AITA for wanting a cash bar at our wedding?

Picture planning your dream wedding on a shoestring budget—free farm venue, gifted catering, and a band playing for love, all under $2,000—only to hit a snag over the bar. That’s the dilemma one 25-year-old bride-to-be and her fiancé faced when they opted for a cash bar to dodge a $1,000 alcohol bill for their 150 guests, hoping to offset costs by charging for drinks. A bridesmaid’s sharp rebuke, calling it “incredibly tacky,” left them second-guessing, as friends and family split on whether it’s a savvy move or a social misstep.

This Reddit saga stirs up wedding etiquette, budget battles, and guest hospitality. Are they wrong for charging for drinks, or just keeping it real? Let’s pour over the story, get an expert’s take, and see how Reddit mixes this cocktail of opinions.

‘AITA for wanting a cash bar at our wedding?’

A couple’s plan for a cash bar at their budget wedding stirred up controversy. Here’s the full story from the Reddit post:

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Ok so me (f25) and my fiance (m24) are getting married next year and like many people our age we are pretty grossed out by the wedding industry and are trying to keep our wedding as cheap as possible.

So for example we are having the ceremony and reception at my uncle’s farm (free of charge) out in the country, my good friend from college who owns a catering business agreed to do our catering for free as a wedding gift, and my fiancé’s good friends with a band that will play at our wedding for free also as a wedding gift.

We got my dress and his suit from Goodwill and got them altered. Everything said and done we will be paying less than $2k for our wedding. Now we get to the alcohol. We’re having a semi-big wedding (150 people - we have a ton of friends and family coming from all over) and the idea of paying for all of that booze is making us stressed out.

It’d be at least $1k. We thought about it and decided to do a cash bar. We figured we could buy the booze and pay one of my cousins to be bartender for the night, and we realized we could probably recoup some of our costs on the other wedding expenses by charging moderate prices for drinks - win-win!

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We were set on this idea until I brought it up with one of my bridesmaids and she flipped out and said that would be incredibly tacky. I was sort of taken aback by this. I’ve looked online and cash bars at weddings are pretty common. it seems ridiculous to pay to get everyone drunk. My other friends and family seem pretty split and I’m starting to wonder if this is actually a faux pas. AITA?

This wedding bar debate is less about alcohol and more about balancing hospitality with financial realities. The couple’s thrifty approach—leveraging free services and secondhand attire—is admirable, but charging guests to profit on drinks crosses a line into exploiting their generosity. A cash bar to break even might be acceptable in some circles, but aiming to recoup wedding costs risks alienating guests.

Event planner David Tutera notes, “Weddings are about celebrating with guests, not charging them for the party.” A 2024 survey by The Knot found that 65% of guests view cash bars as less welcoming, especially at large events. The couple’s freebies (venue, food, music) already slash costs, making the profit motive seem ungracious, particularly with potential legal issues around unlicensed alcohol sales.

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Tutera suggests alternatives: a limited open bar with beer and wine, a BYOB setup, or trimming the guest list to fund drinks. Checking local liquor laws is also key. The couple could reframe their approach to prioritize guest experience over cost recovery.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s tossing back some strong takes on this wedding bar brouhaha—here’s the spirited commentary:

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irell − YTA. It would be a different thing if you were to just sell the drinks at the price you bought them for and break even(Which is still a little tacky) But instead, you are charging your friends and family more than the drink is worth in order to make a profit.

heathertaka − So you're saying you already have a free venue, food, and entertainment... And also want to make a profit from your guests?? YTA.

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That_laidback_lad − YTA no one including I'm guessing the bridesmaid had the problem with you having a cash bar but making money of it is distasteful, rude, cheap and even illegal.. You could be sued for it if I'm not wrong. Edit : Also to add you're getting a free location, band, caterer (for 150 people) yet you are being stingy about it?

Mark − YTA. Big time A. “Hey guys, come to our wedding so we can make money off you.” People spend an incredible amount of time and effort to attend weddings, especially if they’re from out of town. The least you can do is buy the drinks. And not to mention, you have months to save $1,000. It really isn’t that hard to pick up an extra job or extra shifts to make money. Delivering pizzas for month will easily bring $1,000.

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reverandglass − YTA. Not for having a cash bar but for thinking you can profit from your friends and family to recoup the cost of you incredibly cheap (because you're rather fortunate) wedding.

egnards − YTA. In general I think that the budget a couple sets for their wedding is totally up to them but I think your demeanor totally sets the tone here. You're having 150 people at your wedding where you're getting your ceremony for free, food. . .for free [which is a huge f**king cost by the way for that amount of people, as somebody getting married in 4 days], and the music. . .for free.

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You're asking your friends to drive to your wedding, very likely give you gifts [which is very common] and you have pretty much not spent a single dime on any of your guests. Frankly at 150 people.

And at your current costs you're very likely to make money throwing this wedding and it's exceedingly tacky to literally spend not a dime on people you're inviting to celebrate your nuptials. In regards to hosted versus a cash bar in a normal situation what is accepted depends entirely on where you live and it sounds like it's tacky where you live.

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[Reddit User] − YTA for wanting to profit off your guests. They're there to celebrate with you, not to pay for your wedding.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Trying to pay for your wedding by profiting on the alcohol sold there is tacky as f**k. If you care so damn much about saving money, the better move would be to trim that 150 person guest list down.

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ZeusMN85 − YTA. Not for wanting a cash bar, but for your reasoning. You're getting pretty much everything for free by asking friends and family to help you out. Venue, food, band, etc. That's great! Good for you for having awesome people in your life who are willing to put in their time, effort, and expertise to allow you to save a few bucks!

But then you go and say you want to charge guests for drinks so that you can make some money off them. Not cool. Also, you might want to check liquor laws where you are because usually you need a liquor license to charge people for alcohol.

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So if you're going to Costco and buying a shitload of bottles and beer, then charging your friends and family for it at your wedding, you're likely committing a crime. You're already saving a lot of money on this wedding, literally thousands of dollars, because of the generosity of friends and family. Don't cancel all that goodwill out by charging people for drinks.

PJ_lyrics − YTA for the plan of buying alcohol and charging your friends. I'm not a huge fan of cash bars but that doesn't make you TA. Buying and selling your own to make money makes YTA.. Edit: Can I add why not just make it BYOB instead making money on your friends?

These responses are as bold as a bartender’s pour, slamming the profit plan while offering practical fixes like BYOB. Can the couple rethink their bar to save face, or is the cash idea a party foul?

This tale of a cash bar wedding plan shows how quickly budget savvy can veer into etiquette trouble. The couple’s not wrong to want a low-cost wedding, but charging guests for drinks to make a profit feels like a buzzkill, especially with their already gifted setup. A BYOB vibe, a smaller guest list, or a modest open bar could keep the celebration sweet without souring the mood. Have you ever seen a wedding choice spark debate? What would you do in this couple’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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