AITA for vetoing all my husbands choices of dog breeds?

The living room feels emptier without the soft snuffle of their late French Bulldog, a loyal companion whose labored breaths still echo in her heart. After his passing, a woman stands at a crossroads with her husband, wrestling over what kind of dog—if any—should fill that void. Her husband’s heart is set on breeds she finds impractical or unhealthy, and her firm veto has sparked a heated standoff, with accusations of control flying. Readers can’t help but wonder: is she being reasonable or rigid in her refusal?

This tale of love, loss, and canine conflict resonates with anyone who’s navigated a tough decision with a partner. The emotional weight of losing a pet collides with practical concerns about lifestyle and animal welfare, pulling readers into a story that’s as heartfelt as it is relatable. Can this couple find common ground, or will their doggy dreams stay divided?

‘AITA for vetoing all my husbands choices of dog breeds?’

Our French bulldog (he had him before we met) just passed at the beginning of the year. My husband really, really wants another. While I loved that dog so much, I never ever want another Frenchie. I honestly don’t even think they should be bred anymore.

He had such severe breathing issues he would occasionally pass out from lack of oxygen. I would literally cry looking at him sometimes- just watching him struggle to even breathe just sitting there. Can’t do that again.

I personally would like to just go to a rescue and pick a dog. He, for some reason, has decided that if we can’t get a frenchie he wants a husky or a fricking Belgian Malinois. We do not have the lifestyle for either breed and I feel both the dog and we would be miserable. I’ve put my foot down on them as well.

He’s saying I’m being controlling and that this should be a joint decision and I can’t just say no- I think I’m being reasonable in how much dog we can handle.. AITA for vetoing the 3 breeds my husband wants?

UPDATE: after so many comments recommended it- I brought up a greyhound rescue and he agreed to look into it!! There is actually one about 20 miles away so we will call and make an appointment to either look or talk about it (not sure what steps this place takes) We have a fenced in yard, no other animals and an established vet (for references if this place asks) so fingers crossed it works out. Thanks for everyone suggesting!!!

Deciding on a pet can feel like picking a new family member, but when partners clash, it’s a recipe for tension. This couple’s conflict highlights a broader issue: choosing a pet that fits both lifestyle and ethics. The wife’s concerns about breed health and compatibility are valid, while her husband’s fixation on specific breeds suggests emotional attachment or aesthetic preference over practicality.

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Dr. Karen Becker, a veterinarian and pet wellness expert, emphasizes responsible pet selection: “Choosing a breed should align with your lifestyle and the animal’s welfare, not just personal desires” (Mercola Healthy Pets). The wife’s rejection of French Bulldogs, known for severe breathing issues, aligns with growing concerns about brachycephalic breeds. A 2021 study by the Royal Veterinary College found that 70% of French Bulldogs suffer from respiratory disorders (Royal Veterinary College). Her veto of Huskies and Belgian Malinois also makes sense—both are high-energy working breeds needing extensive exercise and training, unsuitable for most households.

The husband’s accusation of “control” may stem from frustration, but it overlooks the wife’s reasoned stance. Pet ownership requires mutual agreement, as mismatched expectations can lead to stressed animals and owners. Broader issues of breed health and overbreeding are at play—rescue dogs, as the wife suggests, often face fewer genetic issues due to “hybrid vigor,” as noted by pet health experts.

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Advice: The couple should research breeds together, focusing on low-maintenance, healthy options like Greyhounds, which they’re now exploring. Visiting a rescue, as they plan, is a great step—rescues assess lifestyle fit and offer healthier, often mixed-breed dogs. Open communication and compromise will ensure both the couple and their new pet thrive.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of fist bumps and raised eyebrows for this couple’s canine conundrum. It’s like a lively dog park debate where everyone’s got a bone to pick. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

maybenomaybe − NTA - it's just 3 breeds out of hundreds, and for good reasons. Why does your husband need a purebred anyway? Go to an animal rescue and give a lonely mutt a good home.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You should both agree before getting another dog. Did you tell him your reasons for not wanting those breeds?. Edited to change verdict - husband called her controlling, he's TA.

ChampawatReborn − Retired vet tech here: the Belgian Malinois and Husky will literally destroy your entire house if they are not properly exercised physically AND mentally every day...and god help you if you n**lect training in any capacity. And frenchies have a penchant for lots of underlying health issues, not just breathing problems.. Absolutely NTA

Cambridge_Comma − He wants to go from a French Bulldog to a Belgian Malinois? Does he have any idea the extreme difference in temperament between those 2 dogs??? What a recipe for disaster, unless he's done a ton of research.

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NTA ( Though I guess you could maybe get to no assholes if you told me he had done a ton of research and laid out plans for how hes going to train and take care of these much more high maintenance breeds than your previous. But I doubt it)

pepperbeast − NTA. Vetoing large and labour-intensive breeds when you don't actually have the resources to house and care for them is *right* and *sensible*. Not encouraging the breeding of animals so malformed they can't even breathe properly is basic humanity.

VPK- − NTA. Malinois are NOT for the average pet home, and they are not a trinket to brag with. You'll both be miserable. They need work training and a job to be content and they are never not ready to go go go.

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Husky is way more manageable but still a dog that needs a lot of attention and exercise to prevent redirecting energy towards destructiveness, and they are escape artists.. Frenchies CAN be healthy from a show breeder that health tests and offers health guarantees.. He's right. You BOTH need to agree on a breed. Together. It's a joint decision.

PhantomNiffler − NTA. I'm a firm believer in researching pets before buying. So many people seem to think 'a dog is a dog' and will get whatever breed they find pretty/appealing without considering their different needs.

You're right to take your lifestyle into account, and the health of the breed. Maybe try researching breeds that you feel would be a good fit and present them to your husband? Hopefully you can help him understand why it's best to be selective.

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UnsightlyFuzz − NTA. More people should be as thoughtful as you are being. I'm like you, I'm happy to have a mongrel... the opposite of inbreeding often found in pure-bred animals is 'hybrid vigor,' where breed characteristics favoring a look to the detriment of health are not present but a little bit of new blood.

At the same time, if you can determine the approximate parentage, it can help you know if the animal will be compatible with your lifestyle. If your husband says you are being controlling, counter with 'no, YOU are' and then offer some of the breeds or types of dog that appeal to you more. (You might need to do some research.)

[Reddit User] − NTA. Don't get a working dog unless you're willing to work with them ALL DAY LONG. Signed, former owner of a Border Collie who now has a mini schnauzer because I don't have all day to throw a tennis ball any more.

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ripecantaloupe − NTA. You aren’t “just saying no”. You’re backing up your opinion with facts and reality. Sounds like your husband just wants a designer dog and doesn’t care about its actual wellbeing. Yikes.

These Redditors rallied behind the wife’s practical stance, cheering her focus on animal welfare and lifestyle fit. Some called the husband’s breed picks a recipe for chaos, while others urged compromise. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just barking up the right tree?

This couple’s clash over dog breeds reveals the delicate balance of love, loss, and practical decision-making. The wife’s veto stems from care—for her late pet’s suffering and their future dog’s well-being—while her husband’s push for specific breeds reflects his own grief and desires. Their step toward a Greyhound rescue shows hope for compromise, proving that even heated debates can lead to happy tails. What would you do if you and your partner couldn’t agree on a pet? Share your stories and insights below!

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