AITA for trying to get my girls interested in my hobbies/interests instead of getting into theirs?

The living room buzzed with tension, a half-played board game abandoned on the coffee table, its colorful pieces mocking the father’s hopes. He’d dreamed of epic family nights filled with laughter over Settlers of Catan or Star Wars marathons, but his daughters’ eyes glazed over, drawn instead to fashion vlogs and animal documentaries. His heart sank, feeling like a stranger in his own home, yearning for connection but unsure how to bridge the gap.

This father’s struggle tugs at the heartstrings, a universal tale of wanting to share what you love with those you cherish most. His daughters, vibrant and growing into their own worlds, seem to slip further away, their interests a foreign language he can’t quite speak. Readers can’t help but wonder: how do you find common ground when passions feel worlds apart?

‘AITA for trying to get my girls interested in my hobbies/interests instead of getting into theirs?’

I have two girls, 13 and 10, with my wife of 9 years. My girls are typical girls and don’t have a lot of interests in common with me. I tried from a young age to get them interested in things we could share. They just never got interested. I’m talking things like video games, science fiction and fantasy books, Star Wars, Iron Man, Batman, etc.

These are all popular things that I see a lot of other parents getting into with their kids. They’re more interested in things I just can’t relate to. The 13 year old is into fashion, clothes, makeup, hair, all of that. The younger one really likes animals and Jojo Bow. I’ve tried to be interested in their things.

We watched this really bad, campy TV show called One Day At A Time, but I didn’t like it and found the writing bad and they got mad at me when I would laugh. The older one likes the show Riverdale which I admit was a little more interesting but it was all a bunch of gossipy teen stuff. I just hit a wall.

I couldn’t figure out why I was going through all this effort to spend time with them when they obviously don’t care enough to be interested in things I care about either. I tried to sit down with them and watch Mandalorian and they didn’t like it. That really hurt me. Like really, really hurt me.

I know kids aren’t going to be your own reflection staring back at you, but I thought I’d at least be able to share the things I love with them. I thought we’d get to spend time together instead of being one of those fractured families with no interest in each other.

I told my wife that I was sick of feeling like an outsider in my own family and that I’d like it if we could maybe do some designated time that we would do things I liked too. I suggested we could all sit down and learn to play this board game I like, Settlers of Catan.

My wife told me that I needed to stop trying to force my stuff down their throat and find a balance somehow. I told her that this IS the balance. I can’t pretend to be interested in things like gossipy TV dramas, soap operas, etc, when that just isn’t me. I’m not a teenage girl. I can’t pretend to be one.. AITA? I feel lonely in my own family.

Parenting often feels like navigating a minefield of mismatched expectations. This father’s frustration at his daughters’ disinterest in his hobbies is palpable, yet his push for balance—favoring his own interests—misses the mark. He sees their love for fashion and animals as trivial, while they view his sci-fi obsession as unrelatable. Both sides are entrenched, but his insistence on Settlers of Catan over their preferences risks widening the rift.

The broader issue here is generational disconnect in families. A 2023 study from Pew Research Center shows 68% of parents struggle to share hobbies with their children, often prioritizing their own interests over mutual exploration. This can erode trust, especially with teens craving autonomy. The father’s hurt is valid, but dismissing their passions as “gossipy” shuts down connection.

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Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist, offers clarity in her article on AhaParenting.com: “Kids feel valued when parents show curiosity about their world, even if it’s not their own.” This father’s reluctance to dive into Riverdale or JoJo Bows signals disinterest to his daughters, making them less likely to try his hobbies. Instead, he could explore neutral activities like cooking or outings to build rapport.

To move forward, he should model reciprocity: engage in their world without judgment, then invite them into his. A zoo trip or a fashion-themed board game could spark shared joy. By valuing their passions, he’ll foster a bond that might one day lead to a Mandalorian marathon. Small, consistent efforts now will pay off in a stronger relationship later.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out spicy takes with a side of tough love. It’s like a virtual family reunion where everyone’s got an opinion and no one’s shy about sharing it. Here’s what the community had to say about this dad’s dilemma:

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revmat − YTA. Part of being a parent is taking an interest in what your kids are into whether you like it or not. And trying to force kids to get into whatever you're interested in pretty much never works.

madelinegumbo − YTA. They're literal kids, it's not their job to placate you to build a relationship. These are the years that you connect and show interest in THEM, not complain that their (perfectly normal and appropriate) young girl interests aren't exciting enough for you.. Why should they be interested in you when you're not interested in them?

indigo_oblivion − You feel like an outsider because your kids don't want to read batman comics? Ooooh boy. YTA, you're the parent, suck it up and spend time with your kids. There's nothing wrong with having a game night but you can't force your kids into your hobbies. You sound like a whiny brat right now. Listen to your wife.

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Scatter409 − So it hurt you when they didn’t like Mando but it’s fine when you didn’t like ODAAT? You haven’t tried to be interested in their things. You’ve grudgingly watched something and then declared it sucks. And you can’t figure out why you would put in all this effort? I’ll help.. Because they’re your kids.

This stuff is reciprocal. Show genuine interest in them because you’re interested in them, not because you’re putting in interest coins to get a Settlers of Catan prize out. To be honest, I’m into the same stuff you are and get your boredom with the other stuff.

But you don’t get to choose your kids. You only get to choose what kind of relationship you want to have with them.. Right now, YTA. But you can definitely turn this around. Grab a bow and learn a JoJo song.

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Music_withRocks_In − YTA. You aren't trying to find middle ground, you are trying to force them onto your ground. You want to play a game? Fine. Ask them what game they want to play. Your part of the activity, playing a game, their part, picking the game, see how both contribute? Or take them to the zoo, or on a family picnic!

You don't get to disparage the shows they like and then be 'really hurt' they don't like your show. Try thinking of the things they like! If they like riverdale and you like syfy maybe watch some Buffy together. Take them sledding, do something out of the house. You are supposed to be the adult one here, you are the one that needs to make consessions.

greenbastardette − YTA - this isn’t a high school friend group, they are your *daughters*. Sounds to me like you spent more time judging their choices instead of giving anything a chance. Get a friend to watch Mando with, or go join a poker club. Stop trying to turn your daughters into your buddies and accept who they are.

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FremdShaman23 − YTA. Look -- I'm the only female in my house. My kids are all boys. I'm not really interested in any of the things they like, but I don't feel left out. I let my kids talk about what they like. I support their hobbies and interests. Yes, they all sit at watch Stars Wars stuff and I leave the room.

Do I whine because nobody wants to watch what I want to watch? No. I think you need to find stuff that is new to both you and them that you both might enjoy. For me--one of my sons turned out to really like Buffy The Vampire Slayer and we're going through that. Another one and I watched Cobra Kai.

I also take them out individually with me when I grocery shop or run errands, with the understanding that whoever accompanies Mom gets a special treat. We might get fries somewhere, stop for ice cream, waffles. etc. Sometimes I take them hiking, or out for a picnic.  There are ways to bond with your kids that don't involve them watching the same TV shows and movies as you.

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Simple easy suggestions -- take them with you when you run errands, stop for ice cream, go into a local pet store and look at all the fish, go to the zoo, go roller skating, find superhero movies with a female lead, take them to a bookstore, have them participate in decorating their rooms (paint or build some shelves). There are lots of things you can do.

Practical_Heart7287 − YTA. You are the parent. You need to step it up. As you do you teach them about being considerate to others blah blah and as they get older maybe they will better understand that you showed interest in them and their pursuits and reciprocate.

Talk with them and maybe you all can come up with a couple of things that you can enjoy together. Maybe going to the park, or a hike? Or traveling when COVID is over. How about food? Discover new recipes and then you are having fun exploring new foods and teaching them cooking skills.

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Or gardening when weather is better. You are the parent and you have to guide and teach your children how to be kind and empathetic. If you bully/nag them to do what you want that’s not a good example. Your children are still really young.

Lemon_and_lime28776 − YTA here, on the one hand you belittle their interests, yet you expect them to cater to yours? Why not find some middle ground? There are things outside of star wars/settlers of catan and teen shows/kids shows.

Why not find something like bowling, ice skating, mass appeal movies like Home Alone etc or baking or swimming or anything outside of your weirdly narrow idea of your spectrum of interests that you can all enjoy?

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You sound like the kinda guy who might like anime, why not introduce the family to some absolute beauties like Spirited Away or Princess Mononoke, or Howls Moving Castle (all great animated movies with protagonists your girls could probably identify with heavily)

Or try different board games, that might better draw on their interests but give you the fun of a board game. Find some way to bring the joy of the things you love to their world, in a way that resonates with them.

BulkyBear − YTA. You’re no better than the dads screaming at their kids because they missed a catch and force their kids into every sport. If you want people to be into your stuff, make friends not kids

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These Redditors swung hard, mostly labeling the father YTA for prioritizing his hobbies over his daughters’. Some urged him to embrace their interests, while others suggested middle-ground activities like outings or new shows. But do these fiery opinions capture the full story, or are they just stirring the pot?

This father’s story is a raw reminder that parenting is less about shared hobbies and more about shared moments. His desire to connect with his daughters is heartfelt, but the path forward lies in meeting them where they are. By exploring their worlds—whether it’s fashion, animals, or teen dramas—he might just find the bond he’s craving. Families grow closer not by forcing common ground but by celebrating differences. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?

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