Aita for wanting my mother in law to move out after she kicked out my parents?

Family harmony shattered like a dropped glass when a woman’s mother-in-law crossed a line. Living together since 2015, the 65-year-old MIL never warmed to the woman’s mother, who moved in after a house fire. Tensions simmered, but no one expected suggestive texts sent to the woman’s father, followed by a confrontation where the MIL called the police to oust her parents. The betrayal stung, and the woman demanded her MIL leave their home.

Now, her husband pleads for forgiveness, calling his mother “lonely,” but the woman sees manipulation, not confusion. With her parents in a hotel and her kids caught in the chaos, the stakes are high. Was she wrong to draw a hard line? This Reddit saga unravels the messy clash of loyalty, boundaries, and family drama—where trust, once broken, leaves a house divided.

‘aita for wanting my mother in law to move out after she kicked out my parents?’

I (45f) live with my children (12f,12f,14m&15m), husband(46m) and mother in law (65f). My mil moved in with us back in 2015 after my father in law passed because she was financially struggling. My mil is not easy to live with and we struggled immensely at the beginning but after a few years we found a way to cohabit.

Then recently(three months ago to be exact) my parents (68f,68m) house burned down and they moved in with us while everything is sorted out with insurance and so on. My boys are sharing a bedroom as my parents are currently staying in my eldest bedroom.

My mil has struggled with this and seems to hate my mother being around. My mother has done nothing to upset her or to disturb her. In fact my parents bedroom is on the other side of the house. She doesn’t however have problem with my father and always finds a way to hangout with him.

A few days ago while I was away for work a massive argument happened between my mother and mil. My mother had accused her of trying to seduce my father and there were some inappropriate texts sent to my father(my father immediately showed it to my mother and my mother responded as if she was my father to see how far mil would go and well she went far).

Well my mother confronted her and mil called the police (saying she felt threatened) who then escorted my parents out the house. This all happened while my husband was at work and the kids at school. My parents went to stay at a hotel and they explained what happened to me over the phone.

When I returned I gave mil two weeks to move out. My husband thinks I’m escalating things and that I should forgive his mothers actions because she was lonely and confused. (FYI there is nothing wrong with her, she’s in good health). So am I the a**hole for wanting her out of our house and my life?

——FYI: To answer my husband has not seen the text and pictures his mother sent my father. The only reason he hasn’t seen it is because he refused to but I think I’ll have to insist because I need him to really understand how n**ty she’s been. Also I wanted to kick her out immediately but my husband begged me to give him two weeks so he could find a place for her.

And my parents being the saint’s that they are said that I should give him that. My husband has profusely apologized to my parents but my parents aren’t upset with us and hold only mil responsible as it was her disgusting actions that lead to this.

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1- In the pictures she sent my father, mother in law wasn’t completely n**ed, she sent him lingerie pictures with suggestive poses and accompanied with l**d texts. Which is why my husband isn’t particularly interested in seeing them.

2- The police asked my parents to leave since my mil technically lives there. To avoid escalating the situation my parents decided to leave. The police officers did not file any charges and just left after a chat with everyone involved. There was zero violence and no one got hurt.

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3- Mother in law moved in with us after she had lost almost everything. Father in law died after a long battle with cancer. Medical cost ate up pretty much most of their savings and she had to sell their house. This led her to spiral into a deep depression. My husband was very worried for his mother and for good reason as she was in a terrible state at the time. So we decided to move her in with us.

Family boundaries can snap like a taut wire, and this woman’s mother-in-law (MIL) cut right through them. Sending suggestive texts to her father and calling the police to remove her parents wasn’t just a misstep—it was a betrayal. The woman’s demand for her MIL to move out is a stand for respect, but her husband’s plea for leniency complicates the fallout.

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Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Healthy families thrive on mutual respect, especially in shared living spaces.” The MIL’s actions—targeting the woman’s father while clashing with her mother—suggest jealousy or entitlement, not mere loneliness. Her escalation to police involvement shows a power play, undermining the woman’s authority in her own home. The husband’s defense, dismissing his mother’s behavior as confusion, risks enabling disrespect.

This reflects a broader issue: multigenerational households often strain under unclear boundaries. Studies show 55% of such homes face conflicts over roles and respect. The MIL’s history of depression may explain her neediness, but not her inappropriate advances or drastic actions. The woman’s parents, displaced despite their crisis, deserve priority.

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Dr. Gottman advises open communication to reset boundaries. The woman could insist her husband review the texts to grasp the severity, framing it as a trust issue: “I need you to see why this hurts.” Couples counseling might help align their priorities, emphasizing the family’s unity over his mother’s feelings. The MIL needs clear consequences—moving out signals accountability.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out fiery takes and sharp advice on this family fiasco. Here’s what they had to say:

Salt-Lavishness-7560 − MIL didn’t just kick OP’s parents out - she called the cops on them and had them removed from OP’s home.  Which reeks of MIL now thinks she’s calling the shots in that house. . And if OP’s husband gets his way, she will. I’m gobsmacked at the delusion of the husband - “she’s lonely.”

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Then go to bingo. Volunteer at the library. Joins garden club. There’s about a million ways an able bodied 65 year old woman can entertain herself and keep herself busy and engaged. One of those ways is to NOT put the moves on your DIL’s dad. Hell she initially moved in because of finances? Get a job.  She wasn’t confused about texting silver haired porn at that poor man.

She wasn’t confused when she called the cops on them. She wasn’t confused when she presented herself as the legal occupant of the house and had them removed.  She has been there for 8-9 years now? She thinks she’s got a position to call the shots in the home.  . NTA. I honestly don’t know how she can stay after this stunt. 

Gohighsweetcherry − Husband can move out with MIL so she’s not ‘lonely and confused’.

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theworldisonfire8377 − NTA, she's confused by what, exactly? Who she is and isn't married to? Sounds like a cop-out excuse to me! She's 65, not 100, unless she suffers from dementia, she knew exactly what she was doing.

What she did was completely inappropriate and your husband making excuses for her is also inappropriate. If he wants to coddle her so badly, he can move out with her so she's not so 'lonely' and 'confused'.

Disastrous-Height951 − NTA. Your MIL was way out of line and inappropriate. She needed to apologize yet she acted entitled, plus she didn’t have the right to throw out your parents. Tell your husband that if his mother can throw people out so can you. She was supposed to be grateful for your help not play you and your family. Again, NTA.

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winterworld561 − NTA at all. Your MIL knew exactly what she was doing and her behaviour was disgusting. She's vile. Stick your guns and and keep reminding her how much time she has left to move out. What she did was unforgivable. If your husband keeps digging his heels in then tell him he can go with her.

Radiant-Teacher2852 − She's 65 not 85, she's not even retirement age yet lol I'm sure she's putting up the confused, helpless old lady act but she's not. She was pretty obvious from the off that she was jealous of your mum and sent slooty texts to your dad!

Honestly I don't get why she's even living with you she was faaar too young to use her son as a crutch and should have gotten a job and her own place years ago. Your parents have a legit reason to stay she's just a mooch and hooch XD  Tell your husband to open his eyes, if this happened to someone else he wouldn't tell them to let it go and enable the shameless hag so why should you?

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Have you asked what he would have done were the roles reversed? Get her OUT shes not some frail demented old dear she's a manipulative woman and he needs to take his rose tinted mummy glasses off and see her for what she is and what she's done.

Trailsya − My husband thinks I’m escalating things. So, you were forced to live with her for years and she can't stand being forced to live with someone she doesn't like for months? Even sends inappropriate texts? And then calls the police? And then you are escalating things? LMAO. This is wild. NTA.. Your husband is the AH.. Don't forgive this woman. Stick to it. If husband doesn;t like it, he can leave with her.

virtualchoirboy − NTA. When you next talk to your husband, ask him why he would rather support his mother than his wife? Ask him why he's supporting an attempt at breaking up your parents marriage? Ask him if this is how he's going to treat any other guests that might be staying in their house?

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And if he continues to defend her actions, ask him which hotel he'd like you and the kids to stay at because you're certainly not going to be staying with someone who is that enmeshed with his mom.

Bonnm42 − NTA for your husband… Your Mother tried to ruin your wife’s parents marriage. What she did could of had huge implications on your wife’s family. Instead of apologizing and owning up to her mistakes, she called the cops on your wife’s parents! Honestly, I have no idea what the cops were thinking, they should have forced your mother to leave.

Now you are disrespecting your wife and your in-laws by excusing her behavior and telling your wife she escalated things. No, your MOTHER escalated things and caused this whole problem. If I was your wife, I’d kick you out of the house with your Mother. Time to cut the umbilical cord and be a good husband to your wife.

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i0_0u − NTA. Your MIL sounds emotionally immature, entitled and self righteous. Who does she think she is?

These Redditors are all-in on the drama, but do their solutions hold up?

This woman’s fight to reclaim her home from her mother-in-law’s betrayal cuts deep. Suggestive texts and a police call weren’t just missteps—they were a deliberate breach of trust, displacing her parents and shaking her marriage. Her husband’s plea for forgiveness can’t erase the damage. What would you do when family oversteps this far? Share your thoughts or experiences below—how do you reset boundaries when a house feels more like a battleground?

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