AITA for wanting a baby sitter?

A mom recently landed an exciting promotion with better pay—but it came with longer hours that left a gap in childcare for her 7-year-old twins. Her husband suggested their 17-year-old daughter (from her previous marriage) could simply watch the twins those two afternoons a week. She immediately shut it down, insisting they hire a proper babysitter instead.

He pushed back hard, calling it a waste of money and saying the teen actually enjoyed babysitting and it would be great “bonding time.” Now he’s making passive-aggressive comments about their budget, and even her friend sided with him on saving cash. She’s starting to second-guess herself. Thousands of people online jumped in with strong opinions.

‘AITA for wanting a baby sitter?’

The mom explained their usual routine works well despite both having full-time jobs:

Then came the promotion with extra hours:

But when she started looking for a babysitter and showed him options:

Since then, he’s been making snide remarks:

This situation highlights a classic tension between practical family logistics and the emotional risks of parentification—when older children are expected to take on significant caregiving roles for younger siblings on a regular basis. The mom is right to be protective: turning a teenager into a default, unpaid babysitter twice a week can interfere with their social life, extracurriculars, homework, and personal development, even if they “like” babysitting occasionally.

From the husband’s perspective, it might seem like a simple, cost-saving solution that builds family bonds. Many parents view occasional sibling care as normal and character-building. But when it becomes a fixed schedule tied to work hours, it shifts from voluntary help to obligation—especially without asking the teen first. This can breed resentment, as seen in countless stories from older siblings who felt their teenage years were hijacked by family duties.

Child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham (author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids) notes: “Parentification robs children of their childhood and can lead to long-term issues like anxiety, perfectionism, or difficulty setting boundaries in adulthood.” Occasional babysitting is fine if it’s the child’s choice and compensated, but regular unpaid duty crosses into exploitation.

Practical advice: First, talk openly with Kate—ask how she really feels about the idea without pressure. If she’s genuinely excited and wants the extra cash, pay her fairly (at least what you’d pay a professional) and keep it flexible so she can say no anytime. If she hesitates or says no, respect it immediately. Meanwhile, explore affordable after-school programs, carpooling with other parents, or hiring a part-time sitter. The husband should also share the emotional labor of finding solutions instead of passive-aggressive comments. Protecting your oldest daughter’s autonomy while managing family needs isn’t selfish—it’s good parenting.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Online reactions were overwhelmingly in support of the mom, with most calling out the husband for trying to turn his stepdaughter into free labor.

Most people strongly backed her decision and warned against parentification:

A few suggested compromises or questioned the need for a sitter:

This story shines a light on how easily “family help” can slide into unfair expectations, especially for older siblings. The mom is protecting her daughter’s right to a real teenage life, even if it costs extra money. Most people online agree it’s the right call, while a handful suggest talking to Kate or finding cheaper alternatives.

What do you think? Is it okay to expect a teen to babysit regularly without pay, or should parents always hire outside help when needed? Share your take in the comments!