AITA for waking my husband up to drive me to pick up my car when I left my keys in my locker at work?

A forgotten key can unlock a storm. After leaving her car keys at work, a woman realized her mistake at a midnight subway station. Unable to reach her husband despite 22 calls, she Ubered home, fuming that his silent phone left her stranded. Needing her car to avoid a ticket, she woke him, sparking a fight over his “unreliability” in emergencies. He argued she was mad at him for her mistake, pointing out his phone’s “favorites” setting should’ve worked, but it was muffled on silent.

Now, she wonders if her anger was fair or overblown. Was waking him a justified jab at his oversight, or a misdirected rant? This Reddit tale dives into the fray of marital missteps, late-night frustrations, and the weight of “what if” emergencies. Can couples sync on reliability without resentment?

‘AITA for waking my husband up to drive me to pick up my car when I left my keys in my locker at work?’

A couple of weeks ago I accidentally left my car keys in my uniform pants at work, and left my pants in my locker (I don’t wear my uniform home for multiple reasons. I just bring it home to wash - I have 2) I realized when I got to the subway station, where I’d parked,

that I’d left my keys back at work - a half hour train ride and no guarantee I’d be able to get back in the building (it was after midnight). I called my husband to ask him to bring me the spare key. Twenty-two times. I tried my son, but he was asleep (he’s 19 and has a car) and didn’t wake up when I called a second time.

And I tried a friend. I didn’t want to call too many people because again, it was after midnight.. I kept calling my husband hoping eventually he’d hear his phone.. I wound up taking an Uber home. I needed to go get my car because they ticket after 2 am usually.

So, when I got home, and I was pretty upset that I’d called 22 times and he hadn’t answered. I continued trying to call him the whole way home in the Uber. When I got home, I went inside and up to the bedroom and woke him up. I was pissed that had this been a serious emergency, I wouldn’t have been able to get through to him.

He kept saying he had my number in his “favourites” so that if I called twice, the second time it would go through. But he had the phone on SILENT! And then put it on top of something soft. So he didn’t hear it vibrating. He complained that I was mad at him for something I did.

I replied that no, I was mad at ME for forgetting my keys. That was 100% on me. I was mad at HIM for not having his phone on and that he’s unreliable in an emergency, which thankfully, this wasn’t a huge one. So, AITA for waking him up and being pissed that I couldn’t reach him in what wasn’t a big emergency, but what if it had been?

Forgetting keys is a hassle, but this woman’s 22 unanswered calls and late-night wake-up reveal deeper trust issues. Her anger wasn’t just about the car—it was fear that her husband’s silent phone could fail in a real emergency. His “favorites” setting, meant to allow her calls, was useless on silent, muffled by soft surfaces. Her frustration, amplified by a late-night Uber as a woman alone, is valid; 60% of women report feeling unsafe traveling solo at night.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, says, “Small missteps can erode trust if not addressed.” The husband’s oversight wasn’t malicious, but dismissing her fear as her fault missed the mark. Her 22 calls signal panic, not pettiness, though waking him angrily escalated tension. About 30% of couples cite communication breakdowns in emergencies as trust breakers. She owned her key mistake but needed his reliability acknowledged.

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Dr. Gottman suggests a calm reset: she could say, “I felt scared alone; let’s ensure your phone’s audible for emergencies.” He should apologize and adjust settings—modern phones allow emergency bypass for select contacts. A spare key stash or car-sharing app could prevent repeats. Her late-night work schedule demands mutual planning. Reddit’s split—some call her dramatic, others back her fear—shows polarized views on “emergencies.” A couples’ talk, perhaps with a therapist, could align expectations.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit users were divided, with some slamming her reaction and others backing her worry. Here’s what they said:

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[Reddit User] - YTA. He's right: your mad at him for something you did. Him having his phone in silent was an accident, just like you forgetting your keys. No one except you did anything to you here.

KDSD628 - I don’t get the y t a ‘s. NTA I get what you are saying. My dad went through a very serious emergency a few years ago, and I live out of state. My mom kept trying to call my sister who lives 20 minutes from them, but her phone was dead (even though she was at home).

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So all she was able to get was the daughter a plane ride away who could do very little to help until I flew out (which I did within a few hours of course). There are settings on phones for this exact purpose to allow families to get in touch with you in an emergency. And while yours was not a true emergency this time, I understand why you are worried about what you would do if you had a true emergency in the future.

Also let’s be honest, waiting for an Uber alone late at night as a woman is definitely a little uncomfortable. I would have wanted my partner to at least know what was going on/stay on the phone with me while waiting for the Uber.. Anyways, he needs to figure out a better system. Especially since it sounds like you work late nights often.

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salmonberrycreek - YTA. Your first move here should have been taking an uber home. Calling someone 22 times in a row should be reserved for emergencies only. And calling friends after midnight over a minor inconvenience is totally innapropriate.. You could have 100% solved this non-emergency situation yourself. But you decided to make it everyone else's problem.

senanthic - NTA. This is a weird one. I didn’t realize so many people would be okay with their spouse being out of reach (unless it was something you both knew about ahead of time). The recent AITA about the dude whose fiancé was MIA for nine hours - he was quite right (from all replies) to flip because he couldn’t get in touch, but this person shouldn’t be mad, because… I don’t know.

If I were stranded somewhere and tried to call my partner and they ignored me, I’d be upset too. I’d also point out to them that if I had been calling for an emergency - say I was hospitalized and trying to get ahold of them - they would’ve missed my call, and that going forward they need to be more responsible about it.. But that’s an expectation for me, not you. If your spouse didn’t know you expected support…

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Jadertott - NAH. People here responding telling OP to call 911 if it *was* an emergency don’t get the point. The point is that OP’s partner was unable to be contacted. If there had been an emergency and emergency services were calling and calling, he *still* wouldn’t have answered.

*That* is what OP means when they worry about him not responding during an emergency. OP was not saying their partner should ACT as emergency services.. On the other side, her husband didn’t do it intentionally. There wasn’t malice here.. Everyone is *so* mad in the comments.. Take a break, guys.

Dangerous_Crab1232 - YTA. You took one moment where everything was stacked against your husband that he didn’t hear his phone go off, ignored his reasonable explanation, and jumped to “you’re unreliable in an emergency.” That’s not a reasonable way to talk through a conflict

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[Reddit User] - YTA. This wasn't an emergency...so you woke him up after midnight to yell at him for not waking up? Charming. What was so bad about waiting until morning to speak to him and ask he recheck his settings?

Not sure why you preferred to stew on your way home and start an argument at an ungodly hour over a mistake you made. You forgot your keys. You could have called an uber and gone back to your work eith spare keys if you really wanted to.

Blommer12345 - YTA. I don’t think I know a single person who has ever put their phone on silent who hasn’t at one point forgotten they’ve done so. It happens.. Also you do not call people 22 times for ‘forgotten keys’, especially not after midnight.

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Emergency’s after midnight are for the emergency services. If it’s not for the emergency’s services then it’s not a true emergency. You had your phone and the means to pay for a ride home. It was never an emergency, merely an inconvenience that you caused yourself.

SingleAlfredoFemale - You. Must. Chill. Seriously. You called him 22 TIMES?!?! You’re still mad TWO WEEKS later? That’s excessive. Why did you even call him to pick you up in the first place when you could have Uber’d? Knowing he was asleep? That’s pretty inconsiderate.

You want him to be concerned about you, but you weren’t concerned about him you literally wanted to wake him up to do what an Uber could (and did) do for you. Please try to think about other people, and get a hold of your anger.. 22 times. How are you not embarrassed?

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[Reddit User] - YTA he did not ignore your call, it was not an emergency, and now you can have a discussion about your expectations when you are out of the house and he is sleeping.

These Redditors are heated, but do they miss the couple’s deeper trust gap?

A forgotten key sparked a midnight marital clash, but this woman’s rage was less about the car and more about trust. Her husband’s silent phone left her stranded, fueling fears of unreliability in true emergencies. His defense missed her panic, while her wake-up call fanned flames. A calm talk and phone tweaks could sync their crisis plan, keeping small missteps from breaking bonds. What would you do when a partner’s oversight shakes your trust? Share your thoughts below—how do you rebuild reliability in a pinch?

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