AITA for turning into a ‘bridezilla’ at my fiancé and MIL over the dress my daughter will wear to our wedding?

The wedding bells were supposed to chime sweetly, but for one bride-to-be, they’re starting to sound like a fire alarm. In a cozy corner of the UK, a woman’s dream of a small, heartfelt Italian wedding has been steamrolled by her overbearing mother-in-law, turning her plans into a glitzy spectacle she barely recognizes. The real sting? Her fiancé, once her partner in dreaming of a simple elopement, has flipped sides, leaving her feeling like the villain in her own love story.

This tale, plucked from the buzzing forums of Reddit, captures the heartbreak of a bride caught between her vision and her future family’s demands. With a premature baby in tow and a mother-in-law who’s moved in down the street, the stakes are high. The clash over a tiny dress for her daughter—crafted with love by the bride, a former wedding dress designer—has sparked a fiery debate about boundaries, loyalty, and what it means to stand your ground.

‘AITA for turning into a ‘bridezilla’ at my fiancé and MIL over the dress my daughter will wear to our wedding?’

I'm Getting married in September, it’s been postponed twice already because of Covid. Friction has developed between myself and MIL over wedding plans. SO used to complain about how controlling/ overbearing she is, but has now sided with her. We were getting married last year but had to cancel because of lockdown (we’re from UK).

it was a small wedding in Italy. Just 16 guests & having a bigger party when we got home. I didn't want a big wedding so this was my idea of perfection and I thought my fiancés too, he brought up eloping way before I said anything. I wanted to make sure parents & friends were there but he wasn’t fussed about anyone being there.

Over a year that version of the wedding was cancelled a 2nd time, MIL moved down the road & I got pregnant. Since MIL moved she’s been hell. I had the baby prematurely in Dec. She is fine but while still in hospital MIL told me all the things I'd done ‘wrong’ during the pregnancy that caused the premature birth.

She visits all the time unannounced, I have begged her to at least call ahead and does things with baby I ask her not to but she knows best. Also told us she was glad our wedding had been cancelled as we were making a big mistake, & we were really going to regret it if we didn’t have a ‘proper’ wedding.

I tried to laugh about it after with SO saying we’re doing what we want, but he had done a full 180 on what he wanted. MIL has completely hijacked planning our September wedding. It's now a lot more your traditional over the top big white wedding. It probably would be the perfect wedding for someone else but it really isn’t what I wanted.

The one thing I was adamant on was that I was making my wedding dress and baby’s dress. I used to be a bespoke wedding dress designer, so it’s an area I’m pretty talented in. I’ve already made my own dress & designed baby’s, mocked it up but waiting closer to the time to physically make it so the size is right.

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It’s been very clear this was the plan so when MIL came to us gushing about the dress she just got baby to wear for wedding, I was livid. I said take it back, I'm making the dress. She said I should be grateful she’d been proactive when I hadn't, that baby would probably have nothing to wear on the day if it was left to me.

She said it cost her a lot of money and won’t be able to return it. I left & fiancé told me she broke down crying and was ‘inconsolable’. After He shouted at me for treating his mum like that and told me how I was turning into a bridezilla. I asked for him to support me on this 1 thing as I was giving up everything else.

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He said that I haven’t even made the dress so what does it matter if she wears something else. I asked him to tell me the truth on if he even wanted this wedding as it was a hell of a lot of money to just throw at a party we were both going to hate. He couldn't give me a straight answer. AITA

This wedding drama isn’t just about tulle and tantrums—it’s a classic case of boundary battles. Family dynamics can turn even the sweetest milestones into a tug-of-war, especially when a mother-in-law steps in as the self-appointed wedding planner. The bride’s frustration is palpable: she’s lost control of her day and feels betrayed by her fiancé’s sudden allegiance to his mother.

The core issue here is respect—or the lack of it. The mother-in-law’s actions, from unannounced visits to unsolicited dress purchases, scream control, while the fiancé’s flip-flopping signals a deeper loyalty conflict. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “A partner’s inability to prioritize their spouse over family can erode trust, creating long-term resentment.” This rings true for the bride, who’s left questioning her fiancé’s commitment.

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This situation reflects a broader issue: navigating in-law relationships in high-stakes moments. A 2023 study from the American Psychological Association found that 60% of couples report in-law conflicts as a significant stressor. The bride’s push for her daughter’s dress isn’t just about fabric—it’s about reclaiming her voice. Experts suggest setting clear boundaries early, like calmly stating, “I appreciate your input, but this is our decision.” For the bride, couples counseling could help her and her fiancé align on priorities, ensuring their wedding—and marriage—reflects their shared vision.

The solution lies in communication and compromise. The bride could involve her mother-in-law in a small, meaningful way, like choosing table decor, while firmly holding her ground on personal choices like the baby’s dress. This balances respect with autonomy, keeping the peace without sacrificing her dreams.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for our bride-to-be. From calling out the fiancé’s “mama’s boy” vibes to urging a full-on wedding cancellation, the comments are a rollercoaster of empathy and tough love. Here’s what the internet had to say:

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Unhappy-Coffee-1917 − NTA.. Think about whether you really want to marry a man that is already married to his mother?. Seriously though, this is a little sneak peek into your future. You still have time.

Express_Anything_279 − NTA Here is what you do:. 1. You tell your SO that he either marries you or his mother, no discussion. 2. The wedding will go down the way you guys want to, not MIL and she will have ZERO input.. 3. Your MIL will NEVER visit you again without consent from you.. That is it, if he says anything, that is your sign to leave and get child support.

LennyBrisco01 − NTA but reconsider marrying this guy before its too late. He and his mom deserve each other, you deserve better

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laughingsbetter − You are not the bridezilla. While your SO has said his mother is overbearing, when it comes down to the time to stand by you, he is a whimpering mamas boy. Is this the type of man you want to marry?

Is your relationship with him right now or his with his mother something you would ever want your dear little girl to see as the way relationships should be?. . Think long and hard for your and your dear baby. NTA

Zealousideal_Sea_474 − NTA. Your fiance is a groomzilla tho. Y'all should sit down and have a talk. Do both of you want this wedding? Do you want any wedding? Do you even want this relationship anymore? Etc.

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No_Elephant3224 − NTA. Cancel the wedding and use the money to move away from your MIL

[Reddit User] − I think by not giving you an answer, he just gave you an answer. Imo I would cancel the wedding and either go to couples counseling or end the relationship. Being married to a man who is already married to his mother sounds exhausting.. NTA.

WaDaEp − He's letting his mother walk all over you. Say hello to a preview of your marriage.. NTA.

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3InaRow − NTA. I think this belongs in r/relationships There's also a MIL sub, but this is about your relationship with your fiance. He is not on your side, and it's hurting any relationship you can have with your MIL. I feel like you don't need to be a bridezilla. Just sit down with chance and tell him you don't want this wedding, and plan what you want to do. Cancel everything you don't want to do.

Yeah, you'll lose deposits, but not as much as the total cost. Tell your MIL, you understand her perspective, but making your daughters dress brings you joy, but thank you for thinking about her. You don't have to be mean about it. If you are assertive and not mean then you don't have to worry about her being upset. That's something that she needs to process and work out on her own.

mfruitfly − NTA. Cancel the wedding. I'm not saying break up, but cancel the wedding. Don't spend a dime on something you don't want, and a wedding shouldn't cause you and your fiance to fight. This will also hopefully give him the reality check he needs that this isn't working. Also, take a big step back from how much MIL is in your lives.

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Sit your fiance down and tell him this isn't working- both the wedding planning and how he allows MIL to treat you and that you can't marry him until this is settled. He shouldn't shout at you, shouldn't call you a bridezilla, and shouldn't let MIL tell you what you did wrong with your own pregnancy.

These hot takes are raw and real, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the drama flames?

This bride’s story is a reminder that weddings, while joyous, can unearth deep family tensions. Her fight for her daughter’s dress isn’t just about style—it’s about holding onto her identity amid chaos. With a fiancé caught in the middle and a mother-in-law calling the shots, she’s at a crossroads. Should she push for her dream wedding or rethink the whole commitment? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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