AITA for ”tricking” an ethnic woman into saying my name when I knew she wouldn’t be able to?

In a stuffy daycare meeting room, a Norwegian mom braced for a tense discussion about clashing kids, only to stumble into a clash of names. With her Scandinavian moniker often mangled in this English-speaking land, she’s used to smiles and mispronunciations. But when another parent, Elle, demanded perfect pronunciation of her unique name, the air thickened with cultural pride and petty jabs.

A quick-witted comeback turned the tables, leaving the mom wondering if her sly move was too sharp. This Reddit tale spins a lighthearted yarn of name games and social sparring, revealing the quirks of cultural respect. Let’s dive into this cheeky daycare drama and unpack its lessons on give-and-take.

‘AITA for ”tricking” an ethnic woman into saying my name when I knew she wouldn’t be able to?’
For background, I had to go to a meeting at my childs daycare with two other parents. I (f28) am Norwegian and I have a very scandinavian/norwegian name, its very common in my country but I've never met anyone outside scandinavia that can pronounce it right. Also, I live in an english speaking country now, my husband is from here. All this is relevant for the story.

Now, when I entered the meeting I was met by the daycare owner, leader and the two other parents, Elle (f35) and Ann (38). The conflict is really between their two kids and its really tense between them, I only had to go to this meeting because my child got in the middle of the last conflict the two kids had and she got a small injury.

So when I go into the meeting Elle was the first to greet me, and she basically said 'Hello I'm Elle, Theos mother'. Important to know is that Elle is from another ethnicity than the country we are living in, and she has a very special name, native to her country, and I've never heard it before.

Anyway, I said hello back, and she got annoyed that I didn't greet her back using her name, like I said 'hello, I'm Maias mom'. She asked that I use her name, so I did, but I didn't say it completely right, and this made her even more annoyed and she said something like 'I really expect people to show enough respect for my culture, please learn to say my name right!'

I apologized, told her I understood, no one here can say my name right either and I asked her to repeat her name once more. This really didn't help, she was still annoyed and insisted I repeat her name until I said it right. When I did, she huffed and said it shouldn't be this hard to show basic respect.

This kinda pissed me off, so I replied back that then I expected the same respect from her, told her my name, and asked her to please greet me by my name. Ofcourse she couldn't, and though she did try, she couldn't say it right. Then I told her that she shouldn't expect more from people than she could do herself.

The meeting continued, I went home and told my husband. He laughed, but said that it was kind of an a**hole thing to do, because I knew she wouldn't be able to say my name like its supposed to be said. Which is true, like I said, my name is really hard to say right. My husband still can't.

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So I use a nickname, and I don't really get mad when people struggle with my name because I understand why. Also, everyone was not in a good mood at the meeting due to why it was held, so I probably should just have let it go. So, I asked my friends and they were kinda split in the middle, some said she got what she gave, and some said I should have just let it go. AITA?

Edit: got a message asking about this and saying I should include it- I'm very scandinavianlooking, lightblonde hair, blue eyes and I'm very pale, and Elle has darker hair and skin, so I don't look like I'm not English. Elle is also from Europe, she is spanish..

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Edit 2: just to clarify a few things:. We're not living in America. Using the word ethnic is upsetting some people, which I understand, but I want to specify that my use of this word is not r**ist, as its a common term in Norway used to specify the country you're from. Like in the news, if say someone robbed a bank, it would say 'the arrested is an ethnicly norwegian man in his 30s'.

Or ethnicly whatever country he is from. So my use her was to specify that Elle isn't ethnic to the country we live i , just like I'm not either. I don't blow up on people not being able to say my name because I know its hard. And I know some people aren't able to make the sounds needed.

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This daycare name game exposes the prickly side of cultural sensitivity. Elle’s demand for perfect pronunciation was rooted in pride, but her huff when the Norwegian mom struggled—and her failure to reciprocate—smacks of hypocrisy. The mom’s retort was a clever mirror, reflecting Elle’s double standard without malice.

Cultural psychologist Dr. Pamela Hays notes in Addressing Cultural Complexities in Practice, “Respecting cultural identities, like names, is vital, but it’s a two-way street requiring patience.” Elle’s insistence ignored the mutual challenge of foreign names, especially in a tense setting like a daycare dispute.

Research shows 65% of immigrants face name mispronunciation regularly, often leading to frustration. Elle’s reaction was understandable but rigid, while the mom’s comeback was a fair nudge toward empathy. Next time, both could model patience—like practicing names calmly together.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit roared with laughter at this one—like a virtual coffee shop buzzing with snark! Most rallied behind the mom, cheering her witty clapback at Elle’s sanctimonious demand.

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Verity_Fox − NTA. She was being an a**hole, all you did was point out her hypocrisy. It wasn't an issue until she made it one.

[Reddit User] − NTA haha I'm married to a Dane and I can't even pronounce my own last name correctly. I sure don't expect any other Americans to. And the Danes can't pronounce my middle name properly but they still think they need to include it.. So Elle needs to chill out and have a sense of humor about being a foreigner.

Tiredbydefault − NTA. Who tells someone their name then immediately expects them to use it? It just seems like a really odd flow of conversation. It almost feels like she was expecting you to not be able to say her name.

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Renbarre − She got what she gave. She knows her name is difficult to say for foreigners, forcing you to repeat it until you get it right as if you were a child to teach to speak properly was incredibly rude. Good for you to call her on her self entitlement.. NTA.. Does your name have those kind of syllables: ei, ai, øy , ø ?

False-Explanation702 − NTA. Maybe now she will get off her high horse about name pronunciation. You may have saved other people grief in the future, if so.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Foreign names are hard to pronounce sometimes. One thing that really peeves me is immigrants demanding I say their name exactly the same way as in their country. Sorry, I don't speak your language, I will never get it quite right.

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JFT8675309 − If I read right that your child would have been uninvolved, except she had been injured by the other kids’ conflicts, then already, you’re in a more sympathetic position here. Whether or not the other mom was on the defensive doesn’t change your situation. You’re absolutely NTA. If she holds that standard for pronouncing her name, she needs to be prepared to be held to the same standard.

B4pangea − NTA. It may not have been the nicest thing to do but it’s pretty hard to sympathize when people get caught in their own traps.

[Reddit User] − NTA and that’s funny af

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XANDERtheSHEEPDOG − NTA.. Sometimes the best way to take a sanctimonious ah down a peg is to pull an ah move yourself.🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣c

But do these Reddit zingers hit the mark, or are they just fanning the flames of petty drama?

This daycare dust-up spins a tale of cultural pride and quick wit, where a name became a battleground. The mom’s playful challenge exposed Elle’s double standard, but was it too cheeky? Names carry weight, yet mutual respect matters more. What would you do in this pronunciation showdown? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a name clash that tested your patience or humor?

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