AITA for Trying to Get a Female Employee to Follow the Office Dress Code?

In a sleek office where first impressions seal deals, a vibrant coworker’s punk style became the spark for a workplace showdown. Sporting pink highlights, a nose ring, and tattoos from neck to toe, she greets clients in a midriff-baring tank top, drawing raised eyebrows and snarky comments from visiting reps. An employee, fed up after a client’s jab about “hiring anybody,” pushed her manager to enforce the dress code, only to ignite a firestorm when the coworker cried discrimination. Picture the tension: a clash of personal expression versus professional polish.

The employee’s plea wasn’t about firing her—just aligning her look with the office’s business casual vibe. But with the coworker digging in and managers caught in the crossfire, the office buzzes with debate. This Reddit saga dives into the thorny tangle of workplace rules, client expectations, and individual flair. Is enforcing a dress code fair game, or a step too far?

‘AITA for Trying to Get a Female Employee to Follow the Office Dress Code?’

I work with clients and my job basically boils down to answering their questions and keeping them happy. Every 3 months, we hold meetings with their reps. We have an employee that has it all. Pink and platinum-blond highlights, a nose ring, and tattoos all over her body from the neck down.

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She wears heavy amounts of make-up and basically looks like a punk. She also wears a tank top that exposes her midriff and her straps. She sits near the office entrance and is one of the first people you see on your way in.

She's been with us for the past 8 months and every single time, without fail, I notice our clients' reps (from different companies) all give her weird looks. I've even seen them rolling their eyes at her. The last straw was from my latest meeting where the rep outright said 'Wow you hire just about anybody here, huh?'

and he jerks his head towards her desk at the front. I try to laugh it off and say 'Good help is hard to find.' He just raises his eyebrows and mutters 'She must be damn good at her job.' After he left, I went to talk to the girl's manager about enforcing the dress code and how it's making our business look bad.

Our office dress code is simple: business casual, no facial piercings (therefore earrings are okay), and no facial tattoos (I actually had to look that up). It doesn't say anything about make-up but none of the other women in the office have the goth/punk look either. Her manager promised he'd talk to her about it.

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A week later, I hear back that things have escalated. The girl in question adamantly refuses to adhere to the dress code and has fired back about the issue by claiming discrimination. I hear they don't want to fire her, but they also don't like hearing me tell them that our clients' reps have an issue with who we hire and how they present themselves.

I don't want her to be fired, but I also don't want her attire and appearance to detract from my work. Her manager is hoping she'll calm down after a while and conform to the dress code, because if not, and if his patience runs out, she's probably going to get the boot.

EDIT for more INFO: I'm not her manager, her manager is her manager (who should've fixed this a long time ago). I made the complaint about her attire when my clients went from just rolling their eyes about it to a verbal complaint. I also don't know how she looked for the interview, I wasn't the one who interviewed her. We work in separate departments.

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A coworker’s bold look can light up an office or dim its professional shine, depending on who’s watching. The employee’s push to enforce the dress code—prompted by client complaints about the coworker’s tank top, nose ring, and tattoos—aims to protect the company’s image. Her refusal to comply, citing discrimination, raises questions about workplace boundaries and personal expression. While her style reflects individuality, the client-facing role demands alignment with business norms, especially when reps mock her appearance.

Dress codes balance professionalism and fairness. A 2023 Society for Human Resource Management study found 65% of U.S. companies enforce dress codes to maintain client trust. HR expert Alison Green notes, “Dress codes aren’t discrimination if consistently applied, but vague enforcement can breed resentment”. The employee’s concern is valid, but the manager’s delay in addressing the issue muddied the waters. Clear communication and HR mediation could resolve this without escalation.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s office warriors didn’t hold back, weighing in with support for dress code rules and questions about hiring oversight. From snarky takes on client snobbery to debates over tattoos, here’s what they said:

kkoreto1991 - NTA and that’s not discrimination. She is the first person they see when the reps walk through the door. She is the face of the company. You’re asking her to wear business attire to seem professional. That’s not out of line.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. The bare midriff is violation of the business casual dress code. Straps/belly showing are casual, not business casual. Her hair and makeup are personal tastes and can’t be retroactively regulated.

[Reddit User] - NTA. Professionalism includes *professional attire*. Also, with complaints coming from your *customers*, it's now a problem interfering with business.. Also, it's not discrimination to have her dress accordingly. Her outfit is not a protected class.

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ShelfLifeInc - INFO: if your office policy says no facial piercings or facial tattoos, why did you hire someone with a nose-ring and neck tatts? If your workplace is the kind of place that doesn't welcome alternative looks, why did she get hired?

Honestly, I don't think she's the a**hole here. I'm guessing that she has her tattoos, piercings and most likely short punk hair when she was hired 8 months ago. Was her appearance brought up at all then? Like, 'we'd love to have you, but here is our dress code.

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If you wish to work with us, we'll need to to conform to it; can you do that?' Was her appearance brought up at all in the last 8 months? Or was her punk look accepted in your work place up until this last meeting?

Start as you mean to finish. If you hired her whilst she presents herself like this, that means you are comfortable with her presenting herself like this. If it's just a matter of the tank top and heavy makeup, but you're willing to accept the tattoos and piercings, then you have a leg to stand on;

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even punks need to look presentable in corporate environments. But if you are expecting her to take her nose piercing out or change her hair colour (assuming it was dyed when she was hired) then you are in the wrong.

young-lion420 - INFO: why has she been allowed to break the dress code for 8 months?

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YFMAS - NAH. Dress code hang ups on tattoos and piercing are stupid. If a person can do the job, ignore the damn tattoos. Dressing like you're going to a club at work is not usually going to go well in most work places.

Saying that, don't police your colleagues. You are not a manager. If the manager really had an issue, he'd have dealt with it, or not hired her. If a client complains about anything you forward it to your manager immediately.

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Silly_Southerner - Mostly NTA. As you admit, the rules don't say anything about the make-up, leave her alone about that part. And unless no one else is allowed to dye their hair or have highlights, you can leave off the hair color - but can insist on a professional appearance in how she styles it.. The rest? Well, she agreed by taking the job to follow the rules. That includes the dress code.

[Reddit User] - NTA about the dress code. Rules are rules; that’s not discrimination. However, I’d say leave her alone about the makeup. If there are no rules about the makeup she should be allowed to wear whatever makeup she wants.

SpacewomanSalome - Anybody else weirded out he calles her 'female' in the caption?

my-pen-name-is- - Does your company have an HR Dept? It sounds like it's time to bring them into the mix, especially if this could start to affect business. While I'm all for letting people express their personalities and dressing how they want, work does have different rules and office professionalism must be kept. If she wants to keep her alternative look, she should find a job that specifically allows for it.. NTA.

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These Reddit takes are sharper than a tailored suit, but do they miss the coworker’s perspective? Or is the dress code drama a clear-cut case of professionalism?

This office style clash shows how fast personal flair can spark workplace tension. The employee’s push for dress code enforcement aimed to shield the company’s image, but the coworker’s discrimination claim flips the script. Was the employee right to speak up, or should they have let it slide? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a workplace clash over appearance? How would you balance self-expression with professional expectations?

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