AITA for using Make A Wish for myself?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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An 18-year-old’s hospital room, filled with the hum of monitors, became the backdrop for a deeply personal decision. As a Make-A-Wish recipient, the Redditor faced years of chronic illness and surgeries, yet hesitated to claim a wish, wary of family pressure. When the moment finally came, their choice of a tech shopping spree for university sparked a firestorm, with their mother selling a gifted computer and their brother branding them selfish.

The sting of betrayal cut deeper than any scalpel, as the Redditor’s practical wish geared toward a future of independence—was met with accusations of greed. This saga of courage and conflict, set against the weight of family expectations, pulls readers into a raw struggle over who deserves to benefit from a wish meant for one.

‘AITA for using Make A Wish for myself?’

If you don’t know make a wish is an organization that donates wishes to those with a chronic or terminal illness. When I was younger I have always been asked by this organization to make a wish for anything whether it be trips or something I would like for myself personally.

However throughout the years I have refused them because I didn’t think I needed anything and also because my siblings kept asking me if they wanted to grant me a wish because I was gonna die soon even though it turns out that that was never the case.

So I turned 18 and since that time I have underwent 3 surgeries since graduating high school. I have also had to take medical leave from university since the surgery didn’t go well. During that time, make a wish had asked me if I wanted to wish for something and that this was my last chance to do so and I told them I would consider it and let them know when I was ready.

When I was ready to make my wish I kept being pressured about wishing for a family trip even though I honestly am not interested in travelling anywhere. Because of COVID the travelling trips were canceled and felt as if there was an opening to ask if I could get tuition money for school but was told that they don’t really do those kinds of wishes.

At the end I finally decided on a shopping spree to get the tech that I know I would need to purchase for university down the road and also the ones I wanted. My mom has always been there in the hospital for me and felt as though it was selfish of me to make a wish that didn’t benefit her or the family.

And as a result decided to sell the computer (one of the gifts I got). I was also told by my brother that it was selfish of me to get this for myself and should have spent it equally on the whole family as they all suffer when I’m sick.

I know it’s true but I am a student and wanted to have the ability to work from the comfort of my home and have an office setup because In high school I always had to complete assignments at school or share the laptop amongst my siblings.. I’m wondering am I the a**hole for wishing for myself.

This story reveals the painful clash of individual needs versus family expectations. The Redditor, an 18-year-old battling chronic illness, chose a Make-A-Wish tech spree to support their education, only to face accusations of selfishness. Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, a chronic illness expert, writes, “Healing comes from honoring one’s own needs”. The Redditor’s wish prioritized their future, yet their family’s response undermines this.

The family’s pressure for a shared wish reflects a broader issue: entitlement in caregiving dynamics. A 2023 study in Family Relations found that 62% of families with chronically ill members report tension over perceived unequal burdens. The mother’s sale of the computer and the brother’s guilt-tripping suggest they view the wish as collective property, ignoring its purpose for the recipient’s joy.

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Dr. Remen’s insight affirms the Redditor’s right to prioritize their education. The mother’s actions, potentially theft, and the brother’s harsh words reveal a lack of empathy for the Redditor’s struggles. Make-A-Wish exists to uplift the individual, not the family. The Redditor’s choice was practical, aligning with their goal of independence despite medical setbacks.

To resolve this, the Redditor should set firm boundaries, possibly involving Make-A-Wish’s intervention to protect their gifts. Legal advice (resources at LegalAid.org) could address the computer’s sale. Building a support network outside family, through counseling or peer groups, can foster resilience. Their wish was a step toward empowerment—others facing similar pressures should honor their own needs without guilt.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s community rallied behind the Redditor, affirming their right to a personal wish. They condemned the family’s actions, particularly the mother’s sale of the computer, as selfish and disrespectful, arguing that Make-A-Wish is meant for the recipient’s benefit.

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Commenters urged the Redditor to protect their assets and seek support from Make-A-Wish or legal channels. They praised the Redditor’s resilience, emphasizing that the family’s guilt-tripping unfairly shifted focus from the individual’s suffering to their own perceived hardships.

yourangleoryuordevil − NTA—You shouldn't feel guilty for doing something that benefits you greatly. You didn't intentionally hurt anyone, and your opportunity to make a wish has wrongfully become overshadowed by your family taking it personally, as though it's their wish to make as well.

***It's not you but your family who is selfish.*** On a lighter note, congratulations on graduating high school and making it to university. You deserve the ability to celebrate yourself, always.

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jenangeles − NTA. My brother was also a make a wish recipient and it didn’t even cross my mind that his wish would be something to benefit the family. It would have been lovely to have a holiday but he was the one that was sick, so it would make sense that it was something for him.

[Reddit User] − NTA You’re supposed to wish for something for yourself. The whole point is to help the child whose suffering have something to enjoy and look forward too. I don’t doubt that your parents and siblings had it hard as well, but there’s a reason it’s Make a Wish for sick children and not Make a Wish for siblings of sick children or Make a Wish for adults related to sick children. It’s for you.

WebbieVanderquack − NTA. I can understand your family wanting to take a trip, and I can understand that your health problems and surgeries were stressful for them too, but I **can't** excuse them pressuring you to use your wish for the family.. That is absolutely not the point of Make-A-Wish. It's for you, and you've used it very wisely.

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largefootdd − NTA for making whatever wish you want. And if I’m reading this correctly, your mom sold your computer without your permission. That’s theft.

[Reddit User] − Oh hell to the no. You are NTA at all. You shouldn't have sold the computer. The make a wish scheme is for the recipient only and your family is way out of line. Think of it this way. Aren't they being selfish for trying to benefit from your illness? Isn't your brother a bit of an AH for claiming the whole family suffers?

I don't doubt they worry and stuff but what they experience isn't even close to your suffering every day. After all you have been through, they were trying to guilt you into asking for a wish that THEY want. And when you didn't comply they are trying to guilt you even more. And they're succeeding.

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Honey, you did nothing wrong and don't let them make you believe you did. If they want a trip they can pay for one themselves. The foundation is you benefit you. There is nothing else to it.. Hugs xxx

shankworks − NTA - Tell your 'family' that their dream of cashing in on a sick kid's wish is so unoriginal that the make-a-wish people actually screen for greedy family members manipulating their sick kids for personal gain.

pittsburgpam − NTA and if I were you I would seriously consider reporting what your mother did. To who? To Make-A-Wish? You are an adult at 18 (at least in the US) and she stole your computer and sold it.

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bttrflyr − NTA, i can understand to some extent their POV but it sounds like they’re making their love and care for you as you recover entirely conditional. Especially since your mom stole your computer and sold it, they’re treating it like you owe them for all the time you spent in the hospital and dealing with your condition.

That’s not a healthy family dynamic at all. Your wish was perfectly reasonable and it all goes towards helping you be as successful in your life as your can be. It’s a shame your family can’t understand and instead puts their own desires above you like that.

my-assassin-mittens − As a fellow (albeit former, I'm 20 now) Make-a-Wish candidate, hard NTA. You're in charge of your own decisions and decided what would help you the most. I understand that perhaps your family was hoping for something that included them, trust me I've seen my family suffer mentally and physically from my condition

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but it would have been more reasonable to air her frustrations than sell your property without your consent, especially since depending on the paperwork that could be considered theft.

I really don't blame you for putting school first, seeking higher education with a chronic illness is such an uphill battle and every little push helps, so I'm happy that someone is there to support you. I hope eventually your mom and brother see your perspective and compensate you for the laptop. Hang in there.

This tale of a Make-A-Wish choice gone awry underscores the power of personal agency amid family pressure. The Redditor’s wish for tech was a bold step toward independence, yet met with betrayal. How do you balance personal needs with family expectations in tough times? Share your stories to keep this conversation alive.

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