AITAH for getting a restraining order against my ex girlfriend and then enforcing it, causing her problems?

In a twist that could rival any modern day drama, a young caregiver found himself battling not only the challenges of parenthood at an early age but also a relentless ex who refused to let go. With an unwavering commitment to his siblings’ safety, he navigated a maze of legal hurdles while confronting unsettling behaviors that teetered on obsession. The stakes were raised when the threat escalated to an overwhelming intrusion into his life, leaving him with little choice but to take legal action.

As tensions simmered and the family’s fragile peace hung in the balance, every day turned into a test of endurance, responsibility, and love. The air was thick with the urgency of protecting innocent lives, and every encounter carried the weight of potential danger—a scenario that calls for both compassion and a measured firmness in the pursuit of justice.

‘AITAH for getting a restraining order against my ex girlfriend and then enforcing it, causing her problems?’

Sorry for the throw away, i only have reddit for the parenting subs to help me with the raising of my 3 siblings and i don't want this linked back to me as i am a private person. I 28m am currently taking care of my 3 younger siblings. 12M, 12F, 16F since my sister 16F was born.

Our parents are no where to be found. I don't know if they are in the same state or even in America at the moment, dead or alive and i dont really care. I don't know what happend but when my first sibling was born everything was passed on to me and the same with my other siblings as soon as they were born as well.

Long story short and to give a basic description, i am mom and dad to my siblings. I have taken care of them all of their lives, they know I'm their brother but sometimes slip up and call me dad. Our home became completely toxic and when i turned 18 i moved out into a small 2 bedroom apartment and took my siblings with me.

I worked myself to the bone with taking care of my siblings, working and school. It took me longer that i would like to admit but i finished school and got a good job. I eventually saved up enough and bought a house for me and my siblings, 4 years ago. I took the legal steps after i got my house and my siblings are now legally in my custody.

I did get in a bit of trouble from the social worker because i never reported anything but all legal matter have now been settled.. The reason for me posting here. A couple of months ago, like 4 or 5 i think, i broke up with my then girlfriend of 1 year. My little sister got her period and i helped her through her first period.

She got cleaned up and then i explaining everything in detail to her. My now ex completely blew up on me and called me a pig, creep, pedo and a bunch of other things. My sister 12F just ran out of the living room and locked herself in her room. I told my ex to leave my house.

It took me almost the full day to get my sister to talk to me and she only did after my other sister 16F came home from a sleep over for her to talk to me. My sister 16f helped alot by also explaining that i did nothing wrong, she even told my sister 12f that i helped her through her first period and that she is lucky because she now has 2 people to help her.

Me and her (16f) My ex did come back to my house but i told her we where done and kicked her out again. The problem was that she started to follow us around, stalking us. Every store i went into she all of the sudden was there, if we went to the park she was at the park.

I did block her and made sure that she was blocked on all of my siblings phones as well but we did start to receive phone calls and messages from other numbers that was clearly her trying to excuse her actions with a sob story. This went on for a month untill she tried to sign my little brother and sister out of school one morning after i dropped them off with a fake permission letter.

Luckily the receptionist called me and i was able to stop her from signing my siblings out if school. That is when i filed for the restraining order, i got all the evidence, photos, messages, calls everything and we got the restraining order. Me or my siblings running into her at places dropped considerably.

She has violated the restraining order a couple of times since then and when i went to the police they told me, they couldn't do much as it can't be proven that she is doing it deliberately and when we run into her she doesn't stop us she just continues on her way or leave wherever we are at.

I don't know how she knows where we are all the time but i have seen her multiple times even when i changed my schedule for when i do things, changed the stores where i buy groceries, shopping everything. Recently the house next to mine got put on the market for rent and geuss who want to rent it, i noticed her showing up to the house with a real-estate agent to look at the house.

She came up to me with a smile and said i guess we will be neighbors from now on. I went into the house and showed the real-estate agent the restraining order and then called the police.. This time they took me seriously and my ex was arrested. My ex lost the house as the company is refusing here business and the agent has given a statement to the police that my ex has asked specifically to rent the house next to mine..

My ex was arrested but not imprisoned and only had to pay a fine. I am now receiving a bunch of calls and messages calling me an ashole for destroying my exs life, she is being evicted from her apartment (same rental company). She might loose her job as she can't find a place to stay within her budget and possibly has to move back in with her parents living in a different state.

Her own sister, and friends are refusing to help her. Don't really know why they don't want to help her but, i don't see that as my problem as long as my siblings are safe. Some of my own friend are calling me an ashole because, me enforced the restraining order and causing my ex unnecessary problems as she is really no threat to me and i am now being vindictive.

Letting your partner meet your family can feel like a monumental step in a relationship. In this case, the narrative underscores how personal boundaries are often challenged when personal safety and legal responsibilities intersect. The OP’s situation reflects a deeper societal conflict where emotional trauma, family duty, and legal enforcement converge. His decision to secure a restraining order, though controversial, emerges as a desperate yet pragmatic measure to protect his siblings from potential harm.

Analyzing the episode reveals multiple layers: on one hand, the ex’s behavior gradually escalated from verbal hostility to persistent stalking. The recurring, almost predatory presence at everyday locations, regardless of schedule changes, highlights a systematic and possibly premeditated attempt to undermine the family’s well‑being. On the other hand, it illuminates the often-blurred lines between safeguarding and perceived vindictiveness, especially when legal interventions disrupt personal histories.

Broadening the issue, this story touches upon the complex reality of enforcing restraining orders. Despite their intended protective function, many such orders suffer from uneven enforcement.

According to recent reports on domestic safety, “restraining orders serve as a critical legal tool, yet the challenges of consistent application and monitoring mean that their protective shield isn’t always impenetrable.” Such observations remind us that the legal system, though well‐intentioned, may not fully bridge the gap between written law and human behavior.

According to Dr. Sherry Hamby, a professor of psychology specializing in domestic violence, “Restraining orders can be a crucial first step in protecting vulnerable individuals; however, their effectiveness often depends on rigorous and consistent enforcement by law enforcement agencies.”

This insight underscores the delicate balance between legal remedy and practical implementation. It also suggests that while the OP’s actions were justified in the pursuit of safety, there remains a systemic need for more proactive measures to truly prevent recurring harassment.

In light of this analysis, the advice is clear: families facing similar threats should document every encounter meticulously and seek legal counsel promptly. Engaging with support groups and local advocacy organizations may provide both emotional support and practical guidance. Strengthening communication between victims and law enforcement, along with community-based initiatives, can help bridge enforcement gaps and ensure safety remains the top priority.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit community’s response to the story is a mix of empathy, pragmatic judgment, and cautious criticism. Overall, many users expressed support for prioritizing family safety, applauding the decisive measures taken to protect the siblings, while others raised concerns about potential overreactions and long-term consequences.

The collective sentiment underscores the complexity of balancing personal protection with the repercussions of legal action. This wide-ranging discussion reflects both personal experiences and broader debates about accountability, responsibility, and the nuances of enforcing protective boundaries within challenging family dynamics.

EngineerLostonPertam − Great job, exactly how this needed to be handled. 🎉🎉🎉

Trailsya − NTA. And stop talking to your absolutely insane friends who stick up for this weird woman.. You did what you needed to do to protect yourself and your siblings.. Even if you did it purely out of vindictiveness, I'd still think NTA

Her own sister, and friends are refusing to help her. Don't really know why they don't want to help her. I am guessing she made victims of them in some way as well.. This woman is an out of control stalker. Document everything she does and keep the evidence.

ThrowawayMouse12 − I feel like I’ve read this post from the girlfriends perspective months ago.

deathboyuk − SHE TRIED TO ABDUCT YOUR SIBLINGS.. She IS a threat!. NTA

Perfect-Quarter8237 − The fact that she tried getting the kids out of school with a fake letter ( which I believe is fraud, attempted kidnapping even), went as far as specifically wanting to rent the house next door and she keeps popping up everywhere...

How's that not potentially harmful? Even if not physically, it's mentally draining always having to look over your shoulders. OP also needs to re-evaluate those friends siding with his crazy unhinged ex. NTA, protect your family at all costs!!

Total_Pin_3996 − Oh my god i think she made a post cuz i saw this story where this girl blew up at her bf about him helping his sister when she got her first period then got dumped. Lemme try to find it. ETA: Found the link and hell no NTA.. [This is what I'm talking about](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/1qLVnyUlPQ)

tizianagt − NTA. Not sure if anyone has mentioned this yet, but if she kept showing up wherever you were even when you changed routines, she may have put tracking software on your phone or air tag in your car or something. I would definitely search your vehicles, your phone, and siblings phones. Would be another restraining order violation and maybe a felony. Best of luck getting her away from you permanently.

Madmattylock − NTA. I remember your ex’s post about the menstrual situation. She’s a wacko!!

MemoryExternal3960 − NTA. You did what any responsible and caring older sibling would do. You protected your siblings from a toxic and potentially dangerous situation. And let's not forget, your ex girlfriend was the one who violated the restraining order, not you. You did everything you could to ensure your siblings' safety and that's what matters most.

As for your ex's current situation, it's not your fault that she made poor choices and now has to deal with the consequences. It's not your responsibility to fix her life. Your priority should always be your siblings and their well-being. Keep up the good work, you're doing an amazing job as a parent to them.

Ironmike11B − I don't know how she knows where we are all the time. Check your car. She possibly hid something like an apple air tag on it. Also, make sure you're not sharing locations with her. She could have done this when you weren't carrying your phone.

In conclusion, the narrative we’ve seen today forces us to confront the fine line between protectiveness and perceived vindictiveness. The OP’s journey reminds us that sometimes drastic legal measures become necessary when personal safety is at stake.

What do you think about the balance between legal action and personal responsibility? Have you ever encountered a situation where you had to choose between protecting loved ones and the potential consequences of those choices? Share your thoughts and experiences—let the discussion begin.

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