AITA for triggering my roommate’s eating disorder?

In a cramped apartment kitchen, a fridge door opens to reveal a battleground of grocery bags and unspoken tensions. A Reddit user, trying to navigate life with a new roommate, found themselves at odds over something as simple as cottage cheese and celery. Their roommate, haunted by an eating disorder, declared these everyday foods off-limits, claiming they trigger painful memories. The user, already squeezing their life into a tiny room, hid their groceries in opaque bags, but the peace shattered when their food ended up in the trash.

This isn’t just a tale of clashing diets—it’s a raw glimpse into the messiness of shared spaces and personal struggles. With rent sky-high and a lease locking them in until June, the user faces a dilemma: stand up for their right to eat what they want, or bend to their roommate’s emotional demands? Reddit’s got opinions, and this story’s ready to spark a lively debate.

‘AITA for triggering my roommate’s eating disorder?’

My roommate moved in 4 months ago and she’s constantly telling me what I can and can’t put in our fridge. I can’t bring in cottage cheese, yogurt, celery, chicken b**ast, rice cakes etc etc because it’s stuff that triggers her because it’s what she ate during her eating disorder days.

I put it in a white plastic bag which she claims she will look inside of and get triggered by. The only way she says I can have that stuff in the apartment is in a mini fridge in my room. My room is tiny barely fits my bed and desk and Im not spending the money on a mini fridge when there’s a perfectly good fridge in the kitchen.

I told her if she buys the mini fridge I will use it but she refuses saying I should be buying the mini fridge because Im choosing to buy foods that trigger her and I can just not. But she’s triggered by staple foods! Unfortunately I can’t move out until the lease is up in June and this apartment is cheaper than most so I don’t want to move out.

I just ignore her until last week when she threw out my groceries! We had a fight about it and she accused me of being cruel to make her look at her triggering foods. But I put them in a white grocery bag, she can’t see anything unless she intentionally looks at it which she admits she does but still blames me.

Shared fridges can turn into minefields when personal struggles spill over. The Reddit user’s clash with their roommate, whose eating disorder makes everyday foods like yogurt triggering, underscores the challenge of coexisting with differing needs. The user’s effort to hide food in opaque bags shows compromise, but the roommate’s act of throwing out groceries crosses a line, escalating a personal issue into a shared one.

This situation reflects a broader challenge: navigating mental health in communal living. A 2023 study by the National Eating Disorders Association notes that 20 million women in the U.S. will experience an eating disorder, often involving triggers like specific foods. The roommate’s demands highlight her struggle, but imposing strict food rules on others is impractical.

Dr. Cynthia Bulik, an eating disorder specialist, says, “Recovery involves managing triggers, not expecting the world to eliminate them”. Her perspective suggests the roommate’s recovery shouldn’t dictate the user’s diet. Instead, the roommate could seek therapy to address triggers, while the user could lock their groceries to prevent tampering.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit didn’t mince words on this fridge fiasco, dishing out sharp takes with a sprinkle of sarcasm. Here’s what the community had to say about this grocery showdown:

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missmegz1492 - NTA. This should have been discussed before she moved in, it wasn't. She has no say in what you put in a communal fridge and if she throws stuff away again document and take her to small claims court.

[Reddit User] - NTA. A plastic opaque bag to keep your own food in is a great idea. If she looks into a bag that she knows is full of food that does NOT belong to her, that's on her.

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SadderOlderWiser - NTA - this girl needs her own apartment. I am all for being as accommodating as possible but she is asking for way too much from you. Hiding your food in plastic bags is already a bit much but at least that’s easy enough to do.. If she needs separate fridges she should buy her own.

Shozurei - NTA. Just SEEING the food is enough to trigger her? How does she go grocery shopping? Does she put a blindfold on at the store? You put the food into something that she can't see into so it doesn't trigger her and she deliberately looked. Sounds like she WANTS to be triggered so she can play the victim all her life.

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[Reddit User] - she accused me of being cruel to make her look at her triggering foods. She's right, it's cruel to strap her down, peel open her eyelids and force her to look at your groceries like something out of A Clockwork Orange... oh wait you don't do that, of course you don't do that. NTA

[Reddit User] - NTA. She's obviously struggled and that's horrible, but she can't enforce food rules on you. If she gets bothered about seeing other people's food in the fridge, why can't she be the one who uses a mini fridge?

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Trina608 - NTA. Tell her to trigger her ass right back out the door. You live there and can eat what you want and keep what you want in the fridge. Make it clear that if she refuses to pay for what she threw out that she will be eating out of the trash because her food is going to join yours.

Chronic_Sardonic - NTA hiding from triggers is the opposite of pursuing recovery. She needs to work on her issues, not try to accomplish the impossible task of making the entire world accommodate her

GyroThrowAway - NTA. While I can be sympathetic to her and her struggles this is a totally unreasonable list of foods to keep out of the fridge. She also has no right to literally throw food out that isn't hers. The solution is she can get her own mini-fridge, if it is this much of a debilitating issue for her, or move out.

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No-End3167 - NTA. I have no sympathy for her because she's unreasonable, ridiculous, and by her own admission is snooping through bags she knows does not belong to her. I wouldn't extend any courtesy to her from this point on. Keep your foods out, have them clearly labeled, use them as you will - and if she disposes of anything that's yours evict her.

These spicy opinions call out the roommate’s overreach, but do they capture the full picture? One thing’s certain: Reddit’s rooting for the user’s right to their yogurt!

This fridge feud serves up a tangy mix of personal boundaries and roommate woes, showing how even a grocery bag can spark a firestorm. The Reddit user’s fight to keep their food highlights the tricky balance of empathy and fairness in shared spaces. With a lease tying them together, the solution lies in clear rules and mutual respect—or maybe a lock on the fridge. What would you do if your groceries were on the line? Drop your thoughts, stories, or kitchen survival tips below!

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