent's life. How weird. Red flag. I cannot believe he considers your son not important enough in your life.

Would je prefer you picked a random friend you hardly speak to? I'd reconsider this wedding. Being widowed does not mean you should take whoever will have you. You deserve a man who loves and respects you and your past.

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ElephantNecessary366 − NTA. I think its incredibly sweet and not a single person would be laughing. However, I see this as a big red flag on your fiance's part. This is controlling behavior and if he wants to make decisions for his part of the wedding, so be it, but you should make decisions for YOUR part of the wedding. As a partner he is supposed to support you... how is this support?

Prudent_Border5060 − Nta. But as everyone has said he clearly has a problem with your son.. For me this would be relationship ending material.. Who could could you possibly have that is a bigger impact on your life then your children?

missywitchy1975 − Are you sure you want to marry this man? Who picks a fight about who walks the bride to the altar? This is a personal decision of the bride and the groom usually has no say. Besides HE is your son not some random stranger.

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gordiestanclub − NTA but you are getting a clear sign that this guy ain't it

ChibiSailorMercury − I don't want people laughing us at the wedding. What kind of people would laugh at a son supporting his widowed mother's second marriage and new path to happiness? In what world is he living?

His views on children (that they can't have an impact on a parent's life)....is he childless? or something? Because if there is one universally transformative human experience, one would be hardly pressed to find more upside-downy than parenthood.

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It shifts a person's priorities and perspectives. I don't even have to have children to know and see that. I know that a wedding should be about both the bride and groom's choices, but I don't see why the groom should veto the identity of the man walking the bride down the aisle.

There is no bad blood between your son and your fiancé, why is it then your problem to find a man that your fiancé approves of?. NTA, but the whole thing would make me reconsider the wedding.

These Redditors rallied behind the mother, praising her son’s honor while side-eyeing her fiancé’s tantrum. Some urge her to rethink the wedding; others see his reaction as a dealbreaker. Are these hot takes the full story, or just confetti on the drama?

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This story is a bittersweet reminder that weddings can expose cracks in even the strongest bonds. The mother’s choice to honor her son is a testament to love, but her fiancé’s resistance casts a shadow over their future. As vows loom, the question remains: can love thrive when family ties are tested? What would you do if your partner rejected your child’s role in your big day? Share your stories and insights below—let’s untangle this wedding knot together.

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